“Who doesn’t love a bit of admiration?” I used to think, catching myself trying to impress the barista, the mailman, even the random guy at the gym.

But then it struck me, why was I trying so hard for people who honestly meant nothing to me?

That’s the funny thing about human behavior.

Sometimes, we engage in actions unconsciously, driven by some deep-seated need for acceptance or validation.

Psychology has a lot to say about this.

It turns out, there are signs, subtle but sure, that indicate you’re bending over backwards to impress people who really don’t hold a significant place in your life.

In this article, we’ll delve into these signs.

Not to make you feel bad about yourself but to help you understand your behavior better.

After all, self-awareness is the first step towards positive change.

It’s not about becoming someone else.

It’s about being the best version of you – genuine, authentic and not defined by others’ opinions or approval.

Let’s dive in and uncover these seven signs that you may be unknowingly trying to impress people who mean nothing to you.

Is it going to be a tad uncomfortable? Maybe. But stick around!

This self-awareness might just be the key to unlock a freer, more confident and authentic you.

So grab a cup of your favorite beverage (mine’s chai latte), get cozy and let’s get into some introspection together.

Here’s to less people-pleasing and more self-pleasing!

1) You overthink your actions and words

How many times have you replayed a conversation in your head, analyzing every word, every gesture, and every reaction?

Or found yourself planning meticulously about what to say or do before interacting with someone?

If you’re nodding along, this could be a sign that you’re unconsciously trying to impress people who don’t really matter in your life.

This overthinking stems from a fear of judgment or rejection.

You’re so worried about making the right impression that you micromanage every aspect of your interaction.

But here’s the thing. This not only robs you of spontaneous joy but also creates an unnecessary burden of perfection on your shoulders.

Remember, it’s okay to be unscripted. It’s okay to make mistakes.

After all, being human is about being beautifully flawed.

Next time you catch yourself overthinking, take a deep breath and allow yourself to just be. Trust me, it’s liberating!

2) You feel a constant need to prove yourself

This one hits close to home.

There was a time when I’d find myself constantly trying to prove my worth – be it talking about my accomplishments, flaunting my skills or even subtly dropping names of influential people I knew.

It was exhausting. I felt like I was on a never-ending treadmill, constantly running but never reaching anywhere.

It took me a while to realize that this incessant need to validate my worth was, in fact, an unconscious attempt to impress people who were not even significant in my life.

Psychology explains this as a manifestation of low self-esteem.

We seek external validation because we’re not comfortable with ourselves.

Here’s what I learned: Your value is not defined by external achievements or associations. You’re enough just as you are.

Instead of trying to prove yourself to others, focus on accepting and embracing yourself.

It’s a journey, not an overnight switch, but it’s worth every step.

Remember, you don’t need anyone’s stamp of approval but your own.

3) You’re always the ‘yes’ person

It was a regular Tuesday evening. Tired from work, all I wanted was to curl up with a good book and some hot chocolate.

Then the phone rang – a casual acquaintance inviting me to a party I had no interest in attending.

Yet, two hours later, there I was, in the middle of a crowd, nursing a drink and making polite conversation.

Why? Because I found it difficult to say ‘no’.

Does this sound familiar?

If you’re always saying ‘yes’ even when you’d rather say ‘no’, it might be because you’re trying to fit in or get approval from people who aren’t that important to you.

Being a chronic ‘yes’ person could stem from the fear of conflict or rejection.

But remember: Saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you rude or selfish. It means you’re putting your needs first. And that’s perfectly okay.

So next time, when you want to say ‘no’, just say it. Trust me, the world won’t end, and people will still respect you.

And if they don’t? Well, they probably weren’t worth impressing in the first place.

4) You go out of your way to help

Helping others is a noble act. It’s what makes us human. But there’s a fine line between being helpful and being a doormat.

Are you always the first one to volunteer your help, even when it’s inconvenient for you?

Do you find yourself doing favors for people even when they don’t reciprocate?

If so, you could be unconsciously trying to impress people who don’t really matter in your life.

This behavior is often driven by the need for approval and acceptance.

But here’s the catch: Real friends appreciate you for who you are, not what you can do for them.

So, by all means, help others. But also learn to respect your time and boundaries.

It’s okay to say ‘no’ when something doesn’t align with your priorities or values.

You’re not a superhero, and that’s perfectly fine. You’re human, and that’s more than enough.

5) You’re uncomfortable with silence

Ever found yourself in a situation where the conversation lulls, and an uncomfortable silence ensues?

Instead of letting it be, you rush to fill it with words – any words, just to avoid the awkwardness.

This could be a sign that you’re unconsciously trying to impress people who aren’t important to you.

Silence makes us anxious because we often interpret it as negative. We fear that others might perceive us as dull or boring, hence the rush to fill the silence.

But did you know that in many cultures around the world, silence is valued and seen as a sign of respect and thoughtfulness?

Next time you find yourself in such a situation, take a moment. It’s okay to enjoy the silence.

It’s okay not to fill every moment with words. Let the conversation flow naturally.

And remember, your worth is not defined by how entertaining you can be.

6) You constantly compare yourself to others

We’ve all been there, scrolling through social media, looking at someone else’s highlight reel, and feeling a pang of inadequacy.

Suddenly, you feel the urge to do more, be more, just to keep up.

If this resonates with you, it could mean that you’re subconsciously trying to impress people who aren’t crucial in your life.

Comparison is a natural human tendency, but it can also lead us down a destructive path if not kept in check.

Here’s something I want you to remember: You are unique, and there’s no one else in this world quite like you.

Your journey is different from others, and that’s what makes it beautiful.

Next time the comparison bug bites, take a step back and remind yourself of your own worth.

Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they seem. Practice gratitude for the path you’re on.

And most importantly, remember that you’re doing just fine at your own pace.

7) You’re not true to yourself

This is perhaps the most telling sign.

If you constantly find yourself pretending to be someone you’re not, changing your opinions to match others, or hiding your true self out of the fear of being judged, you’re likely trying to impress people who aren’t important in your life.

Being true to yourself is not only liberating but also key to building genuine relationships.

Embrace your quirks, your passions, your strengths, and even your flaws.

They make you who you are.

And remember, the people who truly matter will love and appreciate the real you.

The takeaway

If you’ve recognized yourself in these signs, take heart. This isn’t about self-criticism, but self-awareness.

You’re not alone, and this doesn’t define you.

The first step to change is recognizing the pattern. And you’ve done that. Now it’s time for action.

Take small steps. Say ‘no’ when you want to.

Speak your mind even if it’s uncomfortable. Be true to yourself, even if it feels risky.

Your worth isn’t defined by others’ approval but by your own acceptance of self.

You don’t have to impress anyone.

In the words of Bernard Baruch, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Here’s to authenticity, to being unapologetically you. Here’s to impressing the one person who truly matters – You.

Take a moment, breathe in this newfound self-awareness, and step forward into a life where you are enough just as you are.