Remember when your parents used to say, “Respect your elders. They know best”?

Well, it’s not always the case.

Sometimes, it’s the older generation that could use a little guidance, especially when it comes to handling the changing dynamics of parent-child relationships in today’s world.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve got nothing against boomers.

I mean, they’ve seen and experienced life in ways we can only imagine.

But sometimes, their habits and behaviors might unintentionally push their own children away.

In this article, we’re delving into some psychology-backed habits of boomers that might be causing their kids to avoid them.

However, it’s not just about pointing out the negatives.

We’ll also be discussing how a bit of self-awareness and a few small changes can help mend these strained relationships.

So if you’re a boomer wondering “Why does my kid avoid me?” or just someone trying to understand this generational gap better, stick around.

You might find the insights you need right here.

Just remember – it’s never too late to change habits and improve relationships. After all, who doesn’t want a harmonious family dynamic?

1) Overbearing nature

Boomers grew up in a different era – one that was more disciplined, structured, and often less flexible.

This upbringing often translates into an overbearing nature in their parenting style.

They may feel the need to control every aspect of their children’s lives, even when they’ve grown into adults themselves.

In their minds, they’re just trying to guide their children.

What they often fail to realize is that this constant need for control might be suffocating for their kids, pushing them away instead of bringing them closer.

Psychology says that autonomy is a fundamental need for humans.

By constantly directing their children’s actions and decisions, boomers might be depriving them of this autonomy, causing resentment over time.

The key lies in finding a balance – offering guidance when asked for, while allowing children the freedom to make their own choices and learn from their own mistakes.

2) Digital disconnect

Now, let me share something personal.

My own folks, bless them, are true blue boomers.

And I’ve noticed a certain habit that often causes a bit of friction between us – their unfamiliarity with digital technology.

They’ve always struggled with technology, be it smartphones, laptops or even the TV remote!

I used to find it amusing at first, but over time, it became a source of frustration.

I realized it wasn’t just about them asking for help to set up their Facebook account or to download an app on their phone. It was about the widening gap in our communication.

The digital world is an integral part of our lives now. It’s how we connect, communicate and stay updated with the world around us.

When they’re not a part of this world, they not only miss out on what’s happening in our lives but also fail to understand our perspective on many things.

Understanding and adapting to digital technology might seem daunting for boomers.

But even a small step, like learning to video call or use social media, can go a long way in bridging this gap and keeping the lines of communication open with their children.

3) Unwillingness to adapt

Change. It’s a part of life, right? Yet, how many of us truly embrace it?

Especially when it comes to our habits and beliefs.

A common habit I’ve noticed with boomers is a certain resistance to change.

They hold onto their ways of thinking and doing things, often dismissing new ideas or methods as unnecessary or frivolous.

This might not seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but trust me, it can create quite a rift in relationships over time.

When boomers refuse to adapt to the changing times and continue to stick to their old-school methods, it can feel like they’re not just rejecting new ideas, but also the people who propose those ideas – in this case, their own children.

This unwillingness to adapt can stem from fear or discomfort with the unfamiliar.

But growth lies outside our comfort zone, doesn’t it?

Adapting doesn’t mean boomers have to throw out their values or traditions.

It’s more about being open to new perspectives and understanding that there’s more than one way to do things.

This openness can build stronger bridges of understanding and empathy between them and their children.

4) Reluctance to discuss emotions

Emotions. They’re a part of who we are, yet so many of us struggle with expressing them.

This is particularly true for many boomers.

They grew up in an era when discussing feelings and emotions was often seen as a sign of vulnerability, not strength.

As a result, they might find it difficult to navigate emotional conversations with their children.

They might shy away from discussing personal issues, showing empathy, or even just having a heart-to-heart chat.

Unfortunately, this reluctance can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of distance. It can make their children feel unheard or misunderstood.

It’s important to remember that emotions aren’t a weakness.

Opening up about feelings doesn’t make boomers any less strong or resilient. On the contrary, it makes them human and relatable.

Taking the first step towards emotional conversations might be difficult, but it’s a step worth taking for the sake of stronger, deeper relationships with their children.

5) Constantly comparing generations

Did you know that each generation is shaped by the social, economic, and political environment they grow up in?

It’s fascinating how our worldviews are influenced by these factors.

Yet, a common habit among boomers is to compare their generation with the newer ones, often highlighting how things were better ‘back in their day’.

Sure, every generation has its strengths and weaknesses.

But constant comparisons can make their children feel belittled or invalidated.

It can come across as a dismissal of their struggles and experiences.

Let’s not forget that today’s world is vastly different from the one boomers grew up in.

The challenges faced by each generation are unique and can’t be compared on a like-to-like basis.

Understanding this can help boomers refrain from making sweeping comparisons and instead empathize with the unique issues their children might be dealing with in today’s world.

6) Unrealistic expectations

We all want the best for our loved ones, don’t we? And boomers are no different.

In their quest to see their children succeed, they might often set high standards and expectations.

They believe in their children’s potential and want them to reach for the stars.

It’s a testament to their love and faith in their kids.

However, these expectations can sometimes become a burden.

Their children might feel immense pressure to live up to these standards, often at the cost of their own dreams and aspirations.

It’s essential for boomers to understand that success has different definitions for everyone.

What they consider success might not be the same for their children. And that’s okay.

Supporting their children’s dreams and respecting their choices can go a long way in fostering a positive relationship.

This understanding can create a supportive environment where their children feel free to chart their own course, knowing they have their parents’ unconditional support.

7) Lack of active listening

Active listening is more than just hearing what the other person is saying.

It’s about truly understanding the message, showing empathy, and responding in a way that makes the speaker feel valued and heard.

Unfortunately, boomers might sometimes fall short in this aspect.

They might listen with the intent to reply, not to understand.

In doing so, they might unintentionally invalidate their children’s feelings or experiences.

Every conversation is an opportunity to understand and connect with your child better.

By practicing active listening, boomers can make their children feel valued and respected, strengthening their bond in the process.

Final reflections

If you’ve recognized a bit of yourself in these habits, don’t worry. Awareness is the first step to change.

Remember, it’s never too late to evolve and grow. These habits need not define your relationship with your children.

With a bit of empathy, understanding, and willingness to change, you can bridge the generational gap and forge stronger bonds.

Start by acknowledging these habits. Reflect on how they might be affecting your relationships.

Once you identify these patterns, you can consciously work towards altering them.

Ask yourself – Am I really listening? Am I open to new ideas? Do I respect my child’s individuality?

Change won’t happen overnight. It’s a journey, not a destination.

But every small step you take towards understanding and accepting your children for who they are can make a world of difference.

In the end, it’s all about love, respect, and understanding. After all, isn’t that what family is all about?

Embark on this journey with an open mind and heart.

You might be surprised by how much you learn about yourself and your children along the way.

And who knows? You might just find that this journey brings you closer to your children than ever before.