We all have that one friend who squirms or blushes when they receive a compliment, don’t we? You know, the one who responds with a sheepish grin or an awkward silence instead of a simple “thank you”.

But why does this happen? Why do some people find it so hard to accept a bit of praise?

Well, according to psychology, there’s actually a lot more to it than meets the eye.

People who feel awkward when complimented often share some common traits. Some of these traits might surprise you, others might make you nod in agreement.

In this article, we’ll delve into these seven characteristics and try to understand what lies beneath the surface of this peculiar behavior.

1) Low self-esteem

It’s no secret that those with low self-esteem often find it hard to accept compliments. They might think, “Who, me? No way, I’m not that great.”

When someone praises them, their inner critic wakes up and starts throwing a tantrum. This internal dialogue can make them feel uncomfortable or even downright embarrassed.

It’s almost as if they’re wired to deflect positivity and choose self-doubt instead.

But here’s the thing.

This isn’t about fishing for more compliments or seeking reassurance. It’s about a genuine disbelief in their own worthiness. It’s a trait that’s deeply rooted in their psychology, and it’s definitely not something they do for attention.

Understanding this can help us interact more effectively with people who have low self-esteem. After all, good relationships are built on empathy and understanding, aren’t they? 

2) Fear of appearing arrogant

Have you ever complimented someone, only for them to brush it off quickly, as if they’re worried about seeming boastful? I have a friend, let’s call her Amy, who does this all the time.

Amy is one of the most talented artists I know. Her work is simply breathtaking. But every time someone compliments her, she shrugs it off with a, “Oh, it’s nothing special.”

To me, it was clear that Amy wasn’t just being modest. It seemed like she was genuinely afraid of appearing arrogant or self-absorbed if she accepted the compliment.

It got me thinking. Perhaps some people get awkward when complimented because they worry that accepting praise might make them seem egotistical.

So, remember Amy next time you see someone struggling to accept a compliment. They might just be trying to avoid seeming too full of themselves. This understanding can help us be more patient and empathetic in our interactions with them.

3) Perfectionism

Perfectionism. It’s a trait we often associate with diligence, high standards, and a commendable work ethic. But there’s a darker side to it that isn’t often talked about.

Consider this. A perfectionist gets a compliment on their work. Instead of feeling proud, they start picking apart the praise. “They liked it? But I could have done this part better. I should have spent more time on that section…”

In their eyes, there’s always room for improvement. Compliments, instead of being heartwarming, become a reminder of their perceived flaws and imperfections.

I’ve been there myself.

I remember receiving praise for a project I had worked on. Instead of basking in the glow of the compliment, my mind immediately jumped to all the ways I could have made it better.

It was exhausting and took away from the joy of achievement.

Perfectionism can be a tricky trait to navigate, especially when it comes to accepting praise. But understanding it can help us empathize with those who struggle with it and guide our interactions with them in a more positive and supportive way.

4) Difficulty trusting others

For some people, accepting a compliment can be difficult because they struggle to trust others. They might question the sincerity behind the praise, wondering if it’s genuine or just flattery.

“Did they really mean it, or are they just being polite?”

This doubt can create an uncomfortable feeling when they receive a compliment, making them react awkwardly.

This isn’t about being cynical or suspicious, but rather a deeper issue of trust that can stem from past experiences or personal insecurities.

The next time you compliment someone and they seem skeptical or uncomfortable, keep in mind that their reaction might have more to do with their trust issues than with your compliment. Being aware of this can help us be more understanding and patient in our interactions with them.

5) Cultural differences

This one might surprise you, but cultural background can play a significant role in how people respond to compliments.

In some cultures, modesty is highly valued, and accepting a compliment outright might be seen as inappropriate or even rude. In these societies, it’s common to downplay one’s achievements or talents.

For example, in many Eastern cultures, deflecting compliments is a sign of humility, whereas in many Western cultures, accepting a compliment is seen as a recognition of one’s efforts.

If someone you know always seems awkward when complimented, it’s worth considering their cultural background. It might shed some light on why they react the way they do.

Understanding these cultural nuances can foster better communication and build stronger relationships. After all, appreciating diversity is all about understanding and respecting different perspectives, isn’t it?

6) Struggles with self-acceptance

How many times have we heard the phrase, “You need to love yourself first?” It sounds simple enough, but for some people, this can be a real struggle.

Those who find it difficult to accept themselves often grapple with compliments. After all, how can you believe someone else’s positive words about you when you can’t see those qualities in yourself?

I have a colleague who is brilliant at what he does. Yet, every time he’s complimented, he shies away. “I’m just doing my job,” he’d say.

It took a while to understand that his inability to accept compliments stemmed from his struggle with self-acceptance.

It’s important to remember that everyone is on their own journey of self-love and acceptance. When we compliment someone and they react awkwardly, let’s remind ourselves of this.

Our kindness and patience can make a world of difference in their journey. And who knows, our compliments might just help them see the wonderful qualities they possess that we already see in them.

7) Fear of vulnerability

At the heart of it all, there’s one trait that often plays a significant role in how people handle compliments – fear of vulnerability.

Accepting a compliment requires acknowledging that someone else sees something good in you. This can feel like exposing a part of yourself, making you feel vulnerable.

What if they change their mind later? What if they discover I’m not as good as they think? These thoughts can make accepting praise an emotionally charged experience.

So, when someone reacts awkwardly to your compliment, remember, they might just be grappling with their own vulnerability. It’s not about the compliment per se, but the fear of revealing a part of themselves to others.

By understanding this, we can create safer spaces for people to express their vulnerabilities and grow comfortable with receiving praise. And that’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

Final thoughts

If you recognize these traits in yourself or someone you know, remember – understanding is the first step towards growth.

Instead of being critical, let’s show empathy. After all, everyone has their quirks and unique ways of interpreting the world around them.

For those who struggle with accepting compliments, know this – it’s okay. Everyone has their own journey and pace. However, acknowledging the good in yourself doesn’t make you arrogant or conceited.

It allows you to recognize your worth. And that’s a powerful thing.

In this chaotic world, compliments are like little drops of positivity. They have the power to uplift and inspire. So whether you’re giving or receiving a compliment, let it be a genuine exchange of positivity.

Remember, being kind to others is wonderful, but being kind to yourself is equally important. So next time someone praises you, take a moment.

Breathe in the compliment, let it settle in your heart, and give yourself permission to believe it.

After all, we’re all just works in progress, learning and growing each day. And that’s what makes our journey uniquely beautiful.