We’ve all heard it time and again – “Love is blind”.

But what if it’s not just about overlooking their annoying habit of leaving the toothpaste cap off, or enduring their predilection for pineapple on pizza? What if this blindness is preventing us from recognizing something far more sinister – emotional manipulation?

Here’s a hard truth.

It’s not always the people outside our circles who cause us harm. Sometimes, those closest to us, those who are supposed to love and protect us, can be the ones wielding the most damaging weapons.

And the worst part?

These signs of emotional manipulation often aren’t glaringly obvious. They’re subtle, insidious, and creep up on you when you least expect it.

So, if you’re sitting there wondering, “Am I being emotionally manipulated?”, this article could be your wake-up call.

We’re about to uncover seven non-obvious signs that you might be in the clutches of an emotional manipulator. And remember, knowledge is power. Recognizing these signs is the first step towards reclaiming control over your emotional well-being.

Now, let’s dive in and shed some light on these underhanded tactics.

1) They subtly shift the blame on to you

Guess what?

It’s not your fault.

Yet, somehow, every disagreement, every argument, every misunderstanding gets twisted and turned until you find yourself apologizing. Sound familiar?

This is a classic tactic employed by emotional manipulators – it’s called blame-shifting. They’re masters at avoiding responsibility and making you feel guilty for their missteps.

But here’s the kicker.

It’s often done so subtly that you might not even realize it’s happening. One minute, you’re expressing a concern, the next thing you know, they’ve spun it around, and you’re the one who’s in the wrong.

So, if you constantly find yourself feeling guilty or saying sorry in your relationship without really understanding why, take a step back. You might be dealing with an expert at blame-shifting.

2) They gaslight you

Let’s talk about gaslighting.

This term comes from a 1938 play where a man tries to convince his wife she’s going insane. He does this by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting she’s mistaken or misremembering when she points out these changes.

Sounds extreme, right?

Well, here’s my own story.

I remember a time when I was planning a weekend getaway with my significant other. I had distinctly mentioned wanting to leave on Friday morning. But as the day approached, they insisted that we had agreed on leaving Saturday instead.

“It must be your memory failing,” they said, “We never discussed leaving on Friday.”

I was sure we had, but their confidence made me question my memory. Was I really misremembering?

So here’s the thing: If you often find yourself questioning your memory or sanity in a relationship, it might not be you, but a sign of gaslighting. It’s a subtle form of emotional manipulation that can leave you feeling disoriented and doubting yourself.

3) They diminish your accomplishments

Here’s a hard pill to swallow.

When I landed my dream job, I was on cloud nine. I thought, finally, all my hard work had paid off. I was excited to share the news with my partner, expecting them to be as thrilled as I was.

But here’s what happened instead.

A dismissive nod, a half-hearted “That’s great”, quickly followed by a long rant about their tough day at work. No celebration, no shared joy – just a fleeting moment of acknowledgment before my accomplishment was swept under the rug.

It hurt.

But it took me a while to realize that this wasn’t an isolated incident. Every time I had something to celebrate, their reaction was the same – indifference or, worse, an attempt to overshadow my achievement with their problems.

The truth is, if someone is constantly downplaying your successes and not celebrating your accomplishments, you might be dealing with an emotional manipulator.

It’s a subtle form of manipulation that can make you feel small and insignificant over time. Always remember, you deserve to be with someone who celebrates your success as much as their own.

4) They play the victim

Playing the victim card – we’ve all come across this at some point in our lives, haven’t we?

It happened to me with a close friend. Whenever I tried addressing something that bothered me about our friendship, they’d turn it around, making it about their problems, their struggles, their feelings. Suddenly, I was the one comforting them.

And here’s the crazy part.

I’d leave these conversations feeling like the bad guy for bringing up my issues in the first place. They had a knack for twisting situations to make themselves look like the victim, leaving me feeling guilty for expressing my concerns.

If you’re constantly made to feel like the villain in your own story while they paint themselves as the hapless victim, it’s likely you’re being emotionally manipulated. It’s a classic move – diverting attention from your valid concerns by playing the victim.

Don’t let it slide. Your feelings and concerns are just as important and deserve to be heard too.

5) They use silent treatment as a weapon

Did you know that the silent treatment is considered a form of emotional abuse by many psychologists?

Now, let me be clear. I’m not talking about taking a time-out after a heated argument or needing some space to process things. I’m referring to the intentional withholding of communication to punish or manipulate.

I was once in a relationship where my partner would go silent on me for days if I did something they didn’t like. No calls, no texts, no communication whatsoever. It was their way of ‘teaching me a lesson’.

Initially, I thought it was their way of dealing with conflict. But over time, I realized it was more than that. It was a calculated move designed to make me feel anxious and force me into submission.

The silent treatment isn’t just an annoying habit. It’s a potent form of psychological manipulation that can leave you feeling powerless and desperate for resolution.

If someone uses silence as a weapon to get their way, it’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.

6) They trivialize your feelings

Feelings, emotions, they’re an integral part of who we are. They deserve respect and understanding, especially from those who claim to love us.

I had a friend who would laugh off my fears and anxieties, dismissing them as ‘overreactions’ or ‘silly worries’. “You’re just being overly sensitive,” they’d tell me.

It hurt. It made me feel small, unimportant, and over time, I started suppressing my feelings. I doubted myself and questioned whether my reactions were valid or if I was indeed ‘overly sensitive’.

But here’s what I want you to understand.

Your feelings are valid. They’re as real and important as anyone else’s. Don’t let anyone trivialize them or make you feel otherwise. If someone constantly dismisses or belittles your feelings, it could be a sign of emotional manipulation.

Remember, empathy is a vital part of any healthy relationship. You deserve to be heard, to be understood, and most importantly, to be respected.

7) They make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells

Here’s the most crucial thing to understand about emotional manipulation – it’s not about isolated incidents, but the overall pattern and how it makes you feel.

If you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells, afraid to say or do the wrong thing for fear of upsetting them, it’s a telltale sign of emotional manipulation.

Relationships should be about comfort, safety, and mutual respect. If you’re living in constant fear of their reactions, it’s time to take a step back and reassess.

No one should have the power to control your emotions or make you live in fear. You deserve better.

Wrapping it up

If the signs mentioned above strike a chord with you, remember this – you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. Emotional manipulation is often so subtle that it’s hard to recognize, especially when it comes from someone who is supposed to love you.

But here’s the silver lining – recognizing these signs is the first step towards change.

Awareness breeds empowerment. It enables you to understand your situation better, to draw boundaries and, if necessary, seek professional help. It gives you the strength to reclaim control over your emotional well-being.

Remember, love is not about power or control. It’s about mutual respect, understanding, and equality. If someone truly loves you, they would respect your feelings, celebrate your achievements, and never use your emotions against you.

It might take time, but don’t lose hope. You have the strength within you to overcome this. And always remember – you are more than worthy of a love that respects and cherishes you for who you are.

And as Maya Angelou once wisely said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

Keep this in mind as you navigate your relationships and remember to prioritize yourself and your emotional health. You owe it to yourself.