Some people seem to have unlocked the secret to a long and happy life. But it’s not really a secret at all—it’s just good habits.

And one of the most important times to set yourself up for success? The evening.

What you do before bed can shape your mood, your health, and even how well your brain functions over time. Science backs this up—small, intentional habits in the evening can make a big difference in the long run.

The good news? You don’t need a complete lifestyle overhaul. Just a few simple changes to your nightly routine can help you feel better, think clearer, and maybe even add years to your life.

Here are 10 evening habits of people who are on track for a long and happy life—according to psychology.

1) Establish a calming nighttime routine

Most people wind down at the end of the day by scrolling through their phones or watching TV. But if you want to set yourself up for a long and happy life, it pays to be more intentional about your evening routine.

Psychologists have found that creating a calming nighttime ritual helps reduce stress, improve sleep, and even boost overall well-being. As Carl Jung once said, “The greatest tragedy of the family is the unlived lives of the parents.”

In other words, if we don’t take care of ourselves—both physically and mentally—we’re not just harming our own future, but also the people around us.

A simple way to start? Swap out screen time for a relaxing habit like reading, journaling, or practicing mindfulness. Your body and mind will thank you in the long run.

2) Prioritize good sleep

For a long time, I told myself I could get by on just five or six hours of sleep. I’d stay up late watching TV or working, then drag myself out of bed in the morning, running on caffeine and willpower.

But after a while, it caught up with me. I felt sluggish, irritable, and no matter how much coffee I drank, I couldn’t shake the brain fog. That’s when I started taking sleep seriously—and it completely changed my energy, mood, and focus.

Psychologists have long emphasized the importance of sleep for both mental and physical health. As William James once said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

And the truth is, when we’re sleep-deprived, making good choices—about food, work, relationships, or anything else—becomes so much harder.

Now, I stick to a consistent bedtime and avoid screens at least 30 minutes before bed. The difference has been life-changing. If you want to live a long and happy life, getting enough quality sleep isn’t optional—it’s essential.

3) Let go of the day’s stress

I used to carry my stress with me long after the day was over. I’d replay conversations in my head, worry about things outside my control, and let anxiety keep me up at night. Even when I was physically in bed, my mind was still racing.

It took me a long time to realize that holding onto stress wasn’t making me more productive or prepared—it was just making me exhausted.

Sigmund Freud once said, “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” And while that’s a comforting thought, it’s hard to see the beauty in the struggle when you’re drowning in it every night.

Now, I make a conscious effort to let go before bed. Sometimes that means journaling out my thoughts, sometimes it’s deep breathing or a short walk. It’s not about pretending things are perfect—it’s about giving myself permission to rest so I can face tomorrow with a clearer mind.

If you want to live a long and happy life, don’t let today’s worries steal tomorrow’s peace.

4) Practice gratitude

For a long time, I thought of gratitude as just a nice idea—something people talked about but didn’t really do. But when I finally made it a habit, I realized how much it could shift my mindset.

Now, before bed, I take a moment to reflect on a few things I’m grateful for. Sometimes it’s something big, like a meaningful conversation with a friend. Other times, it’s something small—a good cup of coffee, a beautiful sunset.

No matter what kind of day I’ve had, there’s always something to appreciate.

Psychologist Martin Seligman, one of the pioneers of positive psychology, found that simply writing down three good things each night can significantly increase happiness and reduce depressive symptoms.

As he put it, “When we take time to notice the good things around us, we become happier.”

It’s easy to end the day dwelling on what went wrong or what still needs to be done. But making gratitude a habit shifts your focus to what’s already good in your life—and over time, that makes all the difference.

5) Stop trying to be productive

For years, I felt like I had to use every spare moment to get something done. Even in the evenings, I’d squeeze in extra work, answer emails, or try to “get ahead” for the next day. I thought this was the key to success—but in reality, it was just burning me out.

It turns out, constantly chasing productivity can actually make us less happy. Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists in history, once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”

In other words, life isn’t about cramming in as much as possible—it’s about moving in the right direction at a sustainable pace.

Now, I give myself permission to slow down in the evenings. Instead of trying to “maximize” every minute, I focus on unwinding—reading a book for fun, listening to music, or just doing nothing for a little while.

