The people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our lives. They can lift us up, push us forward, and make us better—or they can drain our energy and hold us back.

Sometimes, it’s hard to see when certain relationships aren’t adding any real value. We get used to them, we make excuses, and before we know it, we’re stuck in a cycle that doesn’t serve us.

But the truth is, the right people challenge us, support us, and help us grow. If that’s not happening, it might be time to take a step back and reevaluate.

Here are eight signs you may be surrounding yourself with people who aren’t truly adding value to your life.

1) They only take, but never give

Some people are always there when they need something—but nowhere to be found when you do.

They ask for favors, lean on you for support, and expect you to show up for them. But when the roles are reversed? Silence.

Healthy relationships—whether friendships, family, or colleagues—are built on mutual support. If you’re constantly giving without ever receiving, it’s a sign that this person isn’t adding real value to your life.

Your time and energy are valuable. Make sure you’re spending them on people who truly appreciate and reciprocate them.

2) You feel drained after spending time with them

I used to have a friend I’d meet up with regularly, and every time we hung out, I left feeling exhausted. Not just physically tired, but emotionally drained—like all my energy had been sucked out of me.

At first, I ignored it. I told myself I was just having an off day or that maybe I was overthinking things. But after a while, I realized it was a pattern.

Our conversations were always one-sided, filled with negativity, and somehow, I always ended up playing the role of therapist.

That’s when it hit me: some people don’t add to your life—they just take from it. And if you constantly feel worse after spending time with someone, that’s a major red flag.

The right people should leave you feeling inspired, supported, or at the very least, comfortable being yourself. If that’s not happening, it might be time to rethink the relationship.

3) They don’t celebrate your successes

Pay attention to how people react when something good happens in your life. Do they cheer you on, or do they go quiet?

Jealousy and insecurity can prevent some people from being genuinely happy for others. Instead of celebrating your wins, they downplay them, change the subject, or even make passive-aggressive comments.

Research has shown that one of the strongest indicators of a healthy relationship—whether romantic, platonic, or professional—is how well someone responds to your success. If the people around you can’t be happy for you, it might be because they don’t truly want to see you thrive.

The best relationships are built on mutual support. You deserve to be surrounded by people who lift you up, not those who feel threatened by your growth.

4) You can’t be yourself around them

The right people make you feel comfortable being yourself. You don’t have to filter your thoughts, watch every word you say, or pretend to be someone you’re not.

But if you constantly feel like you have to shrink yourself, put on a mask, or walk on eggshells, that’s a problem. Maybe they judge your opinions, dismiss your feelings, or make you feel like you’re “too much” or “not enough.”

Over time, this kind of environment can wear you down. Instead of feeling accepted, you start to question yourself, second-guess your words, and hold back parts of who you really are.

The people who add real value to your life will appreciate you for who you are—not for who they want you to be.

5) They only show up when it’s convenient for them

Everyone gets busy—life happens. But there’s a difference between someone who has a lot on their plate and someone who only makes time for you when it suits them.

Real friendships and meaningful connections aren’t built on convenience. They’re built on consistency, effort, and showing up even when it’s not easy.

Think about the people in your life. Do they reach out just when they need something? Do they disappear when you’re the one who could use support? Do they only make plans when it benefits them?

You deserve relationships that feel steady, not one-sided. The people who truly care about you will make time—not just when they need you, but because they value you.

6) You feel lonely even when you’re with them

There’s a certain kind of loneliness that comes from being surrounded by the wrong people. You’re not physically alone, but you still feel unseen, unheard, and disconnected.

You laugh at the right moments, nod along to conversations, and play your part—but deep down, there’s an emptiness. It’s the kind of loneliness that makes you question if anyone really knows you at all.

Being around people who don’t truly add value to your life can feel even lonelier than being by yourself. Because real connection isn’t about just having company—it’s about feeling understood, appreciated, and valued for who you are.

If you’ve ever felt this way, it might be a sign that you’re holding onto relationships that no longer serve you. And letting go of the wrong people is sometimes the only way to make space for those who truly see you.

7) They bring more drama than peace

Life is challenging enough without constantly being pulled into unnecessary drama. Yet, some people seem to thrive on chaos—stirring up conflict, gossiping about others, or making every situation more complicated than it needs to be.

At first, it might seem harmless. Maybe it even adds some excitement. But over time, the stress of constant negativity takes a toll. Instead of feeling at ease around them, you find yourself anxious, caught up in conflicts that aren’t yours, or drained by their endless problems.

The people in your life should bring you a sense of calm, not constant tension. Relationships should feel like a safe space—not a never-ending cycle of stress and drama. If someone is always pulling you into their storms, it might be time to step away and protect your peace.

8) You wouldn’t choose them if you met them today

If you met this person for the first time today, knowing what you know now, would you still choose to have them in your life?

Sometimes, we hold onto relationships simply because of history. We tell ourselves that time and shared experiences are reason enough to keep someone around, even when they no longer bring anything meaningful to our lives.

But people change. You change. And not everyone is meant to stay forever.

The people who truly add value to your life should be those you’d choose again—not just those you keep around out of habit.

Bottom line: The people around you shape your life

The relationships in your life aren’t just a background detail—they influence your happiness, mindset, and even your future.

Psychologist Dr. David McClelland suggested that the people you surround yourself with can determine as much as 95% of your success or failure in life. If that’s true, then choosing the right people isn’t just important—it’s essential.

The right relationships will challenge you, support you, and help you grow. The wrong ones will leave you drained, stuck, or doubting yourself.

At the end of the day, you get to decide who deserves a place in your life. Choose wisely.