What you do every day shapes who you become. 

It’s really that simple. 

But there’s a reason so many people end up not improving themselves or getting closer to happiness and achieving their goals. 

It’s because they change their obvious and big daily habits but don’t notice some of the insidious, silent habits under the surface that are still sabotaging them. 

Let’s take a look at these “sleeper habits” that silently erode your confidence and well-being in life. 

1) Comfort zone-ism 

We all need a break now and then. 

But clinging to the comfort zone in the sense of avoiding discomfort and trying our best to feel pleasant as much as possible, can actually be a big impediment to progress. 

Once you get in the habit of putting your feet up and just relaxing as a go-to behavior, you end up creating and reinforcing an image of yourself as more passive than active. 

Taken too far, this can lead to a lessening of your confidence and efficacy in the world.

2) Trend following

Another daily habit that can have deleterious effects on your self-confidence is too much following of trends. 

There is nothing wrong with liking similar things to other people and taking recommendations from friends that lead to you also becoming enthusiastic about the things your friends are. 

However if your life ends up becoming essentially a reflection of social, political, and spiritual trends that are given to you, you can end up losing your real self in the process. 

Who are you without all the information and trends that have been gifted to you?

3) Going with the flow

There is a lot of positive press out there about going with the flow. 

Granted there is a time and place to stop trying to control everything and just let life be what it is. 

But at the same time, many situations in life from the professional to the personal level do require conscious decisions and active effort. 

Deciding to go along with whatever is happening or where the zeitgeist is leading can be very disempowering and actually lessen your overall well-being and sense of self-confidence. 

Sometimes you need to make a stand and do what you want to do, not just relax and go along with what seems to be happening. 

4) People pleasing

People pleasing is an easy habit to get into. 

Especially in our day and age with social media likes and the whole polarization of politics and social issues, it is very easy to surround yourself with an echo chamber of people who assure you that you are a good person with the correct beliefs. 

You retweet and reinforce these correct beliefs never having to challenge or interpolate your more binary views. 

However this eventually can lead to lower self-confidence when you realize that a lot of your views are not actually your views. 

They are just a way to try to fit in and make people happy whose approval you want.

5) An allergy to saying no

It can be very easy to just say yes. 

There are certainly cases where being agreeable is a good idea and can avoid all sorts of unnecessary conflict. 

But at the same time, saying yes too often can be a very toxic form of people-pleasing and lead to devaluing yourself. 

By always saying yes, you put yourself in the second position where your wants and needs come second to what other people want and need. If this sounds overly simplistic, it’s not. 

In some cases you simply do need to decide: am I focused on my own priorities in Life or the priorities and life of other people. 

At times these may be congruent and complementary, but at other times they simply may not be.

6) Muddy speech

Another habit that saps your self confidence without you realizing it is if you have a tendency to speak unclearly. 

This applies to your actual pronunciation and enunciation of words, but it also applies to the way that you project your voice and speak in general. 

When you get in the habit of not talking clearly and not speaking at a loud enough volume to be heard, you end up creating an inner impression that you yourself are not worthy of being hurt and this creates a self-reinforcing loop.

7) Weak body language

Body language is one of the most important aspects of our confidence. It both reflects and shapes our confidence. 

If you have a habit of walking around with a more slumped posture, avoiding eye contact, avoiding taking up space with your body and generally being diminutive and submissive, it feeds into feeling lesser. 

In fact, this can contribute to feeling more insecure and less satisfied with yourself in both your personal and professional life.

8) Inactivity and lethargy

Passivity is one of the greatest enemies to self-confidence. 

Even the ultimate high school football champion with a perfect girlfriend and wonderful social circle can eventually start to think he is a loser if he spends too much time sitting around watching TV and feeling that he has nothing going on in his life. 

We all need activity and goals to keep us getting up in the morning and keep us on our toes. 

If you tend to think back and adopt a more passive stance it can definitely sabotage your ability to feel good about yourself and find motivation for new goals and endeavors.

9) Too much media consumption

This ties into the previous point about passivity: consuming too much media can definitely lead to a decrease in self-confidence. 

If you find that every day ends with you binge watching Netflix shows or getting cozy with Amazon prime, you may be doing more than just relaxing. 

You may be sinking into a habit of so much media consumption that you become kind of listless. 

Instead of doing this, why not try out a new hobby or go to your local community center and find a group to join?

10) Eating junk food

You are what you eat, few truer words have ever been spoken. 

When you eat a lot of junk food you end up not giving your body or mind the nutrients it needs to thrive. 

A lower sense of self-confidence and a general dull and depressed feeling is often the result of eating unhealthy foods. 

When you put unhealthy ingredients into your body on a regular basis, they also often have high sugar, salt, and fat content that makes them quite addictive. 

This then becomes part of an addictive habit cycle that you barely notice anymore but which subtly and steadily undermines your self-confidence and well-being.

11) An unhealthy schedule

When you have difficulty keeping a regular schedule, this is also a big factor in lowering self-confidence. 

Getting up at random hours of the day and going to sleep at random hours of the night does not lead to a strong sense of well-being. 

No matter how much you are succeeding in your personal or career life, it is hard to feel truly good about yourself when you are more or less winging it in terms of your schedule. 

Having a disciplined schedule is definitely part of feeling more confident and coming into your own as a confident and happy person.

12) Emotional repression

There is a piece of advice that says never to go to bed angry. It makes sense on a physical level and an emotional level. 

The truth is that emotional repression has been definitively linked to negative physical and psychological outcomes. 

When you get in a daily habit of repressing your difficult emotions, you end up self-sabotaging yourself. 

Not only does repressed anger or sadness and anxiety end up resulting in physical exhaustion, it can also build up to the point of a large outburst in which you may do or say something that you later regret or which has negative consequences for your career or personal life.

Honing your confidence

We all have off days when we’re not at our best. 

But the key to honing your confidence is to become aware of these habits that are undercutting you and replacing them with healthy habits instead. 

By taking charge of your schedule, your body language, your mindset and your emotions, you can help build a much more empowered life.