If someone ignores a crying friend, you know they lack empathy; if someone laughs at another person’s pain, it’s obvious they don’t care.

But not everyone who struggles with empathy makes it so clear.

Some people seem warm and friendly on the surface, yet something about them feels… off.

That’s because empathy isn’t just about big emotional displays—it’s in the small, everyday moments.

If you know what to look for, you can spot the subtle signs that someone doesn’t actually care as much as they pretend to.

Here are eight signs that someone has very little empathy, even if they don’t show it outright:

1) They dismiss other people’s feelings

Emotions can be messy, unpredictable, and sometimes overwhelming.

But for someone with little empathy, they’re more of an inconvenience than something to be understood.

Instead of acknowledging what others feel, they brush it off—telling people they’re “overreacting” or that they should “just get over it.”

To them, emotions are something to be ignored or shut down, not something to be respected.

This doesn’t always come across as outright cruelty.

Sometimes, it’s disguised as logic or tough love.

But at the end of the day, the message is the same: They don’t see other people’s feelings as important.

2) They rarely apologize—at least, not sincerely

I once had a friend who never seemed to take responsibility for anything.

If she hurt someone’s feelings, she’d brush it off with a half-hearted “Sorry you feel that way” or “I didn’t mean it like that,” but never a real apology.

At first, I thought she just had trouble expressing herself.

But over time, I realized the problem wasn’t her words—it was her lack of empathy.

She didn’t truly care how her actions affected people.

To her, apologizing wasn’t about making things right; it was about ending the conversation as quickly as possible.

People with little empathy struggle to say, “I was wrong” and actually mean it.

Instead of acknowledging the harm they’ve caused, they deflect, make excuses, or even turn the blame back on you.

3) They struggle to read between the lines

Most of human communication isn’t about the words we say—it’s about tone, body language, and subtle cues.

But people with little empathy often miss these signals entirely.

They don’t pick up on when someone is uncomfortable, upset, or holding back their true feelings.

If a friend says they’re “fine” but clearly looks distressed, they’ll take it at face value instead of digging deeper.

Not because they don’t understand words, but because they don’t naturally tune into emotions the way empathetic people do.

Studies show that those who lack empathy have a harder time recognizing facial expressions and emotional cues in others.

It’s not just that they don’t care—it’s that they might not even notice when something is wrong in the first place.

4) They make everything about themselves

Have you ever opened up to someone about a problem, only for them to immediately turn the conversation back to themselves?

Instead of listening or offering support, they start talking about their own experiences—sometimes even making it a competition.

People with little empathy often struggle to focus on others’ feelings because they’re too wrapped up in their own.

They might interrupt, dismiss your concerns, or steer the conversation in a direction that benefits them.

It’s not always intentional, but it reveals a lack of emotional awareness.

Being able to step outside of your own perspective and truly listen is a key part of empathy.

Without that, every conversation becomes less about connection and more about self-interest.

5) They don’t react when someone is hurting

I’ve always believed that you can tell a lot about a person by how they respond to someone else’s pain.

When a friend is struggling, most people will at least offer some kind of comfort—a kind word, a reassuring gesture, or even just a look of concern.

But people with little empathy? They barely react at all!

I’ve seen it happen—someone shares something heartbreaking, and instead of showing sympathy, the other person just nods, changes the subject, or acts like nothing happened—and it’s as if the emotion doesn’t register for them.

It’s not that they have to cry or make a big display of concern.

When someone is completely indifferent in moments where most people would feel something, it speaks volumes about how little they connect with the emotions of others.

6) They can be overly logical in emotional situations

Logic is important, but there are times when emotions matter more.

People with little empathy, however, often lean so heavily on logic that they dismiss feelings altogether.

Instead of offering comfort, they try to “fix” the problem with cold, rational advice.

If someone is grieving, they might say, “Well, getting upset won’t change anything.”; if a friend is heartbroken, they’ll respond with, “You’ll find someone else,” instead of acknowledging the pain.

At first, this might seem like a practical way to help—but real empathy isn’t about offering solutions; it’s about understanding.

7) They rarely show genuine excitement for others

Empathy isn’t just about sharing in someone’s pain—it’s also about sharing in their joy. B

Yet, people with little empathy often struggle to celebrate others’ successes, especially if it doesn’t benefit them directly.

Maybe you share exciting news, and instead of being happy for you, they downplay it or change the subject.

Or worse, they make it about themselves—bringing up their own achievements or subtly hinting that yours aren’t that impressive.

Genuine empathy means feeling happiness when others are happy, not just when it serves your own interests.

If someone never seems truly excited for you, it might be because they don’t connect with your emotions in the first place.

8) They lack curiosity about other people’s emotions

At the heart of empathy is curiosity—the desire to understand what others are feeling and why.

However, people with little empathy don’t ask those kinds of questions.

They don’t check in when someone seems off, they don’t ask follow-up questions when a friend shares something emotional, and they don’t wonder how their words or actions affect others.

It’s not just that they don’t feel deeply—it’s that they don’t care to understand those who do.

Why empathy matters more than you think

If you’ve read this far, you probably understand just how important empathy is in everyday life.

Because empathy isn’t just about being kind—it’s what allows us to connect, support, and truly understand one another.

Without it, relationships feel shallow, conversations feel one-sided, and emotional connections break down.

Psychologists have even found that empathy plays a role in everything from strong friendships to successful teamwork.

It’s what helps people trust each other, resolve conflicts, and build deeper bonds.

At the end of the day, the people who make us feel seen, heard, and understood are the ones we remember most—and that all comes down to empathy!