There’s a fine line between compromise and self-sacrifice in a relationship.

This line distinguishes between the healthy adjustments we make for our partners and the harmful ones that are crossed into the terrain of self-compromise.

Being in a relationship, whether it’s been a few months or decades, doesn’t mean you should let your boundaries blur.

Setting clear boundaries with your spouse or partner is a necessity for maintaining your self-respect and ensuring the health of your relationship.

In this piece, I’ll be sharing seven boundaries you should never permit your spouse or partner to overstep, regardless of how long you’ve been together.

Because, no matter where in the world you are, or what language you speak, respecting boundaries is universal.

Remember, it’s not about limiting each other, it’s about growing together while still being able to stand strong as individuals.

1) Personal space

Respect for personal space is foundational in any relationship.

Whether it’s physical or emotional, everyone needs a little room to breathe. It doesn’t mean you’re shutting out your partner; it’s about preserving your individuality within the relationship.

Remember, it’s not just about physical boundaries. Emotional space is equally important.

Expecting your partner to be your sole emotional support or expecting them to share every single detail of their life with you can be just as invasive as violating their physical space.

Never let your spouse or partner cross this boundary. It’s essential for maintaining a balance between your personal needs and the needs of the relationship.

Respecting personal space isn’t about creating distance, but about fostering an environment where both of you can thrive as individuals and as a couple.

2) Choices and freedom

This one hits close to home for me.

I remember a time when my partner would question every choice I made, from the clothes I wore to the friends I chose to spend time with. It felt suffocating, as if I was losing my sense of individuality and freedom.

Remember this: making choices is a personal right, and no one, not even your spouse or partner, should control or excessively criticize your decisions.

Of course, it’s okay for your partner to share their opinions and concerns. But they should never dictate your choices or limit your freedom.

Maintaining this boundary helped me regain my sense of self and improved our relationship significantly. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me ever since.

So, never let your partner cross the boundary of controlling your choices and freedom. It’s important to stand up for yourself and ensure that your voice is always heard.

3) Privacy

In this era of digital connectivity, privacy has taken on a whole new importance.

Even within a relationship, maintaining a certain level of privacy is crucial.

This includes not snooping on your partner’s phone or email, respecting their private conversations, and understanding that some parts of their life may not involve you.

Did you know that according to a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, 27% of internet users in a marriage or committed relationship have felt that their spouse or partner was distracted by their cellphone when they were together?

It’s a clear indication that digital boundaries are just as important as physical ones.

Let’s not forget that trust is the foundation of any relationship. And without privacy, there can be no trust. So, keep this boundary intact for a healthy and respectful relationship.

4) Past mistakes

We all have a past, and it’s often filled with mistakes.

These are lessons learned, not ammunition for your partner to use during arguments. The boundary of bringing up past mistakes should be one that is firmly set in your relationship.

Continually digging up past mistakes does nothing but harm, creating resentment and preventing growth. It’s like driving a car while only looking in the rearview mirror – it’s bound to lead to a crash.

Don’t let your spouse or partner cross this line. Encourage open communication and forgiveness instead. After all, we’re all human and bound to make mistakes. What matters is how we learn and grow from them.

5) Self-care and personal time

In my early years of being in a relationship, I often found myself sidestepping my needs and passions to accommodate my partner’s schedule and interests. It was a constant juggling act, and before I knew it, I was burnt out.

It’s essential to have a boundary around your personal time and self-care routines. Whether it’s going to the gym, reading a book, or simply spending some alone time, these moments are sacred for your well-being.

It’s not selfish to prioritize your needs and it doesn’t mean you love your partner any less. It’s about maintaining your individuality and mental health.

So, never let your spouse or partner cross this boundary. Encourage each other to indulge in personal time and self-care. Because the healthier you are as an individual, the healthier your relationship can be.

6) Respectful communication

Every relationship will have disagreements and arguments – it’s a part of life. But how you communicate during these times is what truly matters.

Your spouse or partner should never cross the boundary of respectful communication. This means no name-calling, belittling, or disrespectful comments.

Even in the heat of an argument, it’s important to remember that your words can have a lasting impact. Disagreements should be about resolving issues, not causing harm.

Ensure this boundary is clear in your relationship. It promotes a healthy dynamic where both of you feel heard and respected, even when you don’t see eye to eye.

7) Emotional and physical boundaries

This is perhaps the most critical boundary of all.

Your spouse or partner should never cross the line into emotional or physical abuse. This includes any form of manipulation, control, intimidation, or violence.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness, love, and respect at all times. Any form of abuse is not acceptable, and it’s important to seek help if you find yourself in such a situation.

Your well-being matters. Stand firm on this boundary – it’s not just about the health of your relationship, but your own personal health and safety too.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

The fabric of a healthy, lasting relationship is woven with threads of mutual respect.

Respect is the cornerstone that upholds boundaries. It paves the way for open communication, empathy, and understanding. It allows for individual growth, even within the shared space of a relationship.

According to Dr. John Gottman, world-renowned relationship expert, contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce. Contempt, the opposite of respect, erodes the foundation of love and trust that relationships are built on.

Setting and respecting boundaries is not about creating walls or pushing your partner away. It’s about building bridges of mutual understanding and respect.

Never forget that it’s okay to stand your ground when it comes to your boundaries. They are an integral part of who you are and they deserve to be respected, always.

Remember, a relationship doesn’t mean losing your individuality. It’s about two unique individuals sharing a journey, while respecting each other’s paths.

So, as you reflect on these boundaries, remember that they aren’t limitations but markers of respect and love for yourself and your partner.