Dealing with a narcissist can be tricky. They thrive on attention, admiration, and feeling in control—so if you’re not careful, even the smallest interaction can turn into a power struggle.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to fight them. Sometimes, the best way to keep the peace (or even get what you want) is to speak their language.

Psychology shows that certain phrases can instantly get a narcissist on your good side—without feeding into their ego too much.

Whether it’s at work, in a relationship, or just navigating everyday life, knowing what to say can make all the difference.

Here are eight simple yet powerful phrases to help you handle a narcissist with ease.

1) “You’re really good at that”

If there’s one thing a narcissist craves, it’s validation. They want to feel special, admired, and superior to those around them.

That’s why a simple compliment—especially one that highlights their skills or intelligence—can go a long way in getting on their good side.

Research shows that narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, and they’re drawn to people who reinforce that belief.

By acknowledging something they do well (even if it’s small), you’re giving them the recognition they seek.

Just be careful not to overdo it. If your praise sounds fake or exaggerated, they’ll see right through it—and may even turn against you.

2) “I’d love to get your opinion on this”

Narcissists love feeling like the smartest person in the room. So one of the quickest ways to get on their good side is to ask for their opinion.

I once had a boss who had a huge ego. No matter what the conversation was about, he always had to be the expert. At first, I found it frustrating—he rarely listened and always made it about him.

But then I realized something: if I framed my ideas as questions and asked for his input, he instantly became more agreeable.

Instead of saying, “I think we should do it this way,” I started saying, “What do you think about this approach?” Just like that, he was more open to my ideas—because now he felt like the authority.

Giving a narcissist the chance to share their wisdom makes them feel important, which can make your interactions much smoother.

3) “I can see why you’d feel that way”

Narcissists don’t just want to be admired—they also want to be understood. When their opinions or feelings are challenged, they can become defensive or even aggressive.

That’s why acknowledging their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it, can help keep things calm.

Studies show that narcissists have a heightened sensitivity to criticism, often reacting with anger or even lashing out when they feel attacked.

But when you validate their emotions, they’re more likely to stay receptive and engaged in the conversation.

A simple phrase like “I can see why you’d feel that way” reassures them that their thoughts matter. And once they feel heard, they may be more open to seeing your side as well.

4) “I appreciate what you did”

Narcissists thrive on recognition. They want to be admired not just for who they are, but for what they do. Giving them credit—even for small things—feeds their need for validation and keeps them in a positive mindset.

Unlike most people, narcissists aren’t always satisfied with a simple “thank you.” They want to feel like their actions are noticed and valued.

Saying “I appreciate what you did” makes your gratitude more personal and meaningful, which strengthens your connection with them.

When a narcissist feels appreciated, they’re more likely to see you as an ally rather than someone they need to compete with or control.

5) “I know how much effort you put into this”

Narcissists want to be admired, but more than that, they want to feel like their hard work and talents don’t go unnoticed. Deep down, many of them are constantly seeking reassurance that they are exceptional.

Acknowledging their effort—not just the outcome—can be incredibly powerful. It tells them that you see the dedication behind what they do, not just the final result.

Everyone, narcissist or not, wants to feel like their hard work matters.

Saying “I know how much effort you put into this” shows that you recognize their commitment. And when people feel truly seen, they’re far more likely to let their guard down and respond with kindness.

6) “I couldn’t have done it without you”

There’s something powerful about letting someone know they made a real difference. Narcissists, in particular, want to feel indispensable—they want to know that their presence and actions truly matter.

I remember a time when I was overwhelmed with a difficult project, unsure if I could pull everything together in time.

A colleague stepped in with advice and support, and while they had their own reasons for helping, their confidence made all the difference.

When it was done, I told them, “I couldn’t have done it without you.” Their entire demeanor shifted—they stood taller, smiled wider.

For a narcissist, hearing these words reinforces their belief that they are important and valuable. And when they feel valued, they are much more likely to treat you well in return.

7) “You have a unique perspective”

Narcissists want to stand out. They don’t just want to be good at something—they want to be different, special, one of a kind.

Recognizing their uniqueness, especially when it comes to their thoughts and ideas, plays directly into that need.

Saying “You have a unique perspective” tells them that their way of thinking is not just valid, but distinct from everyone else’s. It reassures them that they bring something to the table that no one else can.

And the truth is, everyone does have a unique way of seeing the world. Pointing that out makes people feel valued—narcissist or not.

8) “I respect that about you”

More than anything, narcissists want respect. They want to be seen as capable, important, and worthy of admiration. When you acknowledge something about them that you genuinely respect, it fulfills that deep need.

Respect goes beyond flattery—it carries weight. While compliments can sometimes feel shallow or transactional, respect is about recognizing someone’s qualities in a meaningful way.

Whether it’s their confidence, determination, or ability to take charge, pointing it out strengthens your connection with them.

Saying “I respect that about you” gives them exactly what they’re looking for—without losing any of your own integrity.

Bottom line: Narcissists seek connection too

Narcissists are often seen as self-absorbed and difficult, but at their core, they have the same fundamental human need as everyone else: the desire to be recognized, valued, and understood.

Psychologists suggest that many narcissistic traits stem from deep-seated insecurities or a constant need for external validation.

While their ways of seeking connection may be intense or even frustrating, the underlying motivation is not so different from anyone else’s.

Using the right words doesn’t mean feeding into their ego—it means speaking in a way that makes interactions smoother and more productive.

A well-placed phrase can shift the dynamic from conflict to cooperation, from resistance to mutual respect.

And in the end, when people feel seen and heard, they are far more likely to respond in kind.