The people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our mindset, motivation, and success. They can lift us up, challenge us, and push us to grow—or they can hold us back without us even realizing it.

Sometimes, it’s subtle. A dismissive comment here, a lack of support there. Other times, it’s more obvious—constant negativity, discouragement, or resistance to change.

And according to psychology, the wrong people in your circle can seriously limit your personal and professional growth.

So how do you know if the people around you are helping you move forward or keeping you stuck?

Here are 10 signs that your environment might be holding you back.

1) They discourage your ambitions

Have you ever shared an exciting idea or goal with someone, only to have them immediately point out why it won’t work? Maybe they laugh it off, change the subject, or list all the reasons you shouldn’t even try.

At first, it might seem like they’re just being realistic. But over time, constant discouragement can chip away at your confidence and make you second-guess yourself.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

If the people around you are always pulling you toward safety—telling you to settle instead of strive—it could be a sign they’re holding you back.

Supportive people challenge you in a way that helps you grow. They might ask tough questions or offer constructive feedback, but their goal is to help—not to shut you down before you even start.

2) They make you feel guilty for wanting more

I remember a time when I was excited about taking a big step in my career. I had an opportunity to move to a new city, take on more responsibility, and really push myself. But when I shared the news with some of the people around me, their reactions weren’t what I expected.

Instead of support, I got guilt. “You’re really going to leave us behind?” “You’ve changed.” “Why can’t you just be happy with what you have?”

At first, I felt selfish for wanting more. But then I realized something: people who truly want the best for you won’t make you feel bad for growing.

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” Growth requires change, and not everyone will be comfortable with it—especially if it forces them to look at their own choices.

But real friends and supporters will celebrate your progress, not try to hold you back with guilt.

3) They don’t celebrate your wins

Have you ever achieved something you were really proud of—only to have the people around you brush it off like it was nothing? Or worse, respond with jealousy or silence instead of excitement?

It hurts.

I’ve been there. I remember working hard for something, finally reaching my goal, and expecting my friends to cheer me on. Instead, I got half-hearted congratulations, quick subject changes, or even passive-aggressive comments. That was the moment I realized not everyone in your life actually wants to see you succeed.

Psychologist Alfred Adler once said, “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” And the truth is, some people struggle to be happy for others because your success reminds them of what they haven’t done. It’s not always about you—it’s about their own fears and insecurities.

But here’s the thing: real supporters will celebrate with you. They won’t see your success as a threat—they’ll see it as proof that growth is possible.

If the people around you can’t be happy for you, it might be time to find people who can.

4) They downplay your problems

We all go through tough times. But have you ever opened up to someone about something difficult, only for them to brush it off? Maybe they say, “It’s not that bad,” or, “Other people have it worse.” Instead of support, you get dismissal.

I’ve had conversations where I walked away feeling worse than before—like my struggles didn’t matter. And over time, that kind of response teaches you to keep things to yourself. To stop asking for help. To believe that your feelings aren’t valid.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

If the people around you constantly minimize what you’re going through, it can make you bury emotions instead of dealing with them. And that only leads to more frustration and self-doubt. Supportive people don’t have to fix your problems, but they should at least acknowledge them.

If someone consistently makes you feel like your struggles don’t matter, they might not be the right person to have in your corner.

5) They agree with you too much

It sounds nice, right? Having people around you who always nod along, tell you you’re right, and never challenge your ideas. But here’s the truth—constant agreement isn’t support. It’s stagnation.

I used to think that if someone always agreed with me, it meant they had my back. But over time, I realized that real growth comes from being challenged.

From having people in your life who push you to see things differently, who call you out when needed, and who aren’t afraid to tell you the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable.

If the people around you never challenge your thinking, you’re not learning—you’re just staying in the same place. The right people won’t just tell you what you want to hear; they’ll tell you what you need to hear. And that’s what helps you grow.

6) They make you doubt yourself

Confidence is fragile. It doesn’t take much for self-doubt to creep in—especially when the people around you are constantly making you question yourself.

Maybe they say things like, “Are you sure you can handle that?” or “I don’t think that’s really your thing.” At first, it might seem like they’re just being cautious. But over time, these little comments add up, and suddenly, you’re second-guessing your abilities, your dreams, and even your own instincts.

Psychologist Lev Vygotsky once said, “Through others, we become ourselves.” The people we surround ourselves with shape how we see the world—and how we see ourselves. When you’re constantly around people who plant seeds of doubt, it’s easy to start believing them.

Supportive people don’t make you shrink. They encourage you to step up, take risks, and trust yourself. If the people in your life make you feel smaller instead of stronger, it might be time to rethink who you’re listening to.

7) They don’t respect your boundaries

I used to struggle with setting boundaries. Any time I tried to say no or protect my time, certain people would push back—hard. “Come on, don’t be like that.” “Why are you acting different?” “It’s not a big deal.”

At first, I thought maybe I was being too rigid. But then I realized something: people who truly respect you will also respect your limits. Those who don’t? They benefit from you having none.

When we let people repeatedly ignore our boundaries, we teach them that it’s okay to do so. And over time, that can leave us drained, frustrated, and stuck in patterns that limit our growth.

The right people will honor your boundaries because they value you—not just what they can get from you. If someone constantly pushes past your limits, it’s worth asking yourself if they really belong in your life.

8) They make you feel alone, even when you’re with them

There’s a certain kind of loneliness that hits differently—the kind where you’re surrounded by people, but still feel completely unseen.

I’ve been in rooms full of familiar faces and still felt like I didn’t belong. My thoughts, my goals, and the things that mattered to me weren’t really understood or valued.

Conversations stayed surface-level. Deep talks felt impossible. And any time I tried to express something real, it was met with indifference or awkward silence.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “We fear our highest possibilities. We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments.”

Sometimes, the people around you don’t engage with your growth because it forces them to confront their own fears and limitations. It’s easier for them to keep things shallow than to explore something deeper.

But the right people make you feel seen, heard and understood. If you constantly feel alone in the company of others, it might not be you—it might be that you’re in the wrong company.

9) They support you—but only to a point

Not all unsupportive people are obvious. Some will clap for you—just as long as you don’t outgrow them.

I once had a friend who cheered me on when I made small moves, but the moment I aimed higher, the energy shifted. The encouragement turned into backhanded compliments, subtle jabs, and warnings like, “Don’t get ahead of yourself.” It was as if my growth was fine—as long as it didn’t challenge their own comfort zone.

Psychologist Leon Festinger developed the theory of cognitive dissonance—the idea that when people are faced with information that challenges their self-image, they experience discomfort and try to resolve it. Sometimes, that means downplaying your success so they don’t have to question their own choices.

Real support doesn’t come with limits. The right people won’t just cheer for your small wins—they’ll stand by you when you go after something bigger, even if it forces them to reflect on their own path. If someone only supports you when it’s convenient for them, that’s not real support at all.

10) They don’t inspire you

I used to think that as long as the people around me weren’t dragging me down, everything was fine. But over time, I realized something was missing—I wasn’t being lifted up either. Conversations felt repetitive.

No one around me was pushing themselves, taking risks, or striving for more. And without realizing it, I started playing small too.

Psychologist William James once said, “We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.” The people in our lives influence us in ways we don’t always notice. If you surround yourself with people who stay in their comfort zones, it becomes easier to stay in yours.

The right people don’t just support your growth—they inspire it. They challenge you with new ideas, open your mind to different perspectives, and make you want to be better just by being around them.

If no one in your circle makes you feel that way, it might be time to expand it.