If you want to start showing your child you genuinely care about them, say goodbye to these habits

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | January 18, 2025, 5:04 pm

Expressing genuine care for your child involves more than just words; it’s about cultivating habits that show your love and dedication.

Unfortunately, some practices, though well-intentioned, can inadvertently harm your relationship with your child.

Parenthood is a continuous learning process. We all have habits that may seem harmless or even beneficial, but they could be subtly damaging our child’s self-esteem and sense of security.

In this article, we’re going to examine seven such habits. These are common behaviors that many of us may be guilty of without realizing their potential impact.

Shedding these habits can significantly enhance your connection with your child. Remember, it’s not about achieving perfection but growing and learning together on this beautiful journey called parenthood.

So if you’re keen on deepening your relationship with your child and showing them you genuinely care, stay tuned as we delve into these seven habits you should bid goodbye to.

1) Ignoring their emotional needs

One habit that can unintentionally damage your relationship with your child is neglecting their emotional needs. Children are highly sensitive beings, and their emotions are as real and important as ours.

Often in a bid to raise “strong” children, parents may dismiss their child’s feelings as unimportant or trivial.

This can lead to the child feeling invalidated and unheard, significantly affecting their emotional health and self-esteem.

Your child needs to know that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling. By acknowledging and validating their emotions, you show them that their feelings matter, fostering a sense of security and trust.

If your child is upset, instead of saying “You’re fine,” or “Don’t cry,” try saying, “I can see you’re upset. Would you like to talk about it?”

This simple shift can make a world of difference in showing your child that you genuinely care about them.

2) Over-scheduling their time

In our quest to provide the best for our children, we often fall into the trap of over-scheduling their time with endless activities and lessons.

While it’s important to expose them to a variety of experiences, packing their day with structured activities can be counterproductive.

Children need downtime – unstructured time for creative play, exploration, and even boredom. It’s during these moments that they learn essential life skills like problem-solving, decision-making, and self-regulation.

Moreover, constantly rushing from one activity to another can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety in children.

It denies them the opportunity to enjoy their childhood, savouring moments of fun, relaxation and spontaneity.

To show genuine care, ensure your child has a balance between structured activities and free time. Encourage them to engage in activities they truly enjoy rather than those that seem impressive on a resume.

3) Dismissing their opinions

Children have their own thoughts, opinions, and preferences.

However, a habit that many parents unknowingly adopt is dismissing or overriding their child’s opinions. This can make children feel unheard and unimportant.

Listening to your child’s viewpoints, even if you disagree, fosters a sense of self-worth and confidence. It tells them that their thoughts matter and they have a voice.

It’s important to encourage open dialogue at home. Let your child express their opinions, and take the time to discuss it with them.

Even if the final decision is not in their favor, they will appreciate being part of the conversation.

One key aspect of showing genuine care is respecting your child’s individuality and autonomy. This includes acknowledging their right to have different views.

Next, we’ll explore how your reactions to failure and mistakes can significantly influence your child’s self-perception and growth.

4) Reacting negatively to failures

Failures and mistakes are integral to growth and learning. However, a common habit among parents is reacting negatively to their child’s failures.

This can lead to the child developing a fear of making mistakes and a reluctance to try new things.

Your reaction to your child’s failures can shape their attitude towards challenges and risks. Rather than scolding or criticizing, use these moments as opportunities for learning and growth.

Reframe failures as stepping stones to success. Teach your child that it’s okay to fail and that every mistake is an opportunity to learn something new.

This approach will not only boost their resilience but also foster a growth mindset.

In the next section, we’ll discuss another habit that can inadvertently harm your relationship with your child, involving the way we handle their accomplishments.

5) Overemphasizing achievements

While it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate your child’s accomplishments, overemphasizing them can inadvertently send the wrong message.

It might lead your child to believe their worth lies in their achievements, fostering a sense of conditional love.

To genuinely show your care, strive to appreciate your child’s efforts and character traits, not just their outcomes. Let them know that they are loved and valued for who they are, not what they achieve.

Praise attributes like kindness, honesty, perseverance, and creativity. This helps build their character and self-esteem, ensuring they don’t equate their worth with external achievements.

Next, we’ll delve into a habit related to our personal wellbeing that significantly impacts our ability to show genuine care for our children.

6) Neglecting your own wellbeing

One habit that can inadvertently affect your ability to care genuinely for your child is neglecting your own wellbeing.

Parenting is demanding, and it’s easy to prioritize your child’s needs over your own. However, when you’re physically or emotionally depleted, it’s hard to be the supportive and attentive parent your child needs.

Self-care is an essential part of good parenting. When you prioritize your health and happiness, you’re better equipped to handle parenting challenges and provide the love and care your child needs.

Additionally, modeling self-care teaches your child the importance of looking after their own physical and emotional health.

7) Failing to set boundaries

The final habit we’ll discuss is the failure to set boundaries. While it may seem counterintuitive, setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of showing genuine care for your child.

Boundaries provide a sense of security and predictability for children.

They learn what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t, helping them navigate their social world. Also, boundaries create a safe space where your child can express their feelings and needs without fear of repercussions.

However, setting boundaries doesn’t mean being overly strict or controlling. It’s about creating a balanced environment where your child feels loved and safe, but also understands the consequences of their actions.

Striking the right balance in parenting

Parenting is a delicate balancing act.

It involves providing love and care while instilling discipline, acknowledging emotions while setting boundaries, and encouraging achievements without compromising character development.

If you’ve identified with any of the habits we’ve discussed, don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, parenting is a journey of growth and learning.

The fact that you’re seeking ways to improve shows your genuine care for your child.

As you work on these habits, remember that the goal isn’t perfection but progress.

Small, consistent changes can have a significant impact over time. More than anything, showing genuine care for your child involves being present, patient, and willing to learn alongside them.

So keep learning, growing, and evolving in your parenting journey. Your efforts to show genuine care for your child will foster a loving and secure relationship that contributes positively to their overall well-being.