People who get repetitive in conversations typically display these behaviors, says a psychologist

If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone who tends to repeat themselves, you’ll know how it can be both puzzling and exasperating at times.
Often, these repetitive conversations involve a cycle of same stories, ideas or points, which can leave you feeling stuck and unsure how to respond.
This tendency isn’t just a quirk or a conscious choice – psychologists point out that it’s often linked to certain behaviors and patterns.
But like any interaction, talking with someone who regularly repeats themselves can present its own unique challenges.
Learning about these behaviors and why they occur could go a long way in helping you navigate these conversations. Plus, it might even give you some insight into the person behind the repetition.
1) Overemphasis on particular topics
When someone is frequently repetitive in dialogue, one behavior you might notice is their focus on specific subjects.
This isn’t just a casual reference or two; they tend to repeatedly circle back to these topics, regardless of the conversation flow.
For example, if you’re talking about your weekend plans and they repeatedly bring up their love for gardening, even when it doesn’t quite fit into the conversation, this is a classic sign of repetitiveness.
They might not even realize they’re doing it, but the pattern is clearly there.
This behavior isn’t necessarily about controlling the conversation—it’s more likely a subconscious habit. It might be tied to their comfort zones, or topics they feel particularly knowledgeable about.
Understanding this can help you better respond in these situations. You might choose to gently guide the conversation back on track, or indulge them briefly before moving on to another subject.
Remember that they probably aren’t doing this to frustrate you—they’re simply falling into a pattern they may not be aware of.
Recognizing this and responding with patience can make your conversations much smoother and more enjoyable for both of you.
2) Silence is golden
You might assume that someone who repeats themselves would be constantly chatty, filling every moment with their voice. Surprisingly, this isn’t always the case.
In fact, repetitive conversationalists often exhibit periods of silence in their speech patterns.
These silent moments can seem out of place, especially amidst their usual verbose tendencies.
You might find them pausing for longer than usual in the middle of a conversation, or falling silent when you’d expect them to respond.
This isn’t them losing interest or zoning out. Rather, these silences could be a sign of them processing their thoughts – and more often than not, preparing to circle back to their favorite topics.
They might even repeat a point they made before the silence, as if the pause never happened.
While it might feel awkward, these moments of quiet can actually provide an opportunity for you to steer the conversation in a new direction.
You could introduce a new topic or ask a question that encourages them to think outside their usual patterns. Doing so can help break the cycle of repetition and make your conversations more varied and engaging.
3) They may struggle with memory recall
Repetitive conversation might not just be a random habit. It can actually be a sign of someone having a bit of difficulty with their memory.
They might forget they’ve already shared a certain story or point, causing them to unconsciously repeat it.
This doesn’t mean they have a significant memory issue or disorder. In fact, all of us experience some degree of forgetfulness from time to time.
Stress, lack of sleep, or even just being preoccupied can affect our ability to recall information accurately.
If you notice this pattern in someone’s conversation, it’s important to respond with understanding and patience.
Gently reminding them that they’ve already shared that story or point can help, but it’s also crucial not to make them feel embarrassed or self-conscious about it.
After all, we all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies when it comes to communication.
4) Seeking validation and assurance
When someone repeats the same stories or thoughts, it might not be a simple matter of forgetfulness or comfort zones. At times, it can be a heartfelt yearning for validation and assurance.
They might repeat a particular story because they’re looking for the same positive reaction it garnered the first time.
Or they might reiterate a certain point because they’re unsure if it was fully understood or appreciated in earlier conversations.
It’s like an echo of their need to be heard, understood, and validated. And isn’t that something we all crave in our interactions?
So, the next time you find yourself in conversation with someone who tends to repeat themselves, remember this possibility.
Your understanding, patience, and a simple nod of affirmation could mean more to them than you realize.
It’s these little acts of kindness that can turn any conversation, however repetitive it might seem, into meaningful connection.
5) Habitual story-telling
We all have our favorite stories. Those tales from our past that we’ve told so many times, we could recite them in our sleep. For some people, this becomes a habitual part of their conversation style.
It’s not just about repeating the same anecdotes over and over again. It’s about the comfort and familiarity these stories bring. They are well-rehearsed narratives that have been polished and perfected over time.
You’ve probably caught yourself doing this too, reaching for that tried-and-true story when you’re in a new social situation or when there’s a lull in the conversation.
It’s a way to bridge gaps, break the ice, or simply fill silence.
So, when you encounter someone who often repeats themselves in conversation, it might just be their version of that “go-to” story.
It’s their safe harbor in the vast sea of dialogue – something familiar amidst the unpredictable waves of conversation. And really, aren’t we all just looking for a bit of solid ground now and then?
6) Nervousness can play a part
Let’s take a minute to think about those times when we’ve been a little anxious or nervous. Perhaps it was during a job interview, a first date, or even a public speaking event.
During these situations, did you find yourself circling back to the same points or anecdotes? If you did, you’re certainly not alone.
Many of us tend to repeat ourselves when we’re nervous. It’s almost like our brain hits the replay button on certain thoughts or stories as a way of coping with the anxiety of the situation.
I remember once during a particularly nerve-wracking presentation, I kept returning to the same point about customer engagement.
It wasn’t until a friendly colleague gently steered the conversation in another direction that I realized I’d been stuck in a loop.
This is another common behavior of those who often repeat themselves in conversation.
Remembering this can help us approach such situations with more understanding and less frustration, leading to more fruitful and enjoyable conversations.
7) It’s not always about you
This might be a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, the repetition in conversation isn’t about you or your ability to listen or engage. It’s about the other person and their internal processes.
Sure, it can be frustrating to hear the same story for the umpteenth time or to have a circular conversation that doesn’t seem to go anywhere. But remember, this isn’t a reflection of your conversational skills.
Instead of letting it get under your skin, try changing your perspective. See it as a part of them, much like their laugh or the way they always misplace their glasses.
It’s simply one thread in the complex tapestry of their personality.
And who knows? With a little patience and a change in perspective, you might just find that these repetitive conversations have a rhythm and charm of their own.
After all, no two snowflakes are exactly alike, yet each one adds to the beauty of a winter scene.
Final thoughts
Understanding the nuances of conversation is an art—an art that involves patience, understanding, and a dash of empathy.
And it’s these qualities that truly enrich our interactions, even when they seem to echo with repetition.
This article aimed to shed light on the behaviors of those who tend to repeat themselves in conversation. But remember, this is merely a guide. Each person, each conversation is unique and deserves its own approach.
Time spent in conversation, even repetitive ones, is never time squandered. It’s an exploration of human connection, a journey into the labyrinth of individual perspectives.
Being truly attuned means not letting frustration cloud your understanding. It’s about recognizing the essence of the person behind the repetition and appreciating the rhythm they bring to the symphony of conversation.
So here’s to more insightful, patient, and fulfilling conversations. Here’s to unraveling the complexity of human interaction—one repetitive dialog at a time!