Being a grandparent isn’t just about spoiling your grandkids with treats and toys. It’s a unique role that requires a mix of wisdom, love, and a dash of fun!

You see, according to psychology, there are certain personality traits that can elevate someone from being a good grandparent to an amazing one.

It’s not all about how much time you spend with your grandchildren or the number of gifts you shower them with.

In this piece, I’ll be sharing the seven key traits that psychology tells us make someone an exceptional grandparent.

Whether you’re already a grandparent, or you’re preparing for the day when you’ll hold your first grandchild in your arms, this article is for you.

Come along on this journey of love, patience, and understanding, and discover what it truly takes to be an amazing grandparent.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1) Empathy reigns supreme

Let’s start with the heart of the matter. The ability to truly understand and share the feelings of another is what we call empathy, and it’s a crucial trait for any grandparent.

Remember, the world of a child is vastly different from ours. Their joys, fears, challenges…they all exist in a realm that we, as adults, might have forgotten. That’s where empathy comes in.

As grandparents, stepping into your grandchild’s shoes, seeing the world through their eyes can make a world of difference. It allows you to connect with them on a deeper level, guiding them not just as an elder, but as a friend.

Imagine being a beacon of comfort in their times of distress or being the cheerleader in their moments of triumph. That’s the power of empathy.

If you’re aiming to be an exceptional grandparent, embracing empathy is your first step. It’s not always easy, but boy, is it worth it!

2) Patience truly is a virtue

As a grandparent, I can’t stress enough how important patience is. It’s one of those virtues that gets tested quite often when dealing with the boundless energy and curiosity of grandchildren.

I remember one time when my grandson decided to turn our living room into his art studio.

Let’s just say, the walls became his canvas! Now, it would have been quite easy to lose my cool, but instead, I decided to channel my inner patience.

I gently explained why walls aren’t the right place for his creative expression and directed him towards paper and canvas. It took a bit of time and a lot of deep breaths, but eventually, he understood. That day, patience won!

As grandparents, our reactions can deeply influence our grandkids. Patience allows us to guide them calmly towards understanding and growth.

The next time your grandchild tests your patience, remember, it’s not just about enduring the moment. It’s about molding their future in the gentlest way possible.

3) The ability to listen

Did you know that one of the most impactful things we can do for our grandkids is to simply listen to them?

Listening might seem like a passive activity, but it’s so much more. It’s about being fully present, showing our grandkids that their thoughts and feelings matter.

It’s about making them feel heard, validated, and understood, which is incredibly empowering for a young mind.

Renowned psychologist Stephen R. Covey said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

But as grandparents, we have the chance to change that narrative.

I’ll be honest. It’s not always easy. Sometimes, their stories might seem trivial or their problems insignificant. But remember, what may seem small to us can be monumental for them.

Listening opens up a channel of trust and respect between you and your grandchild. It shows them that their voice matters and that you’re there for them, no matter what.

Next time your grandchild wants to talk, take a moment. Clear away the distractions. Look them in the eye. And just listen. You’d be amazed at how much it means to them.

4) Flexibility is key

Life is unpredictable, and with kids around, it becomes even more so.

As grandparents, being able to adapt to changing situations and go with the flow not only reduces stress but also creates a relaxed environment for the grandchildren.

A study found that psychological flexibility, which includes adapting to shifts in demands and re-evaluating goals when necessary, significantly improved emotional well-being and reduced mental stress.

Grandchildren thrive in an environment where they feel secure yet free to explore and express.

Whether it’s a sudden change of plans due to bad weather or an unexpected emotional outburst from a grandchild, being flexible helps navigate these situations smoothly without dampening the child’s spirits.

Remember, it’s okay if things don’t go according to plan. Being able to laugh it off and adapt is a valuable lesson not just for you as a grandparent but also for your grandchild.

It shows them that it’s okay to be flexible, to adjust and adapt, a lesson they’ll carry for life.

5) The power of positivity

Ever noticed how a child’s face lights up when they’re around someone positive and happy? Positivity is infectious, especially when it comes to children.

As a grandparent, I’ve seen how my attitude can influence my grandchildren’s mood. Days when I greet them with a big smile and bubbly energy, I notice a clear difference in their excitement and engagement.

The famous psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl once said:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

This quote resonates deeply with me as a grandparent. We may not be able to control every situation we encounter with our grandkids, but we can control how we react to it.

Choosing positivity doesn’t mean ignoring problems or challenges. It means facing them with a hopeful mindset and teaching our grandchildren to do the same.

Embrace positivity. Laugh often, be silly, celebrate small victories and show your grandkids that life is more enjoyable when seen through a positive lens!

6) The art of saying no

This might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. As grandparents, we often want to shower our grandkids with love and…yeses. But sometimes, the best thing we can do for them is to say no.

Saying no teaches boundaries. It instills a sense of discipline and understanding that not everything they desire will be handed to them.

As difficult as it might be at times, it’s a vital lesson for their growth and development.

Dr. David Anderson, a psychologist at Columbia University, once said, “Being able to hear ‘no’ is a crucial life skill. It’s important for safety, for setting boundaries in relationships, and for healthy decision-making.”

Of course, this doesn’t mean saying no to everything. It’s about finding the right balance and ensuring that your ‘no’ is not just about denial but an opportunity for learning and growth.

Next time you find yourself hesitating to say no, remember that sometimes it’s the most loving thing you can do for your grandchild.

7) Unconditional love

At the heart of being an amazing grandparent is the ability to love unconditionally.

This type of love, unfettered by conditions or expectations, creates a bond that nurtures a child’s emotional growth. It gives them the security and confidence they need to explore, learn, and thrive.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, once said, “Children are completely egoistic; they feel their needs intensely and strive ruthlessly to satisfy them.”

But it’s through unconditional love that children learn the power of empathy, kindness, and consideration.

Shower your grandkids with love. Not for what they do or achieve but for who they are—because that’s what makes you an amazing grandparent.

Final reflections

Becoming a grandparent is one of life’s most rewarding experiences. It’s a chance to share your wisdom, experience, and love with a new generation. But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

The traits we’ve discussed – empathy, patience, listening, flexibility, positivity, the courage to say no, and unconditional love – they may seem simple on paper, but they take effort and practice.

Yet, when you look into your grandchild’s eyes and see the trust and love mirrored back at you, you realize that every moment of effort is worth it.

Being an amazing grandparent isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being there – with an open heart, a listening ear, and a loving embrace.

Embrace the journey with all its ups and downs. Because in the end, it’s not just about how much you love your grandchildren but also about how much they teach you about love.