Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling small but couldn’t quite put your finger on why?

Narcissists have a way of twisting words to make you question yourself. At first, their comments might seem harmless—even caring. But over time, these phrases chip away at your confidence, making you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, and self-worth.

It’s not always easy to recognize when it’s happening. That’s why understanding the language narcissists use can be so powerful—it helps you reclaim control and see their tactics for what they really are.

Let’s break down seven common phrases they use to undermine you—so you can stop second-guessing yourself and stand strong in your own truth.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

Ever expressed how something made you feel, only to be told you’re overreacting?

Narcissists love using this phrase to dismiss your emotions. It’s a subtle way of making you doubt yourself—like your feelings aren’t valid or that you’re the problem for even bringing it up.

Over time, hearing this can make you second-guess your own emotions. You might start believing that you’re “too sensitive” and hesitate to speak up, even when something genuinely hurts you.

But here’s the truth: Your feelings are real, and they matter. Someone who truly cares about you won’t belittle your emotions—they’ll listen and try to understand.

2) “I never said that”

Have you ever been absolutely sure someone said something, only for them to flat-out deny it?

I remember confronting a former friend about a hurtful comment they made. I repeated their exact words, but they just shook their head and laughed. “I never said that. You’re imagining things.”

At first, I doubted myself. Maybe I had misheard? Maybe I was overreacting? But deep down, I knew the truth.

This is classic gaslighting. Narcissists use it to make you question your memory and perception of reality. The more it happens, the more you start relying on them to define what’s real—giving them even more control over you.

But trust yourself. If something felt off, it probably was. Your memory isn’t the issue—their manipulation is.

3) “No one else would put up with you”

This one cuts deep. And that’s exactly the point.

Narcissists want you to believe that they’re doing you a favor by being in your life. That you’re too difficult, too flawed, too much for anyone else to love or accept.

Maybe they say it during an argument, when you’re at your most vulnerable. Or maybe they slip it into a conversation casually, like a joke you’re not supposed to take seriously. But the message is always the same—you’re lucky they tolerate you.

And after hearing it enough times, you might start believing it. You might stay in situations that hurt you because you think no one else would want you.

But here’s the truth: Real love, real friendship, real connection isn’t about putting up with someone—it’s about valuing them. And if someone makes you feel unworthy of love, they’re the problem. Not you.

4) “You’re just being dramatic”

Say something bothers you? You’re overreacting. Feel hurt by their words? You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Try to stand up for yourself? Calm down.

Narcissists use this phrase to shut you down. It’s a way of making you feel like your emotions are excessive, irrational—even embarrassing. And if they say it enough, you might start believing it. You might stop speaking up altogether, afraid of being seen as “too much.”

But here’s the thing: You’re allowed to have feelings. You’re allowed to express them. And anyone who truly cares about you won’t dismiss your emotions—they’ll listen.

5) “You’re lucky I put up with you”

This isn’t love. This isn’t care. This is control.

Narcissists use this phrase to make you feel indebted to them, as if their presence in your life is some kind of act of charity. They want you to believe that without them, you’d be alone—that no one else would tolerate you.

But here’s something worth knowing: Studies show that emotionally abusive relationships can trigger the same chemical responses in the brain as addiction. The cycle of being torn down and then momentarily lifted up keeps you hooked, making it even harder to walk away.

And that’s exactly what they want.

But love isn’t about tolerating someone—it’s about appreciating them. And you don’t need to “earn” someone’s love by enduring their mistreatment.

6) “You’re impossible to love”

No one deserves to hear this. No one.

But narcissists say it anyway—not because it’s true, but because they want you to believe it is. They want to plant that seed of doubt, to make you think that love is something you have to fight for, something you have to prove yourself worthy of.

If you’ve ever been told this, I need you to know something: It’s a lie.

You are not hard to love. You are not too much. The right people—the ones who truly care—won’t make you beg for their kindness. They’ll give it freely, because that’s what love is supposed to be.

7) “Everyone agrees with me”

They want you to feel outnumbered. Isolated. Like you’re the only one who sees a problem—because if everyone agrees with them, then maybe they’re right, and you’re wrong.

But here’s the truth: They don’t have a secret group of people who think less of you. They just want you to believe they do. It’s a manipulation tactic designed to make you doubt yourself and depend on them even more.

You don’t need their version of reality to define your own. Trust what you know. Trust what you feel. That’s enough.

The bottom line

If any of these phrases sound familiar, know this: You are not imagining things. You are not being too sensitive. And you are not alone.

Narcissists rely on confusion and self-doubt to keep control, but awareness is the first step in breaking free. Once you recognize these tactics for what they are, they begin to lose their power.

Trust yourself. Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are real. And you deserve to be surrounded by people who uplift you, not those who make you question your worth.

Healing takes time, but every step toward self-trust is a step toward reclaiming your confidence. Keep going. You are stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.