If you want more love from your children as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | May 8, 2025, 3:05 pm

When your kids say “I love you”, you feel like you’re on top of the world. But as you grow older, those three little words seem to come fewer and farther between.

It’s not as simple as it seems, though. The art of receiving love from your children as you age is a delicate dance that requires introspection, change, and saying goodbye to certain behaviors.

This doesn’t come easy to everyone. But those who do manage to successfully navigate this complex terrain often share one thing in common – they’ve let go of these 8 specific behaviors.

So, sit tight as we delve into what these behaviors are. Who knows? You might just find the key to unlocking more love from your children in your golden years.

1) Saying “because I said so”

Remember when your parents used to pull the “because I said so” card? You probably didn’t like it as a kid, and guess what? Your children don’t either.

This phrase, though seemingly harmless, can create a wall of misunderstanding between you and your children.

It shuts down communication and implies that your authority is not to be questioned, which can strain your relationship with them.

Instead, try to explain your reasoning. It might take a few extra minutes, but it shows your children that you respect their curiosity and their right to understand the world around them.

As you age, this mutual respect will translate into more love from your children. They’ll remember you as someone who took the time to explain things, who respected their thoughts, and who valued their understanding.

And isn’t that what we all want when we get older – to be remembered fondly by our children?

2) Ignoring their interests

I remember when my son first got into video games. To me, it seemed like a complete waste of time. I mean, how could sitting in front of a screen, pushing buttons, possibly be beneficial?

But instead of dismissing his new hobby, I decided to give it a try. One day, I sat down beside him and asked him to teach me how to play.

That day, I saw a spark in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. He was excited to share his world with me, and even though I was terrible at the game, we laughed and bonded over it.

Fast forward to today, and that shared experience has brought us closer together. He knows that I value his interests and that I’m willing to step out of my comfort zone for him.

The lesson here? Don’t dismiss your children’s interests just because they don’t align with yours. Embrace them, learn from them, and you might just find your relationship with your kids growing stronger as you age.

3) Neglecting to apologize

Apologies aren’t just for when you accidentally step on someone’s toe or forget a birthday. They’re an important part of maintaining healthy relationships, especially with your children.

According to experts, parents who apologize to their kids foster a more respectful and empathetic environment. It teaches your children that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you take responsibility for them.

So the next time you lose your temper or make a mistake, don’t brush it off. Apologize to your children, show them that you’re human and that everyone makes mistakes.

This simple act can significantly strengthen your bond with your kids as you grow older.

4) Avoiding difficult conversations

It’s natural to want to protect your children from the harsh realities of life. But avoiding difficult conversations can actually do more harm than good.

When we avoid talking about tough topics, we inadvertently send a message to our children that these subjects are taboo or too scary to discuss.

This can leave them feeling confused or anxious when they inevitably encounter these situations in the real world.

Instead, aim for open and honest communication with your children, no matter how uncomfortable the topic might be.

This will not only equip them with the knowledge to navigate difficult situations but also foster a sense of trust between you and your kids.

As you get older, this trust can translate into more love and respect from your children. They’ll remember you as someone who didn’t shy away from teaching them about life, even when it was hard.

5) Being too critical

I’ll be the first to admit, there have been times when I’ve been overly critical of my children. I wanted them to succeed, to be the best they can be, and in my mind, criticism was a way to help them improve.

However, I’ve come to realize that being too critical can often do more harm than good. It can lead to lower self-esteem in children and create a feeling of constant dissatisfaction.

Now, I make a conscious effort to balance criticism with praise. I ensure my children know that while there’s always room for improvement, I am incredibly proud of who they are and what they’ve achieved.

As you age, this balanced approach can result in a stronger bond with your children. They’ll remember you as someone who appreciated their efforts and recognized their worth, resulting in more love flowing your way.

6) Overprotecting your kids

As parents, it’s only natural to want to protect our children from any harm or distress. However, sometimes, this protection can cross over into the realm of overprotection, which can actually hinder your children’s growth.

When we constantly shield our kids from challenges, we rob them of the opportunity to learn and grow from these experiences.

Over time, they may become reliant on us to solve their problems, stunting their ability to be independent.

So, every now and then, let your kids face challenges on their own. It might be hard to watch them struggle, but remember that these struggles are helping them become resilient and independent individuals.

And guess what? This independence doesn’t mean they’ll love you less as you age. In fact, they’ll likely appreciate you more for giving them the space to grow and learn on their own.

7) Comparing them to others

We’ve all heard the saying “comparison is the thief of joy”. This couldn’t be truer when it comes to relationships with our children.

When we compare our children to their peers, siblings, or even to ourselves at their age, we not only damage their self-esteem but also create a wedge in our relationship with them.

They may start to feel that they need to compete for our approval, which can lead to resentment.

Instead, encourage your children to be the best version of themselves. Celebrate their individuality and unique achievements. This will not only boost their self-confidence but also strengthen your bond with them.

As you grow older, having nurtured this sense of individuality in your children can lead to a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with them.

8) Not showing enough love

At the end of the day, the most important thing you can do to receive more love from your children as you age is to show them love. Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a verb. It’s about the actions you take and the words you say.

So, don’t hold back. Tell your children you love them often, and show it through your actions. Hug them, listen to them, be there for them.

Love breeds love. The more you give, the more you’ll receive in return.

Embracing change for a stronger bond

As we journey through this winding path called parenting, it’s crucial to remember that love is a two-way street. It’s about giving and receiving in equal measures.

Discarding old, unhelpful behaviors might seem challenging at first, but the rewards are immense.

A strengthened bond with your children, a deeper understanding of each other, and a love that grows stronger with each passing year.

Remember, the beauty of life lies in its ability to change, to evolve. As parents, our relationship with our children must also undergo this evolution.

So, let’s embrace change. Let’s say goodbye to these 8 behaviors and open our hearts to the possibility of receiving more love from our children as we age.

Because in the end, isn’t that what truly matters? The love we share with our children and the memories we create together. That is our true legacy.