I’ve often heard parents lament, “As my children grow older, we seem to be growing apart.” Sound familiar?

Here’s a thought.

Could it be that certain habits are creating this apparent chasm?

It’s easy to overlook the small things that can make a big difference. But don’t worry, because there’s good news.

You can absolutely strengthen your bond with your children as you both age, and it can be done in subtle ways that won’t feel like an uphill struggle.

I’m going to share with you seven simple habits that can help bridge any gap and enhance your relationship with your children. Trust me, it’s never too late or too early to start.

Now, let’s delve into these life-altering habits that can take your parent-child relationship from good to great.

1) Embrace active listening

We often hear about the importance of communication in relationships, but how often do we focus on the art of listening?

Let’s be real.

Sometimes, all your children need is a sounding board. Someone who can sit with them, give them undivided attention and truly listen to what they have to say.

Active listening isn’t just about hearing the words; it’s about understanding the emotions behind them.

So, next time your child wants to talk, put down your phone, switch off the TV, and tune into their world.

Ask open-ended questions. Nod in acknowledgment. Show empathy.

Remember, it’s not always about problem-solving. Sometimes, it’s about just being there.

This simple habit can strengthen your bond as it shows your child that their thoughts and feelings are valued. As you get older, this habit will continue to foster a deep sense of trust and understanding between you and your children.

2) Create shared experiences

There’s something magical about shared experiences, isn’t there?

Let me share a little story with you.

When my daughter turned 16, I realized our conversations were becoming more about homework and chores, and less about dreams, passions, and laughter. We needed a change.

So, we started a little tradition – our weekly ‘Adventure Day.’ It could be anything – a hike, trying out a new recipe, exploring a local museum, or even DIY crafts at home.

Here’s what happened.

Our shared adventures not only gave us countless memories but also sparked conversations that went beyond the mundane. We laughed, we learned, and most importantly, we connected on a deeper level.

Even now as she’s away at college, we make it a point to have our ‘virtual adventure days’ – be it binge-watching a series together or learning a new skill online.

The lesson here?

Shared experiences create shared memories. And these shared memories are like invisible threads that keep you connected no matter how far apart you are physically.

So why not create your own shared experiences with your children? 

3) Be present, not perfect

It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be the “perfect” parent.

I’ve been there.

The endless cycle of feeling guilty about not doing enough, not being enough. But over time, I realized that my children didn’t need a flawless parent.

They needed me. Imperfect, yes. But present.

Being present means being emotionally available for your children. It means setting aside your distractions and worries, and showing up for them fully – in their highs as well as lows.

For instance, when my son had his first heartbreak, my instinct was to fix it – to turn into ‘supermom’ and make everything okay. But instead, I chose to just be there for him.

I listened. I comforted. I reassured him that it was okay to feel hurt, to feel disappointed. And through this, our bond deepened.

So, let go of the pressure to be perfect. Instead, focus on being present. Because at the end of the day, it’s your presence that your children will remember and cherish the most as they get older.

4) Encourage their independence

As parents, it can be difficult to let go.

You’ve spent years nurturing, protecting, teaching your children. But as they grow, it’s important to gradually loosen the reins and let them explore their independence.

Why is this important?

Because providing them with the space to make decisions, to learn from their mistakes, and to navigate challenges on their own fosters confidence and resilience.

For example, when my youngest started high school, I found it really hard not to hover and intervene in every aspect of her life. But I knew I had to step back.

So, I started encouraging her to manage her own schedule, make her own lunch, even handle minor conflicts with friends on her own.

Yes, there were hiccups along the way. But with each challenge she navigated independently, I could see her confidence growing. And surprisingly, our bond strengthened.

She knew I was there for support if needed, but also trusted that I believed in her ability to handle things on her own.

Remember: Encouraging independence doesn’t mean pushing them away; it means fostering self-reliance while reassuring them that you’re their safety net.

It’s a balance that can create a strong bond of trust and understanding as you both age.

5) Show appreciation and express love openly

Did you know that expressing gratitude can actually increase levels of happiness and reduce depressive symptoms?

It’s true.

And applying this principle in our relationships with our children can have a profound impact.

We often think our children know how much we love them, how proud we are of them. But there’s something powerful about expressing it openly.

I make it a point to tell my kids regularly how much I appreciate them – their efforts, their kindness, their individuality. It could be as simple as a note in their lunchbox or a quick text message.

And you know what? It not only brings a smile to their faces but also fosters a positive environment where they feel valued and loved.

So don’t hold back. Express your love and appreciation for your children openly and often. As they grow older, these expressions of love will serve as reminders of your unchanging affection and strengthen your bond even more.

6) Be their safe space

In a world that can sometimes be overwhelming and challenging, your children need to know that there’s one place where they can always find solace – with you.

Creating a safe emotional space for your children is crucial.

A few years ago, my son went through a particularly rough patch. He was struggling with his college workload, feeling stressed and anxious.

During this time, I tried to be his safe space. Instead of feeding him solutions or brushing off his stress as ‘part of life’, I acknowledged his feelings. I let him know it was okay to feel overwhelmed, that it was okay to not have everything figured out.

And this approach made a difference. Over time, he opened up more, sharing his fears and anxieties, knowing that he wouldn’t be judged or dismissed.

So, be their safe space. Show them kindness and empathy. Let them know that with you, they can be their authentic selves without the fear of judgement.

As you get older and as they navigate through life’s ups and downs, this foundation of unconditional love and understanding will only strengthen your bond.

7) Adapt and evolve with them

Here’s the thing.

Just like you, your children are constantly growing and evolving. What worked when they were five may not work when they’re fifteen or twenty-five.

The key is to adapt and evolve with them.

This could mean understanding their changing interests, respecting their emerging viewpoints, or even learning their new-fangled lingo (Yes, it took me a while to understand ‘LOL’ too).

Remember, maintaining a strong bond as both you and your children age isn’t about holding onto what was. It’s about embracing what is, and looking forward to what can be.

So learn with them, grow with them, evolve with them. This willingness to adapt is not just a demonstration of your love but also a testament to the strength of your bond that will stand the test of time.

Wrapping it up

At the end of the day, strengthening your bond with your children is a journey, not a destination.

You may realize that you’re already practicing some of these habits. Or perhaps you’ve identified areas where there’s room for growth.

And that’s okay.

The beauty lies in the process – in making the conscious choice to connect deeper with your children, every day. It’s about being present, being patient, and above all, being human.

Remember, it’s not about being a perfect parent. It’s about being a real one.

So, take these habits and weave them into your own unique parenting style. Adapt them to your circumstances. After all, each parent-child relationship is unique.

Progress may be slow and that’s perfectly fine. Small steps can lead to big changes.

And isn’t that a beautiful journey to embark upon?