Growing older is inevitable, but growing wiser and gaining respect? That’s a choice. One that’s determined by the behaviors we hold onto, and the ones we let go of.

Let’s face it. There are certain habits, behaviors if you will, that just don’t age well. They might’ve served you in your youth, but as you mature, they can become roadblocks to wisdom and respect.

Shedding these behaviors can feel like saying goodbye to old friends. But trust me, the rewards far outweigh the momentary discomfort.

In this article, I’ll be pointing out seven behaviors you need to bid adieu to if you want to grow wiser and be more respected as you get older. Stay tuned for some life-editing tips that will help rewrite your story into one of wisdom and respect.

1) Reacting without thinking

Let’s be honest, we’ve all done it. Someone says something that triggers us, and before we know it, we’ve responded with a heated comment or impulsive action. While this might feel satisfying in the moment, it rarely serves us in the long run.

As we grow older, the importance of thoughtful response becomes increasingly clear. It’s not just about slowing down and thinking before we speak or act. It’s about understanding that our reactions can have far-reaching consequences.

Reacting without thinking is like hitting the send button on an email without proofreading it first. Sure, you’ve got your message out there, but at what cost? Misunderstandings? Hurt feelings? Damaged relationships?

If you want to grow wiser and garner respect as you age, it’s time to say goodbye to knee-jerk reactions. Instead, embrace the practice of thoughtful response. Your relationships, personal growth, and reputation will thank you for it.

2) Being averse to change

I’ve personally experienced this.

There was a time when I was heavily invested in my routines, my perspectives, and my ways of doing things. I found comfort in the familiar and was reluctant to embrace anything that disrupted it.

But with time, I realized this aversion to change was limiting my growth. It was like reading the same page of a book over and over again. Sure, I knew that page very well, but I was missing out on the rest of the story.

Embracing change doesn’t mean you have to turn your life upside down or compromise your values. For me, it meant being open to new ideas, adapting to unexpected situations, and learning from different experiences.

Letting go of my resistance to change didn’t happen overnight. It was a gradual process, like editing a manuscript. But with every change I embraced, every new chapter I opened up to, I became a little wiser, a little more respected.

You’ll be amazed at what you can learn – and how much respect you can earn – when you’re open to change.

3) Living in autopilot

A behavior that can seriously stunt our growth in wisdom and respect is living life on autopilot.

We all have those moments where we zone out, going through the motions without truly engaging.

Whether it’s mindlessly scrolling through social media, rushing through meals, or zoning out during conversations, these automatic behaviors keep us from being fully present.

Mindfulness, the practice of actively paying attention to the present moment, is a powerful antidote to autopilot living. It invites us to slow down, tune in, and fully engage with our experiences.

In my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, I delve deeper into this concept. I offer practical advice and techniques for cultivating mindfulness and breaking free from autopilot behaviors.

Adopting mindfulness isn’t just about enhancing our personal lives. It can also revolutionize how others perceive us.

When we’re fully present, we’re more attentive to others, more thoughtful in our responses, and less likely to react impulsively. And these are behaviors that earn respect and enhance wisdom as we age.

4) Avoiding difficult conversations

As human beings, it’s natural to shy away from uncomfortable or difficult conversations. We fear confrontation, worry about saying the wrong thing, or dread the potential fall-out.

There was a time when I would go to great lengths to avoid these kinds of discussions. However, I’ve learned that dodging tough conversations doesn’t make the issues disappear. Instead, they fester under the surface, growing more complex and more difficult to resolve.

Facing these conversations head-on, while challenging, is an essential part of personal growth and gaining respect. It demonstrates courage, self-respect, and respect for others. It allows for resolution, understanding and growth.

The trick is to approach these conversations with empathy, openness, and a willingness to listen. They may not always go as planned, but they offer invaluable opportunities to learn and build stronger relationships.

So if you’re seeking wisdom and respect as you age, it’s time to stop avoiding difficult conversations. Embrace them as opportunities for growth and watch your wisdom deepen and your respect soar.

5) Always striving for perfection

It might sound counter-intuitive, but always striving for perfection can actually hinder your growth in wisdom and respect as you age.

Perfection is an illusion. It’s an unattainable standard that we often use to measure our worth. But in the pursuit of perfection, we can lose sight of our own humanity, our growth, and the value of our mistakes.

Mistakes, failures, and imperfections are not signs of weakness. Rather, they’re opportunities for learning and growth. They are what make us human and relatable.

When we let go of the need for perfection and embrace our imperfections, we open up to authentic connections with others. We become more compassionate towards ourselves and others. And through this compassion and authenticity, we earn respect.

Moreover, acknowledging our imperfections allows us to learn from our mistakes and grow wiser. It’s through our flaws and failures that we gain life’s most valuable lessons.

Embrace your imperfections instead, and watch how it deepens your wisdom and enhances the respect you receive.

6) Holding onto grudges

One behavior that can significantly hinder our path to wisdom and respect with age is holding onto grudges.

Grudges are like heavy weights we carry around with us, burdening our hearts and clouding our minds. They keep us stuck in the past, preventing us from fully embracing the present and moving forward.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is like dropping that weight. It doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about releasing the resentment and anger that’s holding you back.

When we forgive, we free ourselves from the toxic hold of grudges. We open ourselves up to peace, growth, and deeper connections with others.

Moreover, choosing forgiveness over resentment demonstrates a level of emotional maturity and wisdom that commands respect.

So if you want to grow wiser and more respected as you age, consider letting go of your grudges. Choose forgiveness instead, and watch how it transforms your life and enhances the respect you command.

7) Ignoring self-care

The most important behavior to say goodbye to if you want to grow wiser and more respected as you age is ignoring self-care.

Self-care is not selfish or indulgent. It’s about recognizing and meeting your own needs so you can show up as your best self for others.

When we neglect our own needs, it impacts our ability to think clearly, make wise decisions, and interact effectively with others. It depletes our energy, clouds our judgment, and can even impact our health.

On the other hand, when we prioritize self-care, we are better equipped to handle life’s challenges, make wise choices, and build meaningful relationships. And these are qualities that earn respect and contribute to wisdom.

So if you want to be wiser and more respected as you get older, it’s time to stop ignoring self-care. Make it a priority in your life and watch how it enhances your wisdom and the respect you command.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey, not a destination

The journey towards becoming wiser and more respected as we age is deeply personal and unique to each individual.

It’s not an overnight transformation, but a gradual process of introspection, growth, and letting go. 

My book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, explores many of these concepts in much more depth. I invite you to delve into it as part of your journey towards increased wisdom and respect.

Remember, ageing is inevitable. But growing wiser and gaining respect? That’s a choice. A choice that’s determined by the behaviors we hold onto, and the ones we let go of.

So consider these behaviors. Reflect on them. See what resonates with you and what doesn’t. Then decide for yourself what you want to bring with you as you age, and what needs to be left behind.

Because at the end of the day, it’s your journey. And only you have the power to shape it into a path towards wisdom and respect.