Ironically, this has made me more productive during the day because I’m actually well-rested and clear-headed.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your future is to stop trying so hard and just let yourself be.

6) Spend time away from screens

It’s so easy to lose track of time scrolling through your phone or watching TV in the evening. I used to tell myself it was my way of unwinding—but the truth is, I often felt worse afterward. My mind was overstimulated, my sleep suffered, and I wasn’t really relaxing at all.

Psychologists have found that too much screen time—especially before bed—can increase stress and disrupt sleep. As B.F. Skinner once said, “The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.”

And when we constantly rely on screens to fill every quiet moment, we don’t give our minds the space to truly rest.

Now, I make it a habit to put my phone away at least 30 minutes before bed. Instead, I’ll read, stretch, or just sit with my thoughts. It’s a small change, but it’s helped me sleep better and feel more present in my own life.

If you want to live a long and happy life, don’t let screens control your evenings—take back that time for yourself.

7) Connect with loved ones

There was a time when my evenings were mostly spent alone, either working late or mindlessly watching TV. I told myself I was just too busy to check in with friends or family.

But over time, I started to feel isolated—even on days when I’d been around people all day.

Psychologists have long known that strong relationships are one of the biggest predictors of happiness and longevity.

As Abraham Maslow once said, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” And nothing brings you into the present quite like a real conversation with someone who matters to you.

Now, I make an effort to connect in the evenings—whether it’s a quick call to a family member, a dinner with friends, or even just checking in with my partner about our day. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture; even small moments of connection can make a huge difference.

A long and happy life isn’t just about taking care of yourself—it’s about nurturing the relationships that make life meaningful.

8) Accept what you didn’t get done

For the longest time, I ended my days feeling like I hadn’t done enough.

No matter how much I crossed off my to-do list, there was always something left unfinished—an email I didn’t reply to, a workout I skipped, a goal I didn’t make progress on. And instead of winding down, I’d lay in bed replaying everything I should have done.

But here’s the truth: There will always be more to do. No one ever reaches the end of their life wishing they had checked more boxes.

Psychologist Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), once said, “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” And that applies not just to loving others, but to loving yourself—even on the days when you feel like you fell short.

Now, before bed, I remind myself that I did what I could—and that’s enough. Some nights, that’s easier said than done. But learning to accept unfinished tasks with grace has brought me more peace than any productivity hack ever could.

If you want to live a long and happy life, don’t let undone tasks steal your rest. Tomorrow is another chance—you don’t have to carry today’s weight with you.

9) Embrace boredom

For a long time, I avoided boredom like the plague. The moment I had nothing to do, I’d reach for my phone, turn on the TV, or distract myself in some way. I felt like I always needed to be entertained or productive—anything but bored.

But here’s the counterintuitive truth: A little boredom is actually good for you.

Psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, best known for his work on flow states, once said, “Control of consciousness determines the quality of life.”

And when we constantly fill every quiet moment with stimulation, we lose that control. We don’t give our minds space to wander, reflect, or be creative.

Now, I let myself just be in the evenings. Sometimes that means sitting in silence for a few minutes, sometimes it means staring out the window without rushing to grab my phone. And what I’ve found is that boredom isn’t empty—it’s actually where some of my best ideas and clearest thoughts come from.

If you want to live a long and happy life, don’t run from boredom—embrace it. Your mind needs the quiet just as much as your body needs rest.

10) Reflect on the bigger picture

Some nights, I catch myself getting caught up in the little frustrations of the day—the email that annoyed me, the errand I didn’t have time for, the thing I said that I wish I could take back. It’s so easy to get lost in the small stuff and forget what actually matters.

That’s why I’ve started ending my evenings by stepping back and looking at the bigger picture.

I ask myself simple questions: Did I show up for the people who matter? Did I do something—no matter how small—that moves me toward the life I want?

This habit helps me shift my focus from daily stress to long-term meaning.

Viktor Frankl, the renowned psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, once said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’” When we take time to reflect on our deeper purpose, the little frustrations lose their grip on us.

If you want to live a long and happy life, don’t let the small stresses of today make you forget what you’re really here for. End your evenings by reconnecting with what truly matters.