Being an outstanding father is more than just being present. It’s about the subtle behaviors and actions that leave a lasting impact on a child’s life.

In the realm of psychology, there are certain traits that stand out in men who are truly exceptional fathers. These are not grand gestures, but small, consistent behaviors that make all the difference.

In this article, we’re going to delve into seven of these subtle behaviors. These are traits that can be learned, honed, and incorporated into your parenting style.

So, whether you’re a father looking to step up your game, or a partner wanting to appreciate the great dad in your life, this list is for you.

Let’s jump right in!

1) Active listening

Active listening is more than just hearing what your child says. It’s about being fully present and engaged in the conversation, valuing their thoughts, and responding in a way that shows understanding.

This is a key trait of exceptional fathers. When a child feels heard, they feel respected and valued. This fosters a sense of self-worth and encourages open communication.

So the next time your child comes to you with a story or concern, put down what you’re doing and really listen. Show them through your actions that their words and feelings are important.

This doesn’t mean that you always have to agree with them or give in to their demands. But it does mean acknowledging their perspective and responding with empathy and respect.

2) Consistent presence

Being consistently present is another subtle behavior of exceptional fathers. It’s not about grand gestures or lavish gifts, it’s about showing up consistently in your child’s life.

I will never forget how my father used to make it a point to attend all my school plays, despite his busy schedule. He might not have been the loudest in the audience or the most expressive with his praises, but his consistent presence meant the world to me.

The famous Thich Naht Hanh, once said, “The greatest gift we can give to others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they bloom like flowers.”

Presence goes beyond physical attendance. It’s about being emotionally and mentally there for your child, being engaged in their world, and showing genuine interest in their activities.

Remember, kids spell love as T-I-M-E. Your consistent presence in their life communicates love more than any material possession ever could. So make sure you’re not just physically there for your child, but emotionally and mentally present as well.

3) Emotional vulnerability

Do you remember the last time you let your guard down and showed your children your vulnerable side?

Most men struggle with this. Society has conditioned us to believe that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. But the reality is, emotional vulnerability is a sign of strength.

According to the renowned psychologist, Dr. Brené Brown, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

Showing your children that you, too, have fears and doubts, that you make mistakes and learn from them, makes you human in their eyes. It teaches them that it’s okay to not always have it all together.

Being emotionally vulnerable allows your children to connect with you on a deeper level. It gives them the permission to express their own fears and doubts, knowing they are not alone.

Exceptional fathers aren’t those who never fail or never cry. They are those who aren’t afraid to show their children their authentic selves – warts and all.

4) Leading by example

The saying “actions speak louder than words” holds true, especially when it comes to parenting. Children learn more from what we do than what we say. As fathers, our actions serve as a blueprint for our children’s behavior.

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology found that children are more likely to imitate the actions of adults they deem reliable. This means that as fathers, our actions and behaviors hold a significant influence over our children’s development.

Whether it’s how we treat others, how we handle stress, or even how we take care of our health – our children are watching and learning from us.

So ask yourself: Are your actions reflecting the values you want to instill in your children? Are you leading by example?

Remember, being an exceptional father isn’t just about telling your children what to do – it’s about showing them through your actions.

5) Encouraging independence

Encouraging independence in your child is a subtle but vital behavior of exceptional fathers. It can be challenging to strike the right balance – being there to guide and protect, yet allowing them the freedom to make their own decisions and mistakes.

I remember when my daughter first started riding her bike without training wheels. It was nerve-wracking for me. I wanted to hold on to her bike forever, ensuring she never fell.

But I knew I needed to let go, to allow her the chance to learn, even if it meant scraped knees and bruised elbows.

Teaching our children to be independent fosters self-confidence and resilience. It prepares them for the real world, teaching them that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

Next time you feel the urge to step in and do things for your child, take a step back. Give them space to learn, grow, and become self-reliant.

6) Displaying affection

Contrary to outdated stereotypes, showing affection is a powerful trait of exceptional fathers. It’s not “unmanly” or “weak” – in fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that children who receive affection from their fathers are likely to have healthier relationships as adults. They are also less likely to struggle with behavioral or psychological issues.

Dr. Gottman said, “Children need to know that they have parents who not only love them but who also express that love through affection.”

So whether it’s a hug after a long day, a high five for a job well done, or a comforting hand on the shoulder during tough times – these small acts of affection can mean the world to your child.

Remember, showing affection helps your child feel secure, loved, and valued. So don’t hold back on those hugs and words of love. They can make a world of difference in your child’s life.

7) Practicing patience

Patience is a virtue, especially in fatherhood. It’s about keeping your cool in the face of tantrums, messes, and endless questions.

As psychologist Carl Jung said, “Patience is a key element of success.” This rings true in parenting. Being patient allows you to handle parenting challenges with grace and understanding.

Because, let’s face it – parenting can be tough. But remember, your calmness can be a safe harbor for your child amidst their emotional storm.

So take a deep breath. Be patient. It’s all part of the journey to being an exceptional father.

Final thoughts

Being an exceptional father is not about being perfect. It’s about striving to be better, learning from our mistakes, and being there for our children in the ways that truly matter.

These seven behaviors are subtle but powerful ways to make a positive impact on your child’s life.

Remember, it’s not the grand gestures or material possessions that children will remember. It’s the small moments of genuine connection, the feeling of being heard and valued, and the security of knowing that their father is always there for them.

As you navigate the journey of fatherhood, keep these behaviors in mind. Strive to incorporate them into your parenting style. Because in the end, these subtle behaviors can make all the difference.

Here’s to all fathers out there – striving to be exceptional in their own unique ways. Your efforts are seen, appreciated, and truly make a difference. You are shaping the future one child at a time. Keep going!