There’s a big difference between being confident in yourself and constantly seeking approval from others.

When you crave approval, it’s not always obvious—even to you. Instead of saying it outright, this need often slips into your words and how you communicate.

Psychology shows that certain phrases can reveal this craving, even if you don’t realize it. These aren’t bad or intentional—they’re just subtle ways people try to feel validated or accepted in social situations.

Here are 10 phrases people who silently crave approval use without realizing it, according to psychology.

1) “I just want to make sure…”

One of the most common phrases people who crave approval use is, “I just want to make sure…”

It might sound harmless, but it often signals a deeper need for reassurance. This phrase tends to pop up when someone is uncertain about their choices or actions and wants validation from others.

By seeking confirmation, they’re indirectly asking, “Is this okay? Am I doing this right?”

For those who silently seek approval, the challenge is learning to trust their own judgment instead of looking outward for acceptance.

If you catch yourself or others saying this phrase often, it might be worth reflecting on whether it’s coming from a place of self-doubt. Recognizing this habit is the first step toward building more self-assurance.

2) “Does that make sense?”

I used to say this all the time without even realizing it. During work meetings or conversations with friends, I’d explain my thoughts and then immediately follow up with, “Does that make sense?”

On the surface, it seemed like I was just being polite, but deep down, it was really about seeking approval.

Looking back, I wasn’t asking if my explanation was clear—I was asking if I sounded smart or capable enough. I wanted people to validate me by saying, “Yes, of course!”

It was a subtle way of fishing for reassurance because I doubted myself.

Psychologist Alfred Adler once said, “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” This quote always reminds me that everyone struggles with insecurities in their own way.

If you’ve ever found yourself overusing this phrase, ask yourself: Am I genuinely checking for clarity, or am I looking for approval?

It’s an eye-opening distinction that can help you start trusting your voice more.

3) “Sorry, I just thought…”

Anytime I shared an idea, made a suggestion, or even asked a question, I felt the need to soften it with, “Sorry, I just thought…”

It’s like I was apologizing for existing—for speaking up at all. The truth?

I was terrified of being judged. Deep down, I thought if I didn’t phrase things carefully—or if my idea wasn’t perfect—people would think less of me.

Saying “sorry” was my way of downplaying myself so no one could criticize me too harshly. But honestly, it just made me seem smaller than I actually was.

If you catch yourself starting sentences with “Sorry, I just thought…”, ask yourself: Are you actually sorry?

Because most of the time, you’re probably not—and you don’t need to be. You deserve to take up space without apologizing for it.

4) “I don’t want to bother you, but…”

This one used to be my go-to anytime I needed help.

Whether it was asking a coworker for clarification or texting a friend for advice, I’d always start with, “I don’t want to bother you, but…”

It seemed polite at the time, but looking back, it was just another way I tried to minimize my presence. What I was really saying was, “I’m afraid of being a burden. Please don’t think less of me for needing something.”

I didn’t trust that my needs were valid or that others wouldn’t mind helping me. So instead of just asking directly, I’d preface everything with this overly careful disclaimer.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow, known for his hierarchy of needs, once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

When I became aware of how often I used this phrase—and why—I realized it wasn’t about politeness. It was about fear. Fear that my worth was tied to how “low maintenance” I could be.

5) “Oh, I don’t mind—whatever works for you!”

This one might seem harmless or even generous at first. After all, what’s wrong with being flexible and easygoing?

But for me, this phrase wasn’t about being considerate—it was about avoiding conflict and making sure everyone liked me. It felt safer to go along with what others wanted rather than risk expressing my own preferences.

It’s counterintuitive, but saying “I don’t mind” too often can actually chip away at your confidence. Over time, it teaches you to ignore your own needs and opinions altogether.

Now, I try to remind myself that it’s okay to have preferences—and that voicing them doesn’t make me difficult; it makes me authentic.

6) “I’m fine, don’t worry about it…”

This one is tricky because it sounds strong and self-sufficient on the surface.

But when I used to say it, it rarely came from a place of true confidence. Instead, it was my way of brushing off my own feelings or needs because I didn’t want to seem “needy” or inconvenient to others.

Deep down, I hoped someone would notice that I wasn’t really fine—that they’d push past my words and show me I mattered.

But the truth is, people usually take you at face value.

By constantly saying “I’m fine,” I was teaching others to overlook me—and worse, I was teaching myself that my emotions weren’t worth addressing.

7) “Do you think that’s okay?”

This phrase used to tumble out of my mouth constantly.

Whether it was about a decision I made at work, a text I sent, or even an outfit I picked, I’d ask someone else, “Do you think that’s okay?”

On the surface, it seemed like I was just seeking a second opinion. But in reality, I was outsourcing my self-worth.

Psychologist Albert Bandura, known for his work on self-efficacy, once said, “People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities.”

By constantly asking others if something was “okay,” I was reinforcing my own doubt and chipping away at my confidence.

8) “I was just trying to…”

If someone questioned something I said or did, I’d immediately jump in with, “I was just trying to…”

It felt like I needed to explain myself, defend my intentions, and prove that I wasn’t wrong—or worse, that I wasn’t a bad person.

But here’s the raw truth: I wasn’t explaining because someone needed clarity. I was explaining because deep down, I was terrified of disappointing people.

Over time, I learned that not everything needs an explanation. Sometimes people will misunderstand you, and that’s okay. You don’t have to prove yourself every time someone raises an eyebrow.

9) “I don’t need anyone’s approval.”

This one sounds like confidence, right?

Saying “I don’t care what anyone thinks” or “I don’t need anyone’s approval” feels like a power move.  But for me—and for a lot of people—it wasn’t strength. It was a defense mechanism.

The truth is, when I used to say this, I was trying to convince myself. Deep down, I actually cared a lot about what people thought of me. I just didn’t want to admit it because that would mean facing how much my self-worth depended on others’ validation.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

When I started paying attention to why I felt the need to declare my indifference so loudly, I realized I wasn’t free from seeking approval—I was just pretending to be.

Real confidence doesn’t come from rejecting approval altogether; it comes from not needing it to feel worthy.

10) “Let me know if that’s okay…”

This phrase used to sneak into my emails and conversations all the time. It sounded polite and accommodating, but honestly, it was just a way to soften the blow of asserting myself.

What I was really saying was, “I hope this doesn’t upset you. Please tell me I didn’t cross a line.” It came from a fear of being “too much” or causing friction. Instead of standing firm in my decisions, I left the door wide open for others to validate (or invalidate) them.

Psychologist Nathaniel Branden, known for his work on self-esteem, once said, “No one is coming to rescue you from yourself; your life is in your hands.”

That quote hit me hard because I realized I was constantly looking for others to give me permission to own my choices.

Now, when I catch myself wanting to add “Let me know if that’s okay…”, I pause and think: Do I trust my decision?

If the answer is yes, then there’s no need for reassurance.

It’s been a small but powerful shift in learning to stand by my words without looking over my shoulder.