I don’t know about you, but I’ve found myself in this situation more times than I can count. I craft a thoughtful message, hit send, and then…panic. Suddenly, I’m riddled with self-doubt and hastily delete the message, hoping no one saw it.

Sound familiar?

Well, you’re not alone. In fact, there’s a whole psychological study behind this behavior. And guess what? Those who frequently delete messages due to sudden self-doubt often share seven common behaviors.

No need to worry though. Understanding these behaviors can be a powerful tool in overcoming self-doubt and improving your overall communication skills, both online and offline.

If you’re curious about what these behaviors are and how you can use this knowledge to your advantage, then stick around. This might be the read you didn’t know you needed.

Isn’t it comforting to know that even our quirks and habits have some psychology behind them? Not to mention, it’s always rewarding to learn more about ourselves and find ways to grow and improve.

Let’s jump in!

1) Overthinking

Have you ever spent a good ten minutes crafting a two-sentence message?

If you’re nodding in agreement, welcome to the club.

Overthinking is a common behavior among those who frequently delete their messages. You might replay scenarios in your head, scrutinize each word choice, or analyze potential responses from the other person.

But here’s the deal.

Overthinking can be a roadblock to effective communication. It can hold you back from expressing your thoughts and feelings genuinely. And let’s be real, it can also be mentally exhausting.

Recognizing you’re an overthinker is the first step towards overcoming it.

So, if you find yourself spending an eternity crafting a simple message, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay to express your thoughts without overanalyzing every single word.

After all, isn’t communication about authenticity?

2) Fear of judgment

I remember a time when I sent a message to my boss with a suggestion for a new project.

Just as I hit send, a wave of self-doubt washed over me. What if he thinks it’s a terrible idea? What if he questions my competence? And before I knew it, I had deleted the message.

Well, that’s the fear of judgment at play, another common behavior amongst people who frequently delete their messages. We worry about how others will perceive us based on what we say or don’t say.

Just like overthinking, this fear can hinder our ability to communicate effectively. It stops us from sharing our thoughts, ideas, or feelings openly.

And you know what? Most of the time, our fear of judgment is far worse in our heads than it is in reality. After all, everyone has thoughts and ideas worth sharing.

Next time you find yourself deleting a message out of fear of how it will be received, remember this – your voice matters.

3) Perfectionism

Let me paint a picture for you.

You’re typing a message. You read it once, twice, maybe even five times. Each time, you change a word, tweak a phrase or redo the punctuation. Until it’s perfect. Or at least, until you think it’s perfect.

Welcome to the world of perfectionism.

Perfectionism drives us to go above and beyond in everything we do. It urges us to present ourselves in the best possible light, even in casual text messages. Yet, it can also be the very reason we delete those messages in a sudden burst of self-doubt.

Here’s the thing – while striving for excellence is commendable, an obsession with perfection can become overwhelming. It can lead to self-doubt, anxiety and even prohibit us from clicking that ‘send’ button.

Finding yourself caught in the perfectionist loop while typing a message, take a step back. Remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes. After all, we’re all human and that’s what makes us real and relatable.

4) Anticipation of negative responses

Imagine this: You type out a message, read it, it sounds great. You hit send. But then, that little voice in your head starts whispering, “What if they take it the wrong way?” or “What if they respond negatively?”

That’s when you hit delete.

Anticipating negative responses is another behavior that can lead us to delete messages out of self-doubt. We create hypothetical negative scenarios in our minds and let them dictate our actions.

The reality?

Most of these scenarios never happen. It’s just our mind playing tricks on us.

So next time you find yourself deleting a message due to fear of a negative response, take a moment to challenge those thoughts. Acknowledge them, but don’t let them control your actions. More often than not, you’ll find that your fears were unfounded.

5) Low self-esteem

Did you know that our self-esteem plays a significant role in how we communicate with others?

That’s right.

People with low self-esteem often doubt their worth and abilities, which can extend to doubting the value of their messages. It’s like a constant background noise whispering, “Are my thoughts even worth sharing?”

Now, let’s be clear.

Everyone has moments of self-doubt. But when these moments start dictating your actions, like deleting your messages, it might be a sign of low self-esteem.

Recognizing this can be a game-changer. It’s an opportunity to work on boosting your self-esteem and in turn, improving your communication skills. Remember, your thoughts and opinions are valuable and they deserve to be heard.

6) Sensitivity to rejection

Ever deleted a message because you feared the silence on the other end? That dreaded ‘seen’ notification with no reply?

You’re not alone.

Many of us are sensitive to rejection, even in its subtle forms, like not receiving a reply to our messages. This sensitivity can stem from past experiences or inherent personality traits.

Here’s what I want you to remember.

Not getting a response doesn’t necessarily mean rejection. People are busy, they forget, they get distracted. It’s not always about you or your message.

And next time you feel that pang of fear before hitting send, remind yourself that rejection, even if it does happen, is not a measure of your worth. You are much more than a single message or response.

7) High level of self-awareness

Here’s something that might surprise you.

People who often delete messages due to self-doubt usually have a high level of self-awareness. They are acutely aware of their words, actions and how they might be perceived by others.

While this characteristic can lead to overthinking and self-doubt, it’s also an incredible strength. It shows a capacity for empathy and consideration – qualities that make great communicators.

So, if you find yourself deleting your messages often, remember this – your thoughtful nature is not a drawback. It’s a strength that can be harnessed to enhance your communication skills. You just need to strike the right balance between self-awareness and self-confidence.

And trust me, you’ve got this!

Final thoughts

If you see a reflection of yourself in these behaviors, know that you’re not alone. Many of us grapple with self-doubt, especially in our digital communications.

But here’s the silver lining – this self-awareness is a powerful first step towards change.

Start by noticing when you hesitate or second guess before hitting send. Acknowledge the thoughts that rush through your mind in that moment. Remember, these are just thoughts, not facts.

Ask yourself – Does this message reflect my true thoughts and feelings? Am I deleting it out of fear or genuine need for revision?

This won’t happen instantly. Breaking old habits takes time. But with continuous practice and self-compassion, you’ll find it easier to express your authentic self without second-guessing.

In the grand scheme of things, remember that communication is about connection, not perfection. Your words have value and they deserve to be heard.

The next time you feel the urge to delete a message due to self-doubt, take a deep breath and hit send. Trust in your voice and your ability to communicate authentically. You might be surprised at the positive responses you receive when you do.

After all, vulnerability and authenticity are the cornerstones of meaningful connections. And who knows? Embracing these traits might just lead you towards deeper conversations and stronger relationships.