7 boundaries you should never allow a friend to cross (no matter how close you are)

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | March 3, 2025, 1:36 pm

Friendship is built on trust, respect, and understanding. But no matter how close you are to someone, there are certain lines that should never be crossed.

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about making sure your relationships stay healthy and balanced. The truth is, real friends will respect your limits, not test them.

It’s easy to overlook small red flags when you care about someone, but ignoring them can lead to resentment and unhealthy dynamics. That’s why it’s important to know where to draw the line.

Here are seven boundaries you should never allow a friend to cross—no matter how close you are.

1) Disrespecting your time

Time is one of the most valuable things we have, and a real friend will respect yours.

Whether it’s constantly showing up late, canceling plans at the last minute, or always expecting you to drop everything for them, a friend who doesn’t value your time is showing a lack of respect.

Of course, life happens—sometimes people get caught up in things. But if someone repeatedly disregards your time without considering how it affects you, that’s a boundary worth setting.

A good friendship should feel mutual, not one-sided. If you find yourself always adjusting to their schedule while they never do the same for you, it might be time for a conversation.

2) Making you feel guilty for saying no

A good friend respects your choices—even when you say no.

I once had a friend who would always guilt-trip me whenever I couldn’t do something she asked. If I was too busy to meet up, she’d say things like, “Oh, I guess I’m just not that important to you.” If I didn’t want to lend her money, she’d remind me of all the times she had helped me in the past.

At first, I gave in because I didn’t want to seem selfish. But over time, I realized that a real friend wouldn’t make me feel bad for setting boundaries. Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care—it just means you have limits.

Friendship should never come with emotional manipulation. If someone constantly makes you feel guilty for setting boundaries, it’s a sign they don’t truly respect them.

3) Ignoring your personal growth

True friends support each other’s growth, not hold each other back.

Studies have shown that the people you surround yourself with can significantly influence your habits, mindset, and even success.

If a friend belittles your goals, discourages your ambitions, or makes fun of your efforts to improve yourself, that’s a serious red flag.

It’s natural for friendships to evolve as people grow, but a real friend will celebrate your progress—not make you feel bad for changing. If someone constantly downplays your achievements or tries to keep you in the same place, they might not have your best interests at heart.

4) Sharing things you told them in confidence

Trust is the foundation of any strong friendship. If a friend shares your personal conversations with others without your permission, they’re breaking that trust.

Everyone needs a safe space to open up without worrying that their words will be repeated. Whether it’s a personal struggle, a secret, or just something you weren’t ready to share publicly, your friend should respect that boundary.

If you find out that someone is casually sharing things you told them in confidence, it’s a sign they don’t take your trust seriously. And without trust, a friendship can quickly fall apart.

5) Making everything about them

Friendship should be a two-way street, where both people feel heard and valued. But some friends have a way of making every conversation, every problem, and every moment about them.

You could be opening up about something difficult, and somehow, they’ll find a way to shift the focus back to their own experiences. Y

ou could be celebrating an achievement, and instead of being happy for you, they’ll start talking about their own successes—or worse, downplaying yours.

Over time, this kind of dynamic can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant.

A good friend knows how to listen, not just wait for their turn to talk. If someone constantly makes you feel like your thoughts and feelings don’t matter, it’s worth asking yourself if they’re really being a friend at all.

6) Dismissing your feelings

Your feelings are valid, and a real friend will acknowledge them—even if they don’t fully understand.

If a friend constantly tells you that you’re overreacting, too sensitive, or that you should just get over it, they’re not respecting your emotions. Everyone experiences things differently, and just because they wouldn’t feel the same way doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real.

A supportive friend listens, tries to understand, and respects how something affects you. If someone repeatedly dismisses your emotions instead of offering support, that’s a boundary worth reinforcing.

7) Refusing to apologize

No one is perfect—we all make mistakes. But a friend who refuses to apologize when they’ve hurt you is showing you that their pride matters more than your feelings.

A genuine apology isn’t about saying the right words just to move on; it’s about taking responsibility and making an effort to do better. If someone consistently avoids accountability, shifts the blame, or acts like you’re wrong for feeling upset, they’re not respecting your boundaries.

Friendship isn’t about never messing up—it’s about caring enough to make things right when you do.

Bottom line: Respect is the foundation

At the heart of every strong friendship is mutual respect. Without it, even the closest relationships can become draining and unbalanced.

Psychologists have long emphasized the importance of boundaries in maintaining healthy connections. Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re guidelines that help protect your well-being while allowing relationships to thrive.

A true friend won’t push past your limits or make you feel guilty for having them. Instead, they’ll respect your space, value your time, and support your growth.

If someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries, it’s worth asking yourself: Is this friendship bringing me peace or stress?

Because at the end of the day, real friendships should feel like a safe place—not something you have to constantly defend.