Growing up, my house was not one where “I love you” was frequently said. But that doesn’t mean love wasn’t present.

It was just expressed differently, through actions rather than words.

This unique upbringing has had a significant impact on who I am today. It shaped my perspective on love and communication, my relationships, and even how I approach my professional life in the world of online editing and proofreading.

Here are 10 ways my childhood experience has influenced me, offering an insight into a different perspective of love and communication.

1) Actions spoke louder than words

In many households, “I love you” is a common refrain. But in mine, love was expressed through actions, not words.

This didn’t mean the love was any less real or powerful, it was just different.

This approach taught me early on that words can sometimes be empty. It’s easy to say “I love you,” but it takes effort to show it.

This lesson has been invaluable in my professional life. As an online editor and proofreader, it’s my job to ensure that the words on the page match the intent and purpose behind them.

Just as my parents showed their love through actions, I strive to ensure that the words I work with are backed up by real meaning and intention.

It’s a subtle shift in perspective, but one that has had a profound impact on how I communicate and interact with others.

2) Learning to read between the lines

Growing up in a home where “I love you” wasn’t explicitly said, I became a master at reading between the lines.

For example, my dad would wake up early each morning to make breakfast. He never voiced his love through the conventional three-word phrase, but his actions spoke volumes. His homemade pancakes were his way of saying “I care about you”.

This early training in picking up non-verbal cues and unspoken sentiments has served me well professionally.

Reading between the lines is second nature to me now, a skill honed from my unique childhood experience. And it’s one that has shaped my personal and professional life in more ways than I could have imagined.

3) Embracing different expressions of love

In many cultures around the world, expressing love verbally isn’t the norm. In fact, in some Asian cultures, saying “I love you” directly can be seen as awkward or even inappropriate. Love is often shown through actions, respect, and care for each other.

In my home, it was the same way. Love wasn’t said, it was shown.

This understanding has helped me tremendously in my professional life. Working with a diverse range of clients from different cultures in online editing, I’ve been able to appreciate and understand their unique ways of expressing thoughts and ideas.

Recognizing that love, respect or care can be communicated differently has allowed me to embrace variety and diversity in my work and personal relationships. It’s a perspective that I believe makes our world a little more interesting and a lot more inclusive.

4) Fostering independence

Growing up in a household where “I love you” wasn’t regularly said, I often found myself seeking validation elsewhere. This need for recognition eventually transformed into a drive for independence.

Instead of relying on others for affirmation, I learned to seek it within myself. This independence has been a crucial part of my personal growth and has played a key role in shaping my professional journey.

Learning to trust my own abilities and instincts from a young age has allowed me to navigate the complexities of my profession with confidence.

It’s a lesson learned from an unconventional upbringing, but one that has shaped me in ways I wouldn’t trade for anything.

5) Value in vulnerability

It might seem contradictory, but growing up in a house where “I love you” wasn’t said often actually taught me the value of vulnerability.

In a society where we’re often encouraged to hide our feelings, not hearing those three words made me more aware of my emotional landscape. I learned to not only identify my feelings but also to express them openly.

This has allowed me to foster deeper connections with people and has made me a better listener.

Being in tune with emotions helps me understand the tone and sentiment of the content I work with. It allows me to empathize with writers and their readers, enhancing the overall quality of the work.

Embracing vulnerability has been an unexpectedly valuable lesson from my unique upbringing.

6) The power of unspoken love

While my childhood home was not one filled with the frequent utterance of “I love you”, it was a place where love was felt deeply.

It was in the way my parents looked at each other, the way they worked together to provide for us, and how they showed up for every important moment in my life.

This unspoken love taught me that love is not merely a word to be said but a feeling to be experienced. It showed me that while saying “I love you” is important, showing it consistently through actions is even more so.

The power of unspoken love has truly shaped me, teaching me the importance of actions over words and instilling in me a commitment to authenticity, both personally and professionally.

7) Becoming self-reliant

Not hearing “I love you” regularly meant I had to find other ways to reassure myself. Over time, I learned to rely on my own abilities and judgement, trusting in my worth and capabilities.

An instance that comes to mind is when I first started as an online proofreader. Without the usual words of encouragement or affirmation, I felt a sense of self-doubt. But remembering my upbringing, I knew I had the tools to rely on myself.

I pushed through the uncertainty and worked hard to prove my abilities, not just to others but to myself. This self-reliance has been a defining aspect of my character, shaping both my personal life and professional career.

8) Unlearning to relearn

Growing up, the absence of “I love you” wasn’t necessarily a negative. It taught me to appreciate the different ways love can be expressed.

However, it also meant that I had to learn how to say those three words myself.

It’s interesting how not doing something can sometimes be as influential as doing it. When I first started expressing love verbally to my friends and partners, it felt new and strange.

Navigating this aspect of my upbringing has taught me the value of adaptability and flexibility, skills that have proved invaluable in my personal relationships and professional life.

9) Understanding through silence

In a home where “I love you” was rarely said, I learned to find understanding in silence. I realized that communication doesn’t always need words. Sometimes, silence can convey just as much – if not more.

This understanding has been crucial in my work as an online editor and proofreader. It’s not just about the words on the page, but also about the spaces between them.

The pauses, the breaks, the silence – they all add meaning and depth to a piece of writing.

Just as I learned to understand my parents’ silent expressions of love, I’ve learned to appreciate the power of silence in the written word. It’s a lesson that has shaped my approach to both life and work, reminding me that understanding often lies beneath the surface.

10) The beauty of resilience

Perhaps the most significant way growing up in a house where “I love you” was rarely said shaped me, was by instilling a sense of resilience.

I learned to navigate emotional landscapes differently, to understand unspoken sentiments, and to value actions over words.

This resilience has been a guiding force in my life. Whether in the face of personal challenges or professional hurdles in the world of online editing and proofreading, this inner strength has always been there, a testament to my unique upbringing.

It’s this resilience that helps me adapt, grow and continue moving forward, no matter what life throws my way. It’s a reminder that we are all products of our past, but we have the power to shape our future.

The echoes of silent love

Reflecting on my upbringing, it’s clear that the absence of “I love you” in my household was not an absence of love itself. It was simply a different language of love, one spoken through actions instead of words.

Drawing from the words of Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In my home, “I love you” might not have been said often, but the feeling of love was always present.

As we navigate our own lives and relationships, it’s worth remembering that love can be expressed in countless ways. And sometimes, it’s in the silence where we find the most profound expressions of love.