I’ve lived long enough to know that some of life’s most valuable lessons don’t come from books or school—they come from struggle.

Hardship has a way of shaping humility, and I’ve found that folks who’ve never truly had to work for anything often carry themselves very differently from those who have.

Entitlement doesn’t always look flashy. It’s not just about wealth or privilege. Sometimes it’s subtle—woven into a person’s habits, their tone, their expectations of others.

So how do you spot it?

Let’s take a look.

1. They expect praise for the bare minimum

You ever meet someone who wants a trophy just for showing up? That’s entitlement talking.

I’ve worked with folks who demanded applause for doing their job. Not going above and beyond—just doing what they were hired to do. It’s like they’ve never been told, “That’s just life.”

People who’ve had to struggle? They usually don’t need validation for every little thing. They know self-respect comes from effort, not praise.

2. They crumble at the word “no”

The word “no” is kryptonite to entitled people. They take it personally, as if it’s an insult instead of a simple boundary.

I’ve seen it firsthand. A young man once yelled at a librarian because she wouldn’t waive his late fees. She was polite. He was enraged. It wasn’t about the money—it was the audacity of being told no.

People who’ve been through hard times understand rejection. They’ve heard no plenty of times—and they’ve learned to adapt.

3. They constantly center themselves

One of the easiest ways to spot entitlement? The inability to talk about anything but themselves.

You’ll be in a conversation and they’ll spin every topic back to their story, their problem, their opinion. It’s not conversation—it’s performance.

I had a coffee with someone like that a few years back. I tried to tell him about a friend who was battling cancer. His response? “That reminds me of the time I had a cold on a business trip.”

He wasn’t trying to be cruel—just completely self-absorbed.

4. They view inconvenience as injustice

Entitled people confuse discomfort with oppression. Wait five minutes? That’s “unacceptable.” Someone disagrees with them? They’re being “attacked.”

There’s a difference between facing real hardship and simply not getting your way. The former builds character. The latter builds tantrums.

I’ve mentioned this before, but gratitude and resilience often come from inconvenience—not in spite of it.

5. They never say thank you

Gratitude and entitlement don’t mix.

People who’ve struggled usually remember to say thank you. They know how it feels to be on the receiving end of kindness—and they don’t take it for granted.

Entitled folks, on the other hand, see help as something they’re owed. Whether it’s a ride, a favor, or even emotional support, they treat it like it’s part of the package.

I once held the door open for a man in a suit who walked right past me without even a nod. I wasn’t expecting a parade, but still—it said a lot.

6. They dismiss the struggles of others

People who’ve never been through anything tough themselves often lack empathy for those who have.

They’ll say things like, “Why don’t they just try harder?” or “If I can do it, anyone can”—without realizing all the unseen advantages that helped them along the way.

A young coworker once scoffed at someone using food stamps. “They should get a better job,” he muttered.

I asked him, “Ever gone to bed hungry?” He looked confused. “No, of course not.”

Exactly.

7. They treat people as tools

Entitled folks tend to view relationships transactionally. If you can’t do something for them, you’re irrelevant. If you stop being useful, they stop being kind.

But people who’ve struggled? They tend to value connection for its own sake. They’ve known what it’s like to need a friend—not just a favor.

I once helped an old friend move house. He couldn’t lift much himself, but he insisted on ordering food, packing snacks, and sitting nearby to chat. He didn’t see me as labor. He saw me as a person.

That matters.

8. They can’t apologize without shifting blame

A sincere apology is rare from someone who’s entitled. They’ll twist it, deflect it, or make it about you.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, so don’t take it personally.”
“You’re being too sensitive.”

That’s not humility—it’s avoidance.

Struggle tends to teach accountability. When you’ve had to own your mistakes, when consequences weren’t optional, you learn the value of a real apology.

9. They believe rules are for other people

Entitled individuals often act as if rules are suggestions—for other people.

They cut in lines. Park in disabled spots. Ignore deadlines. And when confronted, they act surprised. Or worse—insulted.

I remember a man at the airport who threw a fit because he wasn’t allowed to board early with first class. He wasn’t even in business class—but he “knew people,” he claimed.

Entitlement shows up in those little moments. Not in what you demand—but in how you handle limits.

10. They expect relationships to revolve around them

This one hits close to home.

I once had a friendship fall apart because the person just stopped showing up—unless he needed something. He never asked how I was, never offered support unless it benefited him.

At first, I made excuses for him. But eventually, I realized it wasn’t friendship. It was convenience—for him.

Entitled people believe they’re the center of every relationship. That others should orbit around their wants, their moods, their plans.

But real connection? It’s mutual. You give, you receive. You show up.

Final thoughts

I won’t pretend to have it all figured out, but over the years, I’ve learned that life doesn’t owe any of us a thing.

Struggle has a way of clarifying what really matters—gratitude, humility, kindness. And people who’ve never had to fight for anything often miss those lessons entirely.

So ask yourself: are you operating from expectation, or appreciation?

Because there’s a quiet strength in gratitude. And there’s a loud fragility in entitlement.

Only one of those builds character. The other just builds complaints.