7 personality traits of people who love criticizing others but hate being criticized themselves

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | February 17, 2025, 10:13 am

Have you ever been caught off-guard by someone who loves to dish out criticism but crumbles when it’s their turn in the hot seat?

Yes, we all know that one person with a knack for pointing out flaws, yet they can’t take a dose of their own medicine.

But wait a minute.

Let’s consider the why behind this. Could it be that specific personality traits make them behave this way?

Intriguing, right?

So, let’s dive in and explore the seven personality traits of people who love criticizing others but hate being criticized themselves.

It might just give us a better understanding of their behavior.

And hey, who knows?

Maybe this insight will help us communicate more effectively with them, turning those critical encounters into constructive conversations.

Now wouldn’t that be great?

1) They have a high need for control

Picture this.

You’re sitting in a meeting, presenting an idea you’ve worked on for weeks.

Suddenly, there’s that one person, quick to critique every minor detail. Why do they do this?

Well, it’s all about control.

People who love criticizing others often have a high need for control.

They tend to feel unsettled when things don’t go the way they planned or envisioned.

Hence, they criticize others to maintain a sense of control and order in their lives.

But here’s the catch.

When someone else critiques them, it disrupts their sense of control. Suddenly, they’re not the one driving the conversation anymore.

That’s why they recoil from criticism – it’s a threat to their perceived control.

Understanding this trait can help us approach these individuals more tactfully, keeping conversations productive rather than destructive.

2) They struggle with self-esteem issues

Let’s rewind to a few years back.

I had a colleague named John. Brilliant mind, but he had this uncanny ability to find faults in everyone else’s work – except his own.

When anyone tried to point out a potential area of improvement in his work, he’d become defensive.

See, John was battling self-esteem issues.

People who often criticize others but can’t accept criticism themselves are sometimes dealing with low self-esteem.

Criticizing others might make them feel superior and mask their insecurities.

But here’s the thing.

When they’re on the receiving end of criticism, it hits close to home.

It magnifies their insecurities, making them feel exposed and vulnerable. That’s why they don’t take criticism well.

Understanding this can help us empathize with them and handle situations better. After all, we all have our battles, don’t we?

3) They yearn for perfection

Have you ever tried to create something absolutely flawless? It’s like chasing a mirage, isn’t it?

This is exactly what happens with people who habitually criticize others but can’t digest criticism themselves.

These folks have an insatiable desire for perfection — both in themselves and in others.

The problem?

Perfection is elusive. It’s subjective and often unattainable.

These individuals end up setting high standards that are almost impossible to meet.

And it gets trickier.

When these high standards aren’t met, they resort to criticism — a way to communicate their disappointment or frustration.

But when they’re criticized?

It’s a blow to their quest for perfection, a stark reminder of their ‘imperfections’. It rattles them, making it difficult for them to accept the criticism.

Knowing this trait isn’t about pointing fingers but about understanding their perspective.

And who knows? This understanding might just be the key to better interactions.

4) They fear vulnerability

Let’s be honest, no one really likes to feel vulnerable, do they? It’s this raw, uncomfortable state where our imperfections are laid bare.

For people who love dishing out criticism but hate receiving it, this fear of vulnerability is amplified.

They use criticism as a shield, a way to deflect attention from their own shortcomings and vulnerabilities.

Sounds familiar?

By critiquing others, they create a narrative where they’re the ‘know-it-all’. This makes them feel safe and secure, away from the spotlight of scrutiny.

But criticism aimed at them?

That’s a whole different ball game. It peels away their protective shield, exposing their vulnerabilities.

And that’s something they dread.

Next time you deal with such individuals, remember this fear. It’s not about you, it’s about them protecting themselves.

And understanding this can make interactions a tad bit easier.

5) They’re wired for negativity

Believe it or not, some people are genetically predisposed to have a more negative outlook on life.

It’s as if their brains are wired to notice the bad more than the good.

When people love criticizing others but can’t stand criticism themselves, it might be this biological predisposition at play.

They’re quick to spot flaws and mistakes in others because their brains are simply wired that way.

But here’s the interesting part.

When the tables turn and criticism is directed at them, their negativity bias acts up.

It magnifies every critical word, making it feel much worse than it actually is.

It’s crucial to remember that we can’t change someone else’s biological wiring.

But we can change how we react to it. And sometimes, a little understanding goes a long way in doing just that.

6) They lack emotional intelligence

At some point in our lives, we’ve all struggled to understand and manage our emotions, haven’t we? It’s part of being human.

For people who love criticizing others but can’t handle criticism themselves, this struggle might be a little more pronounced.

They may lack emotional intelligence – the ability to recognize and understand emotions in themselves and others and use this awareness to manage their behavior and relationships.

When they criticize others, it’s possibly a way for them to express their feelings or frustrations.

However, they may not realize how it impacts the other person.

And when they receive criticism?

Since they struggle with understanding and managing their emotions, it can feel like an emotional tidal wave, overwhelming and hard to handle.

The next time you come across such individuals, remember this. They’re not trying to be difficult.

They’re trying to navigate an emotional landscape that might be a little more challenging for them.

Offering a little understanding can go a long way.

7) They cope through criticism

Ever tried to escape a problem by shifting focus elsewhere? We’ve all done it, right?

Well, for people who often criticize others but can’t handle criticism themselves, this is their coping mechanism.

They use criticism as a tool to shift attention away from their own issues and onto others.

When they criticize, it’s not just about finding faults. It’s a distraction, a way to avoid dealing with their own challenges or insecurities.

And when they’re criticized?

It’s a harsh reminder of the very issues they’re trying to escape.

That’s why they struggle to accept it.

Remember this the next time you encounter such behavior.

It might help you respond with more understanding and less frustration.

Reflection: understanding and empathy

Recognize any of these traits in people around you? Or perhaps, in yourself?

Nobody is perfect. We all have our quirks and coping mechanisms.

These traits don’t make anyone a ‘bad’ person. They’re simply part of the complex mosaic that makes us human.

So, what’s the takeaway here?

Understanding and empathy.

Once we understand these traits, it becomes easier to navigate interactions with people who display them.

Instead of reacting negatively to their criticism, we can respond with empathy and tact, turning potentially confrontational situations into opportunities for growth and understanding.

And if you recognize these traits in yourself?

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Self-awareness is the first step towards change.

With patience and consistent effort, these traits can be managed or even transformed into strengths.

In the end, it’s all about cultivating understanding, empathy and kindness – both towards others and towards ourselves.

After all, we’re all on this journey together, learning and growing each day.

Let’s make it a journey filled with compassion and understanding.