Communication is a tricky business.

We all think we’re pretty good at it, but according to psychology, there are certain phrases that can actually hamper our message.

These phrases are often used by poor communicators in everyday conversations, and they can make interactions frustrating for all involved.

Let’s pull back the curtain on these communication culprits.

Here’s a look at seven phrases that can trip us up in our daily chats—according to psychology, of course.

Remember, being aware of them is the first step to improving your communication game:

1) “You know what I mean?”

Communication is a two-way street, but poor communicators often forget this.

One phrase that highlights this forgetfulness is “You know what I mean?”

This phrase shifts the responsibility of understanding from the speaker to the listener, making for an unbalanced and frustrating conversation.

It assumes that the listener is on the same page, without giving them any chance to clarify or ask questions.

This phrase perfectly encapsulates that illusion.

By asking “You know what I mean?” the speaker is assuming that their message has been clearly understood, when in reality, it may not have been.

It’s a common pitfall in everyday conversations—but being aware of it and taking the time to ensure your message is clear can greatly improve your communication skills.

2) “Whatever.”

We’ve all been there.

In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to slip into dismissive phrases like “whatever.”

I remember a time when I was discussing plans for a group project.

As we argued about the best approach, I found myself uttering that one word – “whatever.”

The moment I said it, the conversation stalled.

It was clear that my dismissive attitude had belittled my teammates’ opinions.

“Whatever” is a conversation killer.

It sends a message that you’re not interested in understanding or resolving the issue at hand; it shows a lack of respect for the other person’s viewpoint and can easily fuel conflict rather than resolution.

Dismissive phrases like “whatever” clearly highlight a poor attitude towards communication, making it one of the key phrases poor communicators often use.

3) “I don’t care!”

Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person simply says, “I don’t care?” It’s a gut punch, isn’t it?

“I don’t care” is a phrase that can quickly deflate any conversation.

It’s dismissive, it’s hurtful and it certainly doesn’t encourage open and honest dialogue.

Instead, it builds a wall between the speaker and the listener, pushing them further apart.

“I don’t care” sends a clear message: Your thoughts, feelings, or opinions are not important to me.

It’s a raw and brutally honest phrase, but one that does more harm than good in any conversation.

Perhaps those who frequently use the phrase “I don’t care” are revealing more about their own insecurities or lack of empathy than they realize.

Being aware of this can help us improve our communication skills and foster better connections.

4) “I knew that already…”

The phrase “I knew that already” is deceptively damaging.

It may seem harmless, even a little boastful, but it can seriously hinder the flow of conversation.

When you say, “I knew that already”, you’re shutting down the exchange of ideas.

You’re telling the other person, “I don’t need your input.”

It’s a defensive mechanism that can stifle learning and growth in a conversation.

People who claim to know everything are often perceived as less competent because they’re seen as less open to new experiences and less willing to learn from others.

The next time you’re tempted to say, “I knew that already”, ask yourself: Are you really demonstrating knowledge, or are you just shutting down the conversation?

5) “That’s just the way I am…”

I remember a friend who would often end arguments with the phrase, “That’s just the way I am.”

It was as if that statement excused any rude or hurtful behavior.

However, saying “That’s just the way I am” is not an excuse for poor communication.

Instead, it’s an indication of a person unwilling to grow or change.

This phrase is often used to justify a lack of empathy or understanding.

It’s a refusal to take responsibility for one’s actions and their impact on others.

Psychologist Carol Dweck, known for her work on “mindset”, explains that in a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits—they also believe that talent alone creates success without effort.

This mindset is clearly echoed in the phrase “That’s just the way I am”.

By recognizing and refusing this fixed mindset, we can become better communicators and more empathetic individuals.

6) “I’m fine.”

“I’m fine”—two words that seem innocuous but can actually cause a lot of damage in a conversation.

It’s counterintuitive, isn’t it?

How can such a seemingly harmless phrase be a sign of poor communication?

Well, “I’m fine” is often used as a mask, a way to hide true feelings or thoughts.

It’s a conversation stopper, preventing any deeper discussion or understanding.

Psychologist Dr. Susan David says, “Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.”

In her work, she emphasizes the importance of emotional honesty and the danger of denial.

Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not, is essentially denying your true feelings.

While it might seem harmless, “I’m fine” can actually stifle authentic communication and create a barrier in our relationships.

7) “No offense, but…”

“No offense, but…” is a phrase that’s often followed by something offensive.

It’s a passive-aggressive way of communicating, leaving the recipient feeling attacked rather than understood.

As renowned psychologist Dr. Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

This phrase is the epitome of unclear communication, masking criticism with faux-politeness.

Becoming aware of such phrases is the first step towards clear, kind, and effective communication.

Reflecting on communication

Our conversations shape our relationships.

They’re the threads that weave together our understanding of each other—it’s in these everyday exchanges that we truly reveal ourselves.

The phrases we’ve explored are more than just words.

They’re indicators of our attitudes, our willingness to listen, and our respect for the people we interact with.

Recognizing these phrases in our own speech is the first step towards becoming better communicators.

It’s about understanding that what we say, and how we say it, matters.

Closing the gap between intention and impact isn’t always easy, but it’s a journey worth embarking on.

Good communication is about more than just conveying a message—it’s about connecting with each other on a deeper level.