If someone dominates the conversation, they may be self-absorbed. If they always steer the topic back to themselves, they might just lack self-awareness.

Welcome to the complexities of human interaction.

The truth is, some individuals are more self-centered in their discussions than others. While it’s not always easy to identify, these people tend to exhibit 8 specific behaviors, often without realizing it.

Let’s dive into the intricacies of conversation and discover what really lies beneath the surface when people only talk about themselves.

1) They constantly redirect the conversation towards themselves

Chatting can be a joyous dance, a delightful exchange of ideas and experiences.

But what happens when one partner dominates the dance floor?

People who only talk about themselves in conversations have an uncanny ability to always steer the discussion back towards their own experiences, opinions and anecdotes.

It’s like they’re performing a solo in a duet. Whether it’s their latest achievement, an interesting book they’ve read, or some random thought that just popped into their head, they always find a way to make it about them.

This isn’t necessarily done out of malice or arrogance. It might just be that they’re not aware of it, or they believe sharing their experiences is the best way to connect.

The key to understanding this behavior is recognizing the signs and understanding its implications for effective communication.

2) They often miss social cues

In the realm of conversation, there’s a subtle dance of give and take. A dance I once personally witnessed being completely overlooked.

I was at a social gathering, and one of my friends, let’s call him Mark, was sharing his experience of hiking in the Swiss Alps. It was an exciting tale, full of near-misses and breathtaking views, and we were all hooked.

But then, another friend, let’s call her Jane, interrupted Mark mid-sentence. She started talking about her own hiking experience in Colorado. Mark tried to interject a few times, but Jane just kept going.

Jane is generally a good person, but in that moment, she completely missed the social cues that it was not her turn to speak. She didn’t realize that she had abruptly hijacked Mark’s story and made it about herself.

When people consistently talk about themselves in conversations, they often miss these social cues. They may not notice the subtle signs that others are not engaged or that it’s someone else’s turn to take the spotlight.

This can lead to one-sided conversations and potential frustration among their peers.

3) They have a tendency to one-up your stories

A fascinating aspect of communication is the human desire to relate to one another’s experiences. This is often done through sharing similar stories or experiences.

However, those who predominantly talk about themselves in conversations tend to take this a notch further. They don’t just relate; they one-up.

If you’ve climbed a hill, they’ve climbed a mountain. If you’ve read an interesting book, they’ve written one. This constant need to outshine can be exhausting for the listener.

Interestingly, this behavior is linked with a psychological phenomenon known as ‘social comparison theory‘. This theory suggests that people determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others.

So, if someone constantly tries to one-up your stories, it might not be just about being self-centered. It could also be about their own insecurities and their need to affirm their self-worth.

4) They often don’t ask about you

Conversations are like tennis matches – you serve, they return. It’s a mutual exchange of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. But people who mostly talk about themselves often forget to return the serve.

You’ll notice that they seldom ask about your life, your experiences, or your opinions. They might not even realize they’re doing it. They’re so caught up in their narrative that they forget it’s a two-way street.

This doesn’t always mean they’re uninterested in you. It could be a habit formed over time or a defense mechanism to avoid revealing too much about themselves. Either way, it’s a clear sign of a conversation dominated by one person’s perspective.

5) They often interrupt others

In my experience, one of the key indicators that a person primarily talks about themselves is their tendency to interrupt others.

I remember being in a meeting once where a colleague kept interrupting everyone to share her thoughts, opinions, or an anecdote related to the topic at hand. It wasn’t just disruptive; it was also a clear sign that she was more interested in expressing herself than hearing anyone else out.

Interrupting can sometimes stem from excitement or eagerness to participate in the discussion. But when it’s a consistent pattern, it usually indicates that the person is more focused on their own narrative than the collective conversation.

As someone who values balanced communication, I’ve come to realize that frequent interruption is more than just bad manners. It’s often a marker of a person who consistently centers conversations around themselves.

6) They might actually be good listeners

This might seem paradoxical, but people who predominantly talk about themselves can sometimes be good listeners.

Here’s the twist – they often listen with the intent to respond, not to understand. They pay attention to your stories, your opinions, and your experiences, but through their own lens.

When you share something, they’re already thinking about how it relates to them or how they can use it to steer the conversation back to their favorite topic – themselves.

So while it might appear that they’re actively engaged in what you’re saying, their focus remains primarily on their own narrative.

7) They rarely acknowledge your input

In a balanced conversation, your thoughts and opinions are valued and acknowledged. But when someone is constantly self-focused, they often overlook the input of others.

You might share an insightful comment or a thoughtful opinion, but instead of acknowledging it, they might just brush past it and continue with their narrative.

They might not be doing it intentionally – they may simply be so engrossed in their own world that they fail to notice the contributions of others.

This lack of acknowledgment, however, can make the conversation feel one-sided and unsatisfying for the other participants.

8) They might not realize they’re doing it

Perhaps the most important thing to understand about people who predominantly talk about themselves is that they might not even realize they’re doing it.

This behavior could stem from various factors – perhaps they’re naturally more communicative, or maybe they’re using conversation as a way to process their thoughts.

Regardless of the reason, the first step towards balanced communication is awareness. It’s only when they recognize the pattern that they can begin to change it.

Wrapping it up

If you’ve journeyed with us till the end of this article, you might now see that people who frequently talk about themselves in conversations aren’t necessarily self-absorbed or inconsiderate.

Often, they’re unaware of their conversation style. It might be their way of connecting, or perhaps a habit formed over time. Remember, understanding is the first step to patience and better communication.

As you navigate through conversations, remember this quote by Stephen R. Covey: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Be the one who listens to understand. Be the one who fosters balanced, engaging conversations. After all, communication is not just about talking. It’s about listening, understanding, and valuing the perspectives of others.