Growing and maturing with age is a part of life. But, it’s not just about adding years to your life, it’s also about improving your character as you get older.

The truth is, there are certain habits that we need to let go of if we want to become better versions of ourselves. It’s not about creating a whole new persona, but refining who we already are.

In this piece, I’ll be sharing eight things you should stop doing if you want to enhance your character as you age.

And don’t worry, I’m not here to lecture or preach. This is simply about providing some food for thought and suggesting ways to navigate the journey of self-improvement.

So, grab a cup of coffee (or tea), sit back, and let’s dive into the conversation of character enhancement. Trust me, it’s going to be an interesting one.

1) Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparison is a trap that we all fall into from time to time. As we age, it’s easy to look at others and feel like we’re lagging behind, whether it’s in terms of career success, family life, or physical appearance.

But here’s the thing.

The only person you should be comparing yourself against is the person you were yesterday. Life isn’t a race or a competition. It’s an individual journey where the only important measure of progress is your personal growth.

Instead of focusing on how your life stacks up against someone else’s, concentrate on your own journey. Celebrate your victories, however small they might seem. Invest time in understanding yourself better and identifying areas where you can improve.

Remember, the goal isn’t to be better than someone else. The goal is to be better than you used to be.

2) Quitting the blame game

We’ve all been there, pointing fingers and laying blame on everyone but ourselves.

I know I have. There was a time when I’d always find someone else to blame for my problems, whether it was my boss for my work stress, or my friends for my lack of free time.

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that blaming others for my circumstances wasn’t helping me grow. It was only stunting my character development and preventing me from taking responsibility for my life.

One day, after a particularly stressful week at work, I found myself blaming my boss again for my woes. But this time, something clicked. I realized that maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault.

Maybe I was also to blame for not managing my time effectively or not setting boundaries.

That moment of self-realization was a game-changer for me. I stopped blaming others and started looking inward. I began to take responsibility for my actions, and it made a world of difference.

3) Letting go of grudges

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy bag of rocks on your shoulders. It weighs you down, affects your mood and hinders your ability to grow as a person.

As we get older, it’s essential to learn the art of forgiveness. Now, this doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or allowing yourself to be mistreated again. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment.

Letting go of grudges and forgiving those who’ve wronged us can be incredibly liberating. It allows us to focus on the present and opens up room for personal growth.

Life is too short to hold onto bitterness. Choose forgiveness, let go of grudges and watch as your character flourishes with age.

4) Neglecting the present moment

As we get older, it’s easy to get caught up in the past or worry about the future. But in doing so, we often forget to live in the present moment.

Mindfulness, or the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, is a powerful tool for personal growth. It helps us to appreciate what we have right now, rather than dwelling on what we’ve lost or worrying about what’s yet to come.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment,” I delve into this topic further. I provide practical tips and exercises to help you cultivate mindfulness and live more fully in the present.

By embracing mindfulness, we can improve our character by becoming more patient, understanding, and responsive. It allows us to let go of negative thoughts and emotions that hold us back, making room for positive growth.

So, if you want to improve your character as you age, focus on being more mindful. Embrace the present moment and watch as you grow into a more grounded and centered individual.

5) Avoiding difficult conversations

In life, there are times when we need to have difficult conversations. It could be confronting a friend about their behavior, discussing relationship issues with a partner, or expressing concerns to a colleague.

For many years, I would dodge these situations. The fear of upsetting someone or facing conflict would often hold me back. But over time, I realized that avoiding these difficult conversations was doing more harm than good.

When we avoid confrontations or difficult discussions, we’re not being true to ourselves or others. We’re also missing out on opportunities for growth, understanding, and deepening our relationships.

Facing these conversations head-on can be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for character development. By dealing with difficult situations directly, we can improve our communication skills, gain deeper insights into ourselves and others, and strengthen our relationships.

6) Trying to please everyone

It may sound counter-intuitive, but constantly trying to please everyone can actually hamper your character development as you age.

We all want to be liked and accepted, it’s only human. And as a result, we often find ourselves bending over backward to accommodate others. But in doing so, we risk losing sight of our own needs and values.

There’s a beautiful saying that goes: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” It reminds us that it’s impossible to please everyone, no matter how hard we try.

The key to improving your character as you get older lies in staying true to yourself. Define your values, set boundaries, and don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ when necessary.

It’s okay not to be liked by everyone. Focus on being respected for who you truly are, rather than liked for who you’re not.

7) Fear of change

As we age, it’s easy to fall into the comfort of routine and familiarity. But clinging to the status quo due to fear of change can limit our character development.

Change is a part of life. It’s through change that we grow, learn, and evolve. It’s the catalyst that propels us out of our comfort zones and into new experiences that shape our character.

Embracing change can be scary, but it’s necessary for personal growth. It challenges our perceptions, tests our resilience, and opens us up to new possibilities.

So if you want to improve your character as you get older, don’t resist change. Embrace it. See it as an opportunity for growth and development, not something to fear. Remember, the only constant in life is change. Make it your ally, not your enemy.

8) Ignoring self-care

At the heart of improving your character as you get older is the crucial act of self-care. Neglecting to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being can have a significant impact on your personal growth.

Self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself or engaging in leisurely activities.

It’s about taking time to rest, to recharge, and to listen to what your body and mind are telling you. It’s about nourishing yourself in a way that enables you to show up as the best version of you.

So make self-care a priority. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and take time for activities that bring you joy. By taking care of yourself, you’re setting a solid foundation for continued character development as you age.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Improving your character as you get older is not a destination, but a journey. It’s about consistently making choices that align with your values, and recognizing the areas where you can grow and improve.

One of the key components in this journey is mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment. By embracing mindfulness, you can better understand your actions, reactions, and choices.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment,” I delve deeper into how mindfulness can guide you on this journey of character development. It provides practical tips and exercises to help you cultivate mindfulness and live more fully in the present.

Remember, the goal is not to become a perfect person. Perfection is an illusion. The aim is to become an improved version of yourself, one who is more patient, understanding, resilient, and genuine.

As you continue on your journey of personal growth, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Recognize your progress, no matter how small it may seem. After all, every step forward is a step in the right direction.

And most importantly, remember that it’s never too late to start. So why not begin today?