I always thought my relationship with my child would stay strong, no matter what.

But as they grew up, something changed.

Conversations became shorter. Calls went unanswered. And when we did talk, there was a distance—something unspoken hanging between us.

At first, I ignored it. Told myself they were just busy, caught up in their own life. But deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

It’s subtle. Gradual. Easy to miss—until it’s too late.

In this article, we’ll go over 7 subtle signs that your adult child may have lost trust and respect for you, according to psychology.

1) They only share surface-level conversations with you

One of the first signs that something had shifted in my relationship with my child was the way our conversations changed.

We still talked—but only about superficial things. The weather, work, what they had for dinner.

Gone were the deep, meaningful discussions we used to have. They no longer opened up to me about their struggles, their dreams, or what was really going on in their life.

At first, I thought maybe they were just busy. But then I realized: it wasn’t about time—it was about trust.

If your adult child only engages in surface-level conversations with you, it might be a sign that they no longer see you as someone they can confide in.

Pay close attention to what they don’t say. If your connection feels more like polite small talk than a real relationship, it may be time to ask yourself why—and what you can do to rebuild that trust.

2) They avoid asking for your advice

I used to be the first person my child turned to when they needed guidance. Whether it was school, relationships, or career decisions, they valued my opinion.

But over time, I noticed a shift. They stopped asking for my advice altogether.

At first, I told myself they were just becoming independent, which is natural. But then I saw them seeking guidance from others—friends, mentors, even distant relatives—while completely bypassing me.

That’s when it hit me: they no longer saw me as someone they could rely on for wisdom or support.

And maybe that was part of the issue—I had been so focused on giving advice in the past that I hadn’t always made space for them to feel heard and accepted as they were.

If your adult child avoids seeking your guidance, it might not just be about independence. It could be a sign that they no longer trust your judgment—or worse, that past experiences have made them feel unheard or criticized.

3) They seem emotionally distant

I remember a time when my child and I could talk for hours, laughing about silly things or sharing stories about our day. But at some point, that warmth started to fade.

When we were together, it felt like there was an invisible wall between us. They were polite but distant, responding with short answers and never really engaging beyond what was necessary.

I told myself I was imagining it. But deep down, I knew something had changed.

Emotional distance is often a sign of lost trust or unresolved hurt. Psychology suggests that when people feel emotionally unsafe in a relationship, they naturally pull away to protect themselves.

Looking back, I realized there were moments when I had dismissed their feelings without meaning to—times when I had been quick to judge instead of just listening.

If your adult child seems emotionally detached around you, don’t ignore it. Something may have caused them to put up walls, and those walls won’t come down unless they feel safe enough to let you in again.

The best thing you can do? Create a space where they feel truly heard and respected—without pressure, without expectations, just genuine understanding.

4) They don’t share their achievements with you

I’ll never forget the day I found out—through someone else—that my child had gotten a big promotion at work.

It wasn’t that they forgot to tell me. They had told their friends, their colleagues, even extended family. But not me.

That realization stung. In the past, I was always one of the first people they shared good news with. But now? It was like I was no longer part of their inner circle.

According to a study published in the Journal of Family Communication, parental support plays a crucial role in whether children feel comfortable sharing personal accomplishments.

The study found that children who felt judged or overly criticized by their parents were less likely to share both good and bad news with them as adults.

Looking back, I had to ask myself: Had I been too critical in the past? Had I unintentionally made them feel like their achievements were never quite good enough?

If your adult child no longer shares their successes with you, it might be because they fear judgment—or that your reaction won’t be as supportive as they’d like.

5) They set firm boundaries with you

I used to think that being a parent meant always having a place in my child’s life—no matter what.

But as they got older, I started noticing something: They were creating more and more distance.

They wouldn’t share certain details about their personal life. They avoided discussing emotions. And sometimes, they even cut conversations short with a polite but firm, “I don’t want to talk about that.”

At first, I felt hurt. Why were they shutting me out?

But then I realized—boundaries aren’t always about pushing someone away. Sometimes, they’re about protecting yourself from something that feels emotionally unsafe.

Psychologists often emphasize that when someone sets strict boundaries, it’s usually because past interactions have made them feel unheard or disrespected.

If your adult child is doing this, it may be their way of maintaining control over interactions that once felt frustrating or painful for them.

Instead of pushing back against these boundaries, I learned to respect them. I stopped prying when they didn’t want to share and made sure that when they did open up, I truly listened—without interrupting, without judging, just listening.

6) They seem more like an acquaintance than family

There was a time when spending time with my child felt natural—effortless, even.

But at some point, our interactions started to feel… formal.

They were polite, sure. We’d chat about work, daily life, maybe exchange a few jokes. But it lacked the warmth we once had. It felt like talking to a distant relative or even a coworker—someone who was engaging out of obligation, not genuine connection.

And that realization hit me hard.

But when trust is damaged, those emotional bonds start to weaken. And if left unaddressed, they can turn a once-close relationship into something distant and transactional.

If your adult child treats you more like an acquaintance than family, it’s not just about growing up—it’s often a sign that emotional trust has been lost along the way.

Rebuilding that bond starts with small moments of genuine connection—showing interest in their life without judgment, making time for them without expectations, and proving (through actions, not just words) that your relationship is a safe space again.

7) They rarely disagree with you

You’d think that fewer arguments would mean a better relationship, right?

That’s what I thought—until I realized my child had stopped disagreeing with me altogether.

In the past, we’d debate things. They’d challenge my opinions, push back on my advice, and sometimes even get frustrated with me. But now? They just nodded along, agreed with whatever I said, and kept their real thoughts to themselves.

At first, I thought this meant we were getting along better. But then it hit me—this wasn’t agreement; it was disengagement.

When someone stops challenging you, it’s often because they no longer feel like it’s worth the effort. They’ve either lost trust that their opinion will be respected, or they’ve emotionally checked out of the relationship.

So, the next time a disagreement comes up, show them it’s safe to express their thoughts. Instead of trying to prove your point, ask them, “I really want to understand your perspective—can you tell me more about how you see this?”

When people feel heard, they’re more willing to engage authentically. And real connection starts with honest conversation—not silent agreement.

Rebuilding trust starts with you

If you’ve noticed these signs in your relationship with your adult child, don’t panic—trust can be rebuilt.

The key? Focus on how you show up in their life.

• Listen more than you speak.
• Respect their boundaries.
• Celebrate them without conditions.
• Apologize if needed.

Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight, but small changes create big shifts. Show them—through your actions—that your relationship is a safe space again.

And when they start opening up, engaging more, and letting you back in? That’s when you’ll know you’re on the right path.