8 subtle phrases all narcissists love to hear, says a psychologist

In my journey as a psychologist, I’ve encountered a fair share of individuals with narcissistic personality traits.
Their reactions often pivot around certain phrases that feed their ego and validate their self-image.
If you’ve ever had a relationship or interaction with someone who is narcissistic, you may have noticed a pattern in the kind of words and sentences they’re drawn to.
These are usually statements that affirm their sense of superiority or importance.
Narcissism isn’t merely a personality trait; it’s a recognized psychological condition. It’s not something chosen deliberately.
Understanding the language that appeals to narcissists can help navigate conversations and relationships with them, and that’s what we’re going to explore.
This brief intro is for an article titled “8 subtle phrases all narcissists love to hear, says a psychologist”.
Let’s dive in and unravel these phrases.
1) “You’re the best”
As a psychologist, I’ve noticed that one phrase narcissists often gravitate towards is “You’re the best.”
This seemingly harmless compliment feeds directly into their inflated sense of self-worth.
Narcissists thrive on the idea of being superior to others in every aspect, be it intelligence, looks, or skills.
When you tell them they are the best, it reinforces their belief in their superiority.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with complimenting someone.
However, with narcissists, this phrase could potentially lead to an imbalance in the relationship dynamics.
It may end up fueling their ego and consequently, their narcissistic tendencies.
But understanding this can help you manage your interactions better.
You can be more mindful of your words and how they might affect the person you’re communicating with.
It’s not about withholding compliments but being aware of the potential impact they could have when dealing with someone who may have narcissistic tendencies.
2) “I need your advice”
This phrase might seem surprising. After all, why would you seek advice from someone who often puts their needs and wants first?
But remember, narcissists view themselves as superior, and this extends to their knowledge and opinions too.
When you say “I need your advice,” it affirms their belief in their own wisdom and expertise.
It gives them a sense of importance and value, as they feel needed and recognized for their insight.
This doesn’t mean you should always turn to them for guidance.
Keep in mind that the advice received could be biased towards their own interests. It’s essential to balance this with perspectives from other sources too.
Understanding this pattern isn’t about manipulation; it’s about navigating interactions more effectively with those who display narcissistic traits.
3) “No one else understands me like you do”
This phrase plays into a narcissist’s desire to be unique and irreplaceable.
Narcissists often see themselves as distinct from the crowd, and hearing that they’re the only ones who truly understand someone else further bolsters this belief.
From a psychological perspective, the human mind is drawn to feelings of exclusivity and uniqueness.
This is even more pronounced in people with narcissistic traits, who often crave validation of their special status.
Using this phrase can also create an intense bond that might not be healthy.
It can lead to an unhealthy dependency where the narcissist feels they are the sole emotional anchor in your life.
Always ensure there’s a balance and that you have other sources of support and understanding in your life.
4) “I appreciate you”
Everyone, including narcissists, enjoys feeling appreciated.
This phrase can go a long way in creating a positive atmosphere, even when dealing with someone who has narcissistic tendencies.
Expressing appreciation doesn’t always mean endorsing or encouraging their narcissistic behavior.
It can simply be a way of acknowledging their efforts or good deeds.
Remember, underneath the outward bravado, narcissists often grapple with deeply hidden insecurities.
Letting them know they’re appreciated may provide a sense of security and validation.
It’s crucial to remain genuine and sincere when expressing your appreciation.
Your words should reflect your true feelings and not be used as a tool for manipulation or appeasement.
5) “You were right”
We all have moments when we have to admit that someone else was right, and we were wrong.
When said to a narcissist, this phrase serves as a validation of their perceived superior judgment.
Narcissists take pride in their intellectual capacity and decision-making skills.
Acknowledging that they were right about something reinforces their belief in their own infallibility.
It’s essential to use this phrase judiciously.
While it’s okay to admit when they’re right, it’s equally important not to compromise on your perspectives and beliefs just for the sake of appeasing them.
As with any interaction, honesty and authenticity should guide your conversations.
Just as you acknowledge when they’re right, it’s equally important for them to respect and consider your opinions.
6) “I’ve never met anyone like you”
In my years as a psychologist, I recall an interaction with an individual who displayed strong narcissistic traits.
They seemed to light up each time they heard the phrase, “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
This statement reinforces the narcissist’s belief in their uniqueness and superiority.
It’s a subtle affirmation of their distinctiveness and fuels their self-perception of being extraordinary.
It’s fine to acknowledge someone’s uniqueness, but be cautious about how it might be perceived and used by a narcissist.
While they may enjoy this admiration, it’s essential to maintain boundaries and not let their perceived uniqueness overshadow your own worth and individuality.
7) “You make everything interesting”
Narcissists typically believe they carry a certain charm, making every situation captivating.
When you say, “You make everything interesting,” it feeds into this perception.
It’s important to understand that while they may enjoy being the center of attention, it doesn’t mean every scenario needs to revolve around them.
This phrase can be used sparingly when it’s genuinely merited, such as when they’re indeed adding value to a conversation or situation.
But let’s not forget that everyone contributes to making a moment interesting in their own unique way.
The key is to maintain a balance—acknowledge their contribution but also ensure that your own and others’ roles are not underestimated or overlooked.
8) “Your opinion matters to me”
The most crucial thing to remember when interacting with a narcissist is maintaining a balance.
The phrase, “Your opinion matters to me,” is a powerful one. It gives them a sense of importance and validation, which they crave.
It’s equally vital to ensure that your own voice is heard and respected.
In a healthy interaction, everyone’s opinions should matter, not just those of the narcissist.
Using this phrase doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them. It simply means you value diverse perspectives, including theirs.
But remember, your opinion is just as important and should be treated with the same respect.
Ultimately, navigating a relationship with a narcissist requires understanding, patience, and above all, a strong sense of self-worth.
Wrapping up
Developing an understanding of narcissism is not about manipulation or playing mind games.
It’s about fostering better communication and healthier relationships.
This article has provided insights into the phrases narcissists tend to favor, but it’s important to remember that your words should always come from a place of sincerity and authenticity.
Cherishing one’s self-worth and maintaining a balance in conversations is crucial.
It’s essential not to let someone else’s needs or desires overshadow your own.
At the end of the day, it’s your journey with lessons to learn, experiences to embrace, and relationships to navigate.
The goal is not just to understand others better but also to grow and mature in the process.
Here’s to healthier interactions, deeper understanding, and personal growth!