If someone smiles at you, you’re likely to think they’re friendly. If they lend you a hand, you might even assume they’re kind.

That’s the surface of human interaction.

But as we delve deeper, things aren’t always what they seem.

The human personality is a labyrinth, often requiring a bit of navigation to truly comprehend.

Now, there are some individuals who start off sweet but turn bitter once you’ve peeled back the layers.

They typically show these 8 specific behaviors.

In this age of global communication and interaction, where understanding each other is key, let’s dive in to decipher these traits.

1) Fluctuating kindness

Everyone has their good and bad days, right?

But when you’re dealing with people who are nice at first but mean once you get to know them, their kindness seems to fluctuate more than the stock market on a volatile day.

One moment they’re offering you a helping hand, the next they’re snapping at you for the smallest of things.

It’s as if their niceness is merely a temporary façade, carefully constructed to draw you in.

But as the bonds of familiarity grow, this façade begins to crumble, revealing a harsher, meaner side beneath.

Suddenly, their previously warm smiles are replaced with cold indifference or even outright hostility.

If you’re dealing with someone whose behavior swings like a pendulum, you might just be dealing with a person who’s nice at first but mean once you get to know them.

Intriguing, isn’t it?

2) Backhanded compliments

Ever had someone compliment you, but something about it just didn’t feel right?

I remember a colleague I once had. When I first met her, she was all smiles, praising my work and complimenting my ideas in team meetings.

I thought we were off to a good start.

But as time went on, her compliments started to have a sting to them.

They were subtly laced with criticism and often left me feeling more unsure of myself than before.

For instance, she once said, “Your presentation was really detailed… maybe a little too detailed for some.”

It was a compliment on the surface, but beneath it lay a clear critique.

That’s when I realized she fell into the category of people who are nice initially but mean once you get to know them.

Her compliments weren’t genuine, they were backhanded – a classic sign of such individuals.

A tricky one to spot, but once you do, it can be quite the revelation.

3) Excessive competitiveness

Competition is a natural part of life. It’s what drives us to improve and push our boundaries.

But with individuals who are nice initially and mean later on, this competitive spirit can take on an unhealthy form.

These individuals often view every interaction as a competition that they must win at all costs.

Even the most mundane tasks can turn into a battle of wits and abilities.

They’ll always try to one-up you, whether it’s in a professional setting or in casual conversations.

Interestingly, according to psychology, excessive competitiveness can often stem from deep-seated insecurity.

These individuals feel the need to prove their worth constantly, which can lead them to be overly aggressive and mean in their interactions once the initial niceness wears off.

It’s always essential to remember that life isn’t a constant competition.

Cooperation and understanding are equally important.

4) Lack of empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a fundamental part of human relationships.

It’s what binds us together and helps us navigate the complex world of human emotions.

However, individuals who are nice at first but turn mean later often display a noticeable lack of empathy.

They might seem understanding and compassionate initially, but as you get to know them better, you’ll notice that their concern for your feelings starts to wane.

For example, they may dismiss your problems or even ridicule you for feeling a certain way.

They might also be unwilling to put themselves in your shoes or show a lack of remorse when they hurt you.

This lack of empathy can make these individuals come across as cold and mean, a stark contrast to the friendly persona they initially presented.

5) Constant fault-finding

We all have our flaws, and it’s crucial for personal growth to acknowledge and work on them.

But when someone consistently points out your faults, it can be hurtful and demeaning.

I’ve noticed this trait in people who are nice at first but become mean later on.

They start off by appreciating your strengths, but as time goes by, their focus shifts to your weaknesses.

I remember a friend who always seemed to find something wrong with what I did. If I cooked a meal, she’d point out it was too salty.

If I wore a new dress, she’d comment that the color didn’t suit me. It felt like I could never do anything right.

This constant fault-finding can be their way of asserting dominance or masking their own insecurities.

It’s a mean trait that’s often hidden behind an initial veil of niceness.

6) Excessive generosity

You might think that generosity is always a positive trait. After all, who doesn’t appreciate a person who’s kind-hearted and giving?

However, in the case of those who are initially nice but turn mean, their generosity can sometimes be a red flag.

They might shower you with gifts or favors early on in the relationship, creating a sense of indebtedness.

But as time passes, they begin to use this generosity as leverage.

They might remind you of their previous kindness to guilt-trip you into agreeing with them or doing what they want.

What seemed like selfless giving at first can turn into a manipulative tool later on.

While generosity is often a virtue, in these instances, it can become a means for control and meanness.

It’s a complex dynamic that’s worth being aware of.

7) Evasive about personal life

Getting to know someone involves sharing bits and pieces of your personal life.

It’s a process that builds trust and deepens the relationship.

However, people who are nice at first but mean later can often be evasive about their personal life.

While they might initially engage in conversations about your life, they might be hesitant to share details about their own.

It’s not about respecting their privacy or giving them space.

It’s more about a lack of reciprocity, a one-sidedness that becomes more apparent as the relationship progresses.

This evasion can be an indicator that they’re not fully invested in the relationship or that they’re hiding aspects of their personality – aspects that might explain why they turn mean over time.

It’s a subtle sign, but one that’s worth paying attention to.

8) Inconsistent behavior

Above all, the key indicator of people who are nice at first but mean later is their inconsistent behavior.

One day they’re your best friend, the next they’re treating you with disdain.

This inconsistency can be confusing and emotionally draining.

It keeps you on your toes, never knowing what to expect from them.

Remember, healthy relationships are built on consistency and mutual respect.

If someone’s behavior towards you is constantly shifting, it might be a sign that they’re not as nice as they initially seemed.

Closing thoughts

Navigating the complex landscape of human behavior is a challenge, but it’s a necessary part of understanding each other.

Meeting someone who is nice at first but turns mean later can be a disheartening experience.

But remember, it’s not a reflection of your worth but rather their struggle with their own insecurities and fears.

We’ve explored the eight behaviors these individuals often display, but let’s not forget that people are capable of change.

Awareness is the first step towards improvement – for them and for us in dealing with such situations.

As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Perhaps the key lies not in expecting them to change, but in protecting ourselves from their meanness while hoping they find their way to kindness.

After all, empathy and understanding are what make us human.

Let’s strive to promote these values, even when faced with those who initially seem nice but reveal a mean streak over time.