A journey of self-discovery often requires confronting our past. For me, this came in the form of making peace with my younger self.

You see, to truly move forward, I had to acknowledge where I’ve been, especially those aspects that have been holding me back. The solution? Writing letters to my younger self.

These weren’t just any letters, but seven heartfelt notes that addressed different stages in my life.

They served as my personal time machine, allowing me to revisit my past, and ultimately help me navigate through my present.

This process was challenging yet liberating. And in this article, I want to share my experience and how these seven letters finally set me free.

Join me on this journey, and maybe you, too, can find a way to reconcile with your past for a better and brighter future.

1) Dear child me…

My journey of self-reconciliation began with the most innocent version of myself – my childhood.

This letter was a deep dive into my early years, those times when the world seemed full of endless possibilities.

It’s easy to forget that once, we were all children, with dreams and fears that felt as real as anything we experience today.

Writing to my child self was an opportunity to acknowledge those dreams and fears, to give them a voice. It was also a chance to offer the support that maybe wasn’t always available back then.

The power of this letter was in its simplicity. It reminded me of where I’ve come from and how far I’ve traveled.

And it showed me that it’s okay to embrace who I once was, even with all the innocence and naivety.

With each word, I found myself becoming more understanding and compassionate towards my younger self. This was the first step in setting my past free – by accepting it.

But remember, it’s not about rewriting your past or trying to change it. It’s about understanding and accepting it as a part of your journey.

2) To my teenage self…

My second letter was addressed to my teenage self, a time when life was a whirlwind of emotions, confusion, and change.

I remember writing about a specific incident in high school.

It was the day when I was publicly ridiculed for a project presentation that didn’t go as planned. That day, I had wished for the ground to swallow me whole.

Back then, I took that failure to heart, convinced that it defined me. I wrote about the embarrassment and the hurt, but also about the lessons it taught me.

Lessons like resilience and the importance of not letting a single setback define who you are or who you can become.

I explained how, years later, I am grateful for that experience. It pushed me to strive harder and become better.

Through this letter, I gave my teenage self the reassurance I would have loved to hear back then: that it’s okay to fail, that every experience is a stepping stone towards growth, and that one day, you’ll look back and realize how these moments shaped you into a stronger person.

In retrospect, this letter wasn’t just about making peace with my past. It was also about celebrating the journey and the person I have become because of it.

3) Hello, young adult me…

The third letter I wrote was to my young adult self, when I was navigating the complexities of early adulthood.

This is a stage in life characterized by big decisions, from choosing a career path to building long-lasting relationships.

In this letter, I addressed the uncertainties and pressures that came with these decisions. One thing I focused on was the fact that the human brain isn’t fully developed until around the age of 25.

Specifically, our prefrontal cortex – the part responsible for decision making and understanding consequences – is one of the last areas to mature.

Understanding this helped me to let go of any harsh judgments or regrets I had about choices made during this time.

It allowed me to see that I was doing the best I could with the cognitive tools I had at the time.

This piece of knowledge enabled me to extend some grace to my young adult self and appreciate the courage it took to navigate through these formative years.

Writing this letter was an exercise in empathy, forgiveness, and self-love.

4) To the me in my late twenties…

The fourth letter was to a slightly older version of myself – the me in my late twenties. This was the period when life started to settle down a bit, but new challenges appeared.

I wrote about the struggles of trying to balance career progression with personal life.

The expectations of being an “adult” started to weigh heavily, and there was an overwhelming need to have it all figured out.

I reminded myself that it’s okay not to have all the answers. Life is not a race, and it’s perfectly fine to figure things out at your own pace.

This letter served as a reminder that everyone’s journey is unique and that comparing yourself to others only adds unnecessary pressure.

Ultimately, the aim was to assure my younger self – and myself now – that it’s okay to be a work in progress. We’re all learning, growing, and figuring things out as we go along.

5) A note to my early thirties self…

In the fifth letter, I tackled my early thirties, a time when I faced one of the hardest periods of my life.

The sudden loss of a close family member had left me grappling with grief and questioning the meaning of life. I found myself in a dark place, struggling to find light and hope.

Writing this letter was difficult, but it was also therapeutic. I poured out my feelings of loss and sadness, but also how I eventually found strength in the midst of despair.

I told myself about the importance of grief, how it isn’t something to be rushed or ignored but acknowledged and experienced. I wrote about the eventual acceptance and the healing that followed.

This letter was a testament to my resilience and my ability to rise above even the most painful experiences.

It showed me that it’s okay to grieve, to feel lost, but it’s also important to keep moving forward, however slowly that may be.

6) To mid-thirties me…

The sixth letter was to my mid-thirties self, a period of self-discovery and growth.

During this time, I was transitioning into new roles and responsibilities, both professionally and personally. There were uncertainties, yes, but also moments of joy and fulfillment.

I wrote about how I learned to embrace change instead of fearing it. Every new phase in life brings new opportunities for learning and growth.

I also acknowledged the mistakes I made and how they were not failures but valuable lessons that helped shape me into the person I am today.

This letter was an affirmation of my journey and a reminder to always look for the silver lining, even in the most challenging situations. It was about appreciating the journey, not just the destination.

7) And finally, to the present me…

The last letter was addressed to my current self. This was not just a reflection of the past, but also a commitment to the future.

This letter was about self-love and acceptance. It was about recognizing the progress made, appreciating the wisdom gained, and celebrating the person I have become.

Most importantly, it was about acknowledging that making peace with my past was not a one-time event but an ongoing process. It’s about continually growing, learning, and evolving.

This letter was a reminder that every experience, every stage of life, contributes to the person we are today and will become tomorrow.

It’s about embracing your journey, your story – every part of it – because they are what make you uniquely you.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-compassion

The journey towards self-reconciliation is deeply personal and unique to each individual.

At its core, it is an act of self-compassion. It’s about understanding that we are all human, and as such, we are susceptible to mistakes, failures, and moments of weakness.

But it’s also about recognizing our capacity for growth, resilience, and transformation.

Writing these seven letters to my younger selves was not just a cathartic exercise but a testament to the power of self-compassion.

It’s about acknowledging our past, accepting our present, and embracing our future.

The renowned psychologist, Carl Rogers, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This is the essence of self-compassion.

Whether you choose to write letters or find another way to make peace with your past, remember that it’s a process – a journey of continuous learning and growth.

And at the heart of this journey is you – your story, your experiences, your evolution.

So be kind to yourself. Celebrate your journey. And remember, every step you’ve taken has led you to where you are today. You are not defined by your past but shaped by it. And that is something truly worth celebrating.