8 behaviors of people who have a high success rate in online dating, says psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | January 9, 2025, 1:20 pm

Online dating can feel like navigating through a maze of potential matches, and not everyone comes out victorious on the other side.

But here’s a little secret: some people just seem to have a knack for it.

They aren’t necessarily more attractive or interesting, but they do have certain behaviors that increase their success rate.

You see, these successful daters understand the art of online communication.

They know when to swipe right, how to initiate conversations and when to take things offline.

As Tina Fey, the founder of the Love Connection blog and relationship expert, I’ve noticed these winning strategies time and again.

And now, I’m going to share them with you.

Here are eight behaviors that people with high success rates in online dating tend to exhibit, as backed by psychology.

These tips might just turn your luck around in the digital dating world.

1) They understand the importance of a good profile picture

In the world of online dating, your profile picture is your first impression.

It’s the visual representation of who you are, and in many cases, it can make or break your chances of getting a match.

But it’s not just about looking attractive – successful online daters understand that their profile picture should also reflect their personality and lifestyle.

It’s not about posting the most glamorous or professionally taken shot of you.

Instead, it’s about choosing a picture that genuinely represents who you are.

It could be a photo of you enjoying your favorite hobby or simply a nice, clear headshot with a friendly smile.

Authenticity attracts. So choose a profile picture that is genuinely you, and you’ll attract people who are genuinely interested in getting to know you.

2) They’re not afraid to make the first move

Successful online daters don’t just sit back and wait for things to happen.

They take the initiative, sending that first message or swiping right on profiles they find interesting.

Sure, it can be a bit nerve-wracking, and the fear of rejection is real.

But remember what the great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

When I started my online dating journey, I was hesitant to make the first move.

But then I realized that by waiting for others to reach out first, I was limiting my opportunities.

So, I took a leap of faith and sent that first message. And guess what? It worked!

Don’t be shy. Be proactive. You never know where that first message might lead you in your online dating journey.

3) They maintain a positive, open-minded attitude

In online dating, just like in life, attitude is everything.

And people who have high success rates in online dating are those who maintain a positive, open-minded outlook.

Sure, you might encounter a few duds before you find the right match. You could even experience rejection.

But successful online daters don’t let these experiences discourage them.

Instead, they view each interaction as a learning opportunity and keep moving forward.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about the importance of maintaining a positive mindset in relationships.

And it’s no different when it comes to online dating.

Stay positive, keep an open mind, and remember to enjoy the journey.

Because when it comes to finding love online, it’s not just about the destination, but also the journey.

4) They don’t rush the process

In a world where we’re used to instant gratification, this might sound counterintuitive.

But successful online daters understand the importance of patience.

Online dating is not about rushing to find the perfect match within the shortest time possible.

It’s about taking your time, getting to know different people, and figuring out what you really want in a partner.

Rushing things can lead to hasty decisions and potential heartbreak.

But when you take your time, you give yourself a chance to make wiser choices, and ultimately, find a relationship that’s truly fulfilling.

Slow down, take your time, and remember – good things come to those who wait.

5) They know how to communicate effectively

Communication is key in any relationship, and online dating is no exception.

Successful online daters know how to express themselves clearly and respectfully.

But effective communication goes beyond just sending messages.

It’s about actively listening, showing empathy, and understanding the other person’s perspective.

I’ll confess, when I first started dating online, my communication skills weren’t the best.

I was more focused on expressing myself than trying to understand the other person.

But over time, I learned the importance of active listening and empathy in building meaningful connections. That shift made all the difference.

Whether you’re crafting that first message or deep into a conversation, remember to communicate effectively.

It can make all the difference in your online dating journey.

6) They’re honest about their intentions

Let’s face it – we’re all looking for different things when it comes to online dating.

Some of us want a serious relationship, some are looking for casual dating, and others just want to make new friends.

And that’s okay. What’s important is being honest about your intentions from the start.

Successful online daters understand this. They’re upfront about what they’re looking for, so they attract the right people who are looking for the same thing.

Being dishonest or vague about your intentions might seem like a good strategy to keep more options open.

But in reality, it only leads to confusion and potential heartbreak.

Be raw and honest about your intentions. It might not attract everyone, but it will attract the right ones.

7) They don’t take things personally

Rejection is a part of online dating, and it can sting.

But successful online daters understand that not every interaction will lead to a romantic connection, and that’s okay.

I remember when I first started online dating, every unanswered message or unreciprocated interest felt like a personal failure.

But over time, I’ve learned to let go and not take things personally.

As Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Rejection in online dating is rarely about you as a person. It’s more about two people not being the right fit for each other.

Keep your chin up, don’t take things personally, and move on to the next potential match with optimism.

Remember, every “no” brings you one step closer to your “yes”.

8) They take care of their mental health

Online dating can be a rollercoaster of emotions. It can be exciting, fun, frustrating, and sometimes, downright exhausting.

And that’s why it’s so important to take care of your mental health throughout the process.

Successful online daters understand this. They know when to take a break, step back, and focus on self-care.

They don’t let online dating consume their life or dictate their self-worth.

Let’s be honest here – finding love online can take time and patience, and it’s easy to get caught up in the ups and downs.

But keep in mind, your mental health comes first.

You are more than your online dating profile, and your worth is not defined by how many matches you get or don’t get.

Take care of your mental health.

It’s not just good for your overall well-being, but it will also make your online dating journey a more positive and enjoyable experience.

Conclusion

Online dating doesn’t have to be a daunting task.

With the right behaviors and mindset, it can be a rewarding journey towards finding the right match.

It’s not about rushing the process or trying to please everyone.

It’s about being authentic, staying positive, and taking care of your mental health.

And most importantly, it’s about enjoying the journey, learning from each interaction, and growing as a person along the way.

For more insights on building healthy relationships and overcoming codependency, check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Happy dating!

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