Here’s something I’ve noticed over my sixty-something years on this planet. You can learn more about a person’s character in five minutes watching how they treat a janitor than in five hours watching how they treat their boss.

I picked up this lesson the hard way during my 35 years in middle management. Back in my early days at the insurance company, I watched colleagues transform into completely different people depending on who walked into the room. Sweet as honey to the executives, dismissive or downright rude to the cleaning staff. It always struck me as deeply wrong.

Research has shown that respect for all people, regardless of their position or status, is fundamental to both professionalism and human dignity. But what is it about certain individuals that makes them naturally extend the same courtesy to everyone they encounter?

After years of observation, both in the office and in life beyond it, I’ve identified ten distinct qualities that people who treat janitors and CEOs with equal kindness tend to share.

1) They possess genuine emotional intelligence

The ability to recognize and manage one’s own emotions while understanding the emotions of others isn’t just some corporate buzzword. It’s a fundamental quality that shapes how we interact with every person we meet.

Studies indicate that emotional intelligence enables us to perceive the emotions of others, resonate with them, and distinguish between our own feelings and theirs. People with high emotional intelligence don’t compartmentalize their empathy based on job titles.

When you develop this skill, you start seeing people rather than positions. The janitor becomes Jorge, who worries about his daughter’s college tuition. The CEO becomes Sarah, who’s dealing with her mother’s health issues. Their titles fade into the background.

2) They understand true power doesn’t require displays of dominance

I learned this one from watching both good and bad bosses over the years.

The insecure ones always needed to remind everyone of their authority. They’d be curt with subordinates and obsequious with superiors. The truly powerful leaders I encountered treated everyone with the same baseline respect.

Real strength doesn’t need to announce itself through put-downs or dismissiveness. When you’re secure in who you are, you don’t need to elevate yourself by diminishing others. You can acknowledge the cleaning person’s humanity without feeling it somehow diminishes your own standing.

3) They recognize the inherent worth of all people

This might sound philosophical, but it’s remarkably practical.

Research demonstrates that treating all group members with dignity is seen as a basic entitlement, not something people need to earn through their position or accomplishments. Those who extend equal kindness understand this instinctively.

Every person you encounter has a story, struggles, dreams, and a full inner life just as complex as your own. The janitor mopping your office floor has loved deeply, suffered losses, celebrated victories. Recognizing this doesn’t diminish anyone else’s worth, it simply