There’s a fine line between being open in conversation and oversharing. That line is often a defining factor of class and taste.

Bringing up certain topics in conversation can be a red flag, suggesting that the speaker lacks a certain level of class and decorum.

Now, we all know the classic taboo topics like religion, politics, and money. But there are subtler signs that a person lacks class in their conversational habits.

In this article, I’ll be breaking down seven topics that, when brought up in casual conversation, might indicate a lack of class.

This isn’t about judging people, it’s about understanding the impact our words can have on the way others perceive us.

So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and let’s dive into the nuances of what makes a conversation classy or crass.

1) Personal drama

There’s a place for discussing personal issues, and it’s not in casual conversation.

A person with class understands the importance of boundaries. They know that personal drama can quickly turn a light-hearted chat into an uncomfortable therapy session.

It’s not about keeping secrets or being fake. It’s about understanding that there’s a time and place for everything. And airing your dirty laundry in public is neither classy nor considerate to the other person.

If someone frequently steers the conversation towards their personal melodramas, it might be indicative of a lack of class. It shows a disregard for the comfort of others and a failure to grasp basic social etiquette.

Remember, every conversation is a two-way street. Don’t monopolize it with your personal issues. Instead, keep it light, engaging, and respectful of the other person’s comfort level.

2) Gossip

We’ve all been there. You’re in a casual conversation, and suddenly the other person starts dishing out juicy details about someone else’s life.

I remember once I was at a dinner party, and a person I’d just met started spilling all sorts of personal details about our mutual acquaintance. It wasn’t just uncomfortable; it was downright rude.

Gossiping is a clear indicator of a lack of class. A classy person understands the importance of respecting other people’s privacy, and they certainly wouldn’t use gossip as a conversation starter or filler.

The next time you’re in a conversation and feel the urge to gossip, take a moment to consider how it reflects on you. Because class isn’t just about what you say; it’s also about what you choose not to say.

3) Money

Money, while a necessity in life, is a topic that can quickly turn a conversation sour.

Discussing salaries, flaunting wealth, or conversely, complaining about lack of funds, can make others uncomfortable. It creates an imbalance in the conversation and can lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment.

People are more likely to lie when talking about their income as compared to other topics. This indicates how sensitive and personal the topic of money is for many people.

A person with class knows that money-related discussions are best kept for appropriate settings and certainly not as casual conversation fodder.

They understand that the value of a person is not determined by their bank account balance but by their character and actions.

4) Controversial topics

There’s a famous saying: “Never discuss religion or politics in polite company.”

This is because controversial topics like these are highly personal and can quickly escalate into heated debates.

A person with class is aware that conversations, especially casual ones, should ideally be pleasant and enjoyable for all parties involved.

They navigate away from topics that may cause conflict or discomfort, focusing instead on neutral or universally enjoyable subjects.

However, this doesn’t mean one should shy away from meaningful or deep conversations. The key is to approach them with respect, allow for differing opinions, and avoid turning the discussion into a battle of right and wrong.

5) Appearance

Once, I had a friend who made it a point to comment on my appearance every time we met. Whether it was about my hairstyle, my weight, or my fashion choices, she always had something to say.

Eventually, it started feeling less like friendly banter and more like a constant judgement. It was draining.

Focusing on someone’s appearance during a conversation can be a sign of lack of class. It’s one thing to compliment someone genuinely, but it’s entirely different to constantly comment, critique or compare looks.

A classy person understands that everyone is unique in their own way and respects that. They don’t judge people by their looks but by their actions and words. After all, true beauty lies within.

6) Negativity

Negativity can be infectious, and it’s a surefire way to bring down the mood of a conversation.

If someone constantly focuses on the negatives in life, complaining about their job, their relationships, or the world in general, it can be a sign of a lack of class.

A person with class tries to maintain a positive outlook and focuses on solutions rather than problems. They understand that everyone has their own struggles and that dwelling on negatives won’t improve the situation.

Bringing positivity to a conversation not only uplifts those around you but also reflects well on your character. Remember, it’s not about ignoring the bad, but rather about choosing to focus on the good.

7) Others’ shortcomings

The fastest way to reveal a lack of class in a conversation is by highlighting other people’s shortcomings.

A classy person knows that everyone makes mistakes and has their own set of weaknesses. They don’t use these as conversational ammunition but choose to uplift others instead.

Discussing others’ shortcomings isn’t just rude; it shows a lack of empathy and understanding. It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect, and we all have our own journeys and lessons to learn.

So, the next time you’re in a conversation, keep this in mind. Focus on the positive, respect boundaries, and remember that your words can leave a lasting impression.

Final thought: The mirror effect

As we navigate the labyrinth of social interactions, it’s essential to remember one fundamental truth – the way we converse is a mirror of our character.

The American author and speaker, John C. Maxwell, once said, “People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.”

This statement rings true in every conversation we have.

When someone consistently leans towards the seven topics we’ve discussed, it may not just indicate a lack of class but also a reflection of their attitude towards others and themselves.

Conversations are more than mere exchanges of words. They are opportunities for us to connect, learn, and grow. And it’s in our hands to make them meaningful, respectful, and classy.

So the next time you find yourself in a conversation, whether casual or deep, think about what your words are reflecting. Because at the end of the day, our words shape our world.