Aging well isn’t just about good genes or luck.

Sure, those things help. But if you spend enough time around folks in their 70s, 80s, and even 90s who are still thriving—mentally sharp, physically active, and emotionally light—you’ll start to notice a pattern.

It’s not just what they do that keeps them going. It’s also what they’ve let go of.

Now that I’m in my sixties myself, I’ve been paying closer attention. Some of the happiest older people I know aren’t necessarily wealthy or physically strong. But they’ve made peace with life in a way that frees them up to enjoy what’s left of it.

In this post, I want to share 8 habits that those people seem to have said goodbye to along the way. Some of them surprised me. Others felt like gentle reminders.

Let’s dive in.

1. Letting the past define the present

We all have stories—some good, some painful. But the people who carry lightness into old age are the ones who’ve stopped letting old stories control new chapters.

A neighbor of mine, Harold, used to bring this to life for me. He was in his eighties, and every afternoon he’d shuffle around the park with a slight limp and a smile that made strangers feel like old friends. One day, I asked him about the limp, and he casually mentioned an old war injury. “Taught me a lot about pain,” he said, “but more about perspective.”

He didn’t deny his past—but he didn’t live in it, either.

There’s power in learning how to visit the past without pitching a tent there.

2. Waiting for motivation to strike

One of the hardest things to accept as we get older is that motivation rarely shows up on schedule.

The people who stay physically active and mentally engaged in their 70s aren’t waiting for the “spark” to hit them. They’ve learned to move first and trust that the energy will follow.

For me, this often shows up in my morning walks. Some days my joints creak louder than my old garden gate. But I leash up my dog Lottie, take a deep breath, and go anyway. Almost without fail, I come back feeling better than when I left.

Happiness in later life doesn’t come from waiting for the mood to strike. It comes from doing the thing anyway.

3. Saying “I’m too old for that”

Few things age a person faster than this phrase.

Some time ago, I met a woman named Irene at a local community center. She was learning to play the ukulele. She was 77. She laughed when I asked her why she picked that particular hobby and said, “Because it fits in my suitcase.”

Turns out, she was planning a trip to Hawaii to visit her grandson and wanted to surprise him.

That spirit of “why not?” is contagious. It’s not about chasing youth—it’s about staying curious, staying open, and refusing to be boxed in by arbitrary rules about age.

People who continue to grow into their 70s and beyond tend to believe one thing very strongly: it’s never too late.

4. Keeping emotions bottled up

Let me tell you, it took me decades to learn how to talk about my feelings.

I grew up in a time when men weren’t exactly encouraged to “get in touch with their emotions.” You were supposed to tough it out, keep your chin up, and get on with it.

But all that emotional stuffing? It comes at a cost. Stress builds. Resentment simmers. Joy gets crowded out.

I’ve learned the value of open conversations. Whether it’s talking things out with my wife, venting to an old friend over coffee, or writing honestly in a journal—getting it out makes space for healing.

People who age well tend to be emotionally agile. They don’t carry every disappointment like a rock in their backpack. They name it, feel it, and move forward.

5. Hanging on to toxic relationships

This one can sting a little. Especially for those of us who grew up believing loyalty was everything.

But there’s a difference between loyalty and self-abandonment.

Years ago, I had a long-time friend who always seemed to leave me feeling drained. Conversations were one-sided. There was always some subtle jab about how I was “slowing down” or “getting soft.” I tolerated it out of habit—until I didn’t.

Letting go wasn’t easy. But once I did, I felt a quiet freedom I hadn’t realized I was missing.

The older folks I know who stay grounded and content aren’t interested in performing politeness. They value peace. And they make room only for relationships that return the favor.

6. Living without a sense of purpose

This one might be the most crucial.

When you no longer feel useful, it’s easy to start fading—not just physically, but emotionally.

Purpose doesn’t have to be grand. I’ve seen it in people who babysit their grandkids twice a week, those who tend to community gardens, and others who simply make it their mission to brighten someone’s day with a smile.

I write. Not because I’m chasing any kind of fame, but because it gives me structure. It lets me reflect. And hopefully, it helps a few folks along the way.

People who stay vibrant long after retirement often have some kind of “why.” It doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to matter to them.

7. Resisting change and clinging to “the good old days”

We’ve all heard someone say, “Things were better back then.”

And while there’s nothing wrong with nostalgia, it becomes a problem when it turns into bitterness.

The folks who stay mentally sharp and socially connected into old age are the ones who find ways to adapt. They don’t grumble about smartphones—they ask how to use them. They try new restaurants, listen to different genres of music, maybe even download an audiobook or two.

As one older friend once told me, “You don’t have to love every change. But you’ve got to stay curious.”

Curiosity, I’ve found, is one of the best anti-aging tools around.

8. Neglecting the basics—movement, rest, and nutrition

I’m the first to admit I don’t know everything, but I do know this: there’s no secret supplement that replaces walking, sleeping well, and eating food that loves you back.

A friend, George, is 81 and still rides his bike most mornings. Nothing intense, just a gentle ride to the bakery and back. He naps when he’s tired. Eats lots of vegetables. And drinks his coffee slow.

None of it sounds revolutionary, but the results are. He’s healthy. Energetic. Present.

The older folks I admire most don’t chase miracle cures. They take care of their bodies like it’s the only one they’ve got—which, of course, it is.

Final thoughts

If you’ve made it this far, I’ll leave you with a simple question: What habits are holding you back from enjoying life the way you want to?

You don’t need to overhaul everything at once. Start by letting go of one thing that no longer serves you. Just one.

A lighter life might be closer than you think.