For so long, I was that guy.

You know the one:

– Always complaining
– Never satisfied
– Living in the past
– Constantly stressed.

And despite my best efforts, happiness seemed to be a distant dream.

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and an avid enthusiast of all things psychology. A few years ago, I found myself caught in a relentless cycle of negativity.

I was stuck in a job that drained me, my relationships were suffering, and my mental health was on a downward spiral. I was plagued by constant unhappiness and couldn’t figure out why.

My life took a turn when I started delving into the world of psychology and therapy. I discovered these 7 daily habits that were making me, and many others, chronically unhappy.

Through this article, I want to share these habits with you in the hope that they can help you identify and break your own cycle of unhappiness. Let’s dive right in.

1) Dwelling on negativity

This was the first habit I identified, and it was a big one.

Many of us, myself included, have a tendency to dwell on negative thoughts or experiences. We replay past mistakes in our heads or worry constantly about possible future problems.

I learned from therapists that this is known as “rumination”, and it’s a common trait among chronically unhappy people.

Rumination keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity and prevents us from moving forward.

The key to breaking free is mindfulness. This is about learning to observe your thoughts without judgment, letting them come and go without getting caught up in them.

Start with a simple mindfulness practice: When you notice yourself dwelling on negative thoughts, acknowledge them, and then intentionally shift your focus to something positive or neutral.

It takes practice, but the impact on your overall happiness can be profound.

2) Avoiding social interactions

Confession time. I used to be that guy who would rather stay at home than go out and socialize.

I convinced myself that I was just introverted, that I enjoyed my own company more than others. But in reality, I was avoiding the discomfort of social interactions. This was making me unhappier by the day.

Psychologists often point out that humans are social beings. We thrive on connections with others.

As the renowned psychologist Carl R. Rogers once said, “People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be… When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, ‘Soften the orange a bit on the right-hand corner.’ I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”

I realized that just like watching a sunset, interacting with people didn’t need to be a struggle. It was about acceptance and connection.

So, I started small. A casual coffee with a friend here, a group outing there. Slowly but surely, I began to see the beauty in our shared human experience.

3) Neglecting self-care

This habit was a tough one for me to break. I used to prioritize everything else – work, chores, obligations – over taking care of myself.

I’d skip meals, ignore my body’s need for rest, and push myself beyond my limits. I told myself that I was just being productive, but I was actually neglecting my own wellbeing.

I learned the hard way that self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. I hit a point where my health took a serious hit due to my neglectful habits.

That was a wake-up call. I started investing time in activities that rejuvenated me. It could be as simple as taking a brisk walk in the park, reading a book, or enjoying a healthy meal.

I also learned to listen to my body and give it the rest it needed. The change in my mood and overall happiness was astounding.

If you’re neglecting self-care like I used to, take this as your wake-up call.

Start with small changes and make your wellbeing a priority. You owe it to yourself.

4) Constantly comparing to others

I’ve been there. Scrolling through social media, looking at everyone else’s highlight reels, and feeling like my life just didn’t measure up.

This habit of constant comparison was feeding my unhappiness. It made me feel like I was always falling short.

A study conducted by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that people who limit their social media use experience significant decreases in feelings of depression and loneliness.

The research showed that spending less time on platforms where users tend to compare themselves to others can lead to greater well-being and life satisfaction​

The moment I realized this, I made a conscious effort to reduce the time I spent on social media and started focusing on my own journey instead.

It was liberating to let go of the need to keep up with everyone else and just be content with where I am.

If you find yourself constantly comparing your life to others, try taking a break from social media or dedicate specific time slots for it. Focus on your own growth and remember that everyone’s journey is unique.

5) Holding on to grudges

I’m no stranger to holding grudges. I used to cling on to past hurts and let them fester, convincing myself that it was justified.

But all it did was rob me of my happiness in the present.

I slowly learned that forgiveness wasn’t about the other person, it was about freeing myself from the burden of resentment.

I started practicing forgiveness, not just towards others, but towards myself as well. It was challenging, but with each grudge I let go, I felt lighter and more at peace.

6) Fear of stepping out of comfort zones

Many people remain confined in their comfort zones, avoiding risks or new experiences because they believe it’s safer to stay where they are.

However, true growth and fulfillment come from stepping outside these boundaries.

As psychologist and Holocaust survivor Dr. Viktor Frankl once said, “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task.”

Stepping out of a comfort zone isn’t about seeking danger or unnecessary risk—it’s about personal development, exploration, and finding meaning.

Whether it’s taking on new challenges at work, exploring a new hobby, or traveling solo, each step outside familiar surroundings can lead to the discovery of new aspects of oneself.

Growth and comfort don’t coexist, but starting small and gradually pushing boundaries can unlock new levels of happiness and fulfillment.

7) Overvaluing happiness

This might sound counterintuitive, but one of the habits that fed my unhappiness was my constant chase for happiness.

I was always in pursuit of the next thing that I believed would make me happy. But as soon as I achieved it, the satisfaction was fleeting and I was on to the next thing.

Turns out, constantly chasing happiness can actually make us less happy. It sets up an expectation that we should be happy all the time, and when we’re not, we see it as a failure.

Instead, I learned to appreciate all emotions in their entirety – the good and the bad. Accepting that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated at times was liberating.

As a practical step, try this: The next time you feel a negative emotion, instead of pushing it away in pursuit of happiness, acknowledge it. Sit with it. Understand that it’s a part of being human.

Conclusion

The pursuit of happiness is a deeply ingrained goal for many, yet it can sometimes become counterproductive when we fixate on it.

Therapists often emphasize that chronic dissatisfaction stems from the patterns and habits we’ve built over time, as described in this article.

Breaking free from these ingrained cycles isn’t about achieving happiness constantly, but rather about cultivating a balanced perspective on life’s experiences, embracing both positive and negative emotions.

Growth, self-care, meaningful relationships, and forgiveness are key components in shifting from a state of constant dissatisfaction to one of fulfillment.

True contentment is found not in chasing happiness but in appreciating life’s ebb and flow, accepting challenges, and fostering connections.

It’s a gradual process that involves shifting focus from external comparisons and temporary highs to deeper self-awareness and authentic well-being.

As therapists highlight, happiness is not a destination to be reached but a byproduct of living a life that is aligned with personal values, growth, and self-compassion.