There’s a fine line between pursuing people and smothering them, and it’s crucial to know where you stand.

According to psychology, there are subtle signs that reveal you’re chasing people more than they’re chasing you.

It’s not about tallying scores, but about understanding the dynamics of your relationships.

In this light, I’ve compiled 7 subtle signs that can help you identify if you’re on the chasing end more than you’d like to be.

This isn’t about blaming or shaming, but about fostering healthier relationships. Because remember, it’s a two-way street.

It’s not just about how much effort you put in, but also about how much is reciprocated.

So let’s dive into these signs, shall we?

1) You’re always the initiator

It’s normal to reach out to others, but have you ever stopped to consider who’s usually making the first move?

If it’s always you initiating plans, texts, or even conversations, it could be a sign you’re chasing people more than they’re chasing you.

Psychology teaches us that reciprocity plays a vital role in our social interactions.

As renowned psychologist Robert Cialdini once said, “We are human because our ancestors learned to share their food and their skills in an honored network of obligation.”

If you find that you’re the one constantly offering your ‘food and skills’ without much in return, it might be time to reevaluate.

It’s not about keeping score, but about ensuring there’s a balanced give-and-take in your relationships.

2) You’re always available

This one hit home for me. I used to pride myself on being the ‘go-to’ friend who was always available.

It seemed like a good thing until I realized that I was often putting my needs and plans on hold for others.

The legendary psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

It took me a while to realize, but constantly making myself available was my way of seeking validation.

It’s important to remember that being a good friend or partner doesn’t mean you have to be at someone’s beck and call.

Value your time and others will too. It’s about striking a balance between being supportive and knowing when to prioritize yourself.

3) You feel anxious when they don’t respond

Do you find your heart sinking when there’s no immediate response to your text or call?

This could be a sign you’re chasing more than being chased.

Anxiety in relationships is often linked to a fear of rejection or abandonment.

Famed psychologist Albert Ellis emphasized, “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”

While persistence is important, it’s equally crucial to recognize when it’s causing us anxiety.

If the lack of response from someone triggers feelings of insecurity or worry, it might be time to reassess your emotional investment in the relationship.

It’s essential to ensure that our persistence is rooted in love and not in fear.

4) You justify their lack of effort

If you find yourself constantly making excuses for someone’s lack of effort or reciprocation, it’s a clear sign you’re in chase mode.

We’re more likely to justify the behavior of those we care about, even when it’s clearly lacking or negative.

This is a coping mechanism to preserve our emotional investment.

But it’s crucial to remember, a relationship is a two-way street.

If you’re continually justifying their lack of effort, it might be time to reassess the balance.

5) You often feel drained

I remember a time when I’d often feel exhausted after spending time with certain friends.

It wasn’t until later I realized that it was because I was constantly trying to keep the relationship alive single-handedly.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, said, “Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.”

It’s essential to be honest about how our relationships make us feel.

If you’re regularly feeling drained, take a step back and consider if it’s because you’re doing all the chasing.

Healthy relationships should energize you, not leave you feeling depleted.

6) You’re afraid to express your needs

It might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes, constantly chasing people can stem from a fear of expressing our own needs.

It’s as if we’re trying to be so indispensable to others that we suppress what we genuinely want or need.

Abraham Maslow, known for creating Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, once said, “What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.”

In the pursuit of being there for others, don’t forget to be there for yourself too.

It’s okay to express your needs in a relationship.

In fact, it’s necessary for the relationship to thrive.

7) You ignore other relationships

When you’re so focused on chasing one person, it’s easy to neglect other important relationships.

As renowned psychologist, Carl Rogers said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”

It’s important to learn from our experiences and adapt.

If you’re sacrificing other relationships for the sake of one, it might be time for a change.

It could be a clear sign you’re chasing far more than you’re being chased.

Final thoughts

Navigating relationships is complex, and it’s only natural to stumble and learn along the way.

Recognizing these subtle signs of chasing people more than they chase you isn’t about feeling guilty or deficient.

It’s about introspection, growth, and fostering healthier dynamics in your relationships.

Remember, the essence of any relationship lies in reciprocity and balance.

If you find yourself constantly on the chasing end, take a step back and reflect.

It’s possible that in your chase for others, you may have left yourself behind.

Let this understanding not deter you but empower you.

Empower you to reassess, to recalibrate, and to establish relationships that are fulfilling and balanced.

After all, the greatest journey you’ll ever embark on is the journey within yourself.