Have you ever felt like someone in your life thrives on attention and validation?

Maybe no matter what the conversation is about, it always seems to come back to them. Or they light up when they receive praise but shut down when the focus shifts elsewhere.

Narcissists crave constant reinforcement, and certain phrases feed into that need perfectly.

The tricky part? Sometimes, we don’t even realize we’re giving them exactly what they want.

Understanding the kinds of words that appeal to a narcissist can help you recognize these dynamics and navigate them more effectively.

Here are seven phrases that play right into their desire for validation and attention.

1) “You’re the best at what you do”

Narcissists love feeling superior, and this phrase feeds right into that.

Telling them they’re the best reinforces their belief that they’re special and more talented than everyone else.

While compliments are great in healthy relationships, with a narcissist, this kind of praise can fuel their need for constant admiration.

They might start expecting this validation regularly—and even seeking it out when it’s not given freely.

2) “I’ve never met anyone like you”

I used to say this to someone in my life, genuinely believing it was a compliment.

And in a way, it was—but I didn’t realize how much they thrived on hearing it.

Every time I said it, their face lit up. They’d lean in, waiting for me to explain why they were so unique, so different from everyone else.

At first, it felt harmless. But over time, I noticed how much they relied on this kind of validation. If I didn’t constantly reinforce their “one-of-a-kind” status, they’d fish for it—or worse, sulk until I did.

Narcissists crave feeling special, and this phrase gives them exactly that.

3) “I don’t know what I’d do without you”

Narcissists don’t just want to be admired—they want to feel indispensable.

This phrase tells them exactly what they want to hear: that you rely on them, that they hold power in your life, that you need them.

I’ve said this before, thinking I was expressing gratitude. But with a narcissist, it didn’t just make them feel appreciated—it made them feel superior. They started acting like I couldn’t function without them, like I should constantly prove how much I valued them.

And when I stopped saying it as often? The guilt trips started. The silent treatment. The subtle reminders that I wasn’t as strong, as capable, as whole without them.

What seemed like a simple phrase became something they used to keep control.

4) “No one understands me like you do”

Narcissists love to feel like they have a special hold over you.

Telling them they’re the only one who truly “gets” you feeds into their need to feel important and irreplaceable. It makes them feel like they have a unique insight into your thoughts and emotions—something no one else can offer you.

The problem? They’ll use this to their advantage.

They might remind you of it when you challenge them, making you question your own judgment. They might use it to isolate you, convincing you that others don’t understand you the way they do.

What starts as a moment of connection can quickly become something they use to keep control.

5) “You always know exactly what to say”

Narcissists pride themselves on being charming, persuasive, and in control of any conversation.

Telling them they have a way with words only reinforces their belief that they’re more intelligent, more insightful, and more influential than others.

And they are often skilled communicators—many narcissists are naturally gifted at reading people and saying exactly what someone wants to hear. That’s part of what makes them so convincing.

But this ability isn’t always used with good intentions. They can twist words, manipulate emotions, and make you doubt yourself—all while making it seem effortless.

The more you reinforce their talent for communication, the more they’ll use it to their advantage.

6) “I know you don’t mean to hurt me”

It’s natural to want to see the best in people.

When someone you care about says or does something hurtful, you might try to soften it—convince yourself that they didn’t mean it, that deep down, they have a good heart.

But with a narcissist, this kind of reassurance only enables their behavior.

They don’t often take responsibility for their actions. If anything, hearing this gives them a free pass. It tells them you’ll excuse their behavior, that you’ll rationalize the pain they cause.

Everyone makes mistakes, but accountability matters. And with a narcissist, waiting for genuine remorse can feel like waiting for something that will never come.

7) “I wish I could be more like you”

This is the ultimate fuel for a narcissist’s ego.

It tells them they’re not just admired—they’re idealized. That who they are is something to aspire to, something others should strive for.

And that’s exactly how they want to be seen. Special. Superior. Untouchable.

But the truth is, narcissists often build their identity on a carefully crafted illusion—one that hides deep insecurity underneath.

The more you feed into that illusion, the more power you give them over how you see yourself.

The bottom line

Narcissists thrive on validation, and the words we choose can either feed that need or help us set boundaries.

Recognizing these phrases isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness. When we understand how language plays into a narcissist’s desire for attention, we can be more intentional with what we say and how we engage.

It’s not your job to keep someone’s ego inflated. You don’t have to offer constant reassurance or admiration just to maintain peace. Healthy relationships aren’t built on one-sided validation—they’re built on mutual respect and understanding.

Pay attention to how certain interactions make you feel. Do you leave feeling drained? Like your words are being used against you? Like your needs are always second?

Your voice matters, just as much as theirs. And the more you recognize these patterns, the more control you regain over your own narrative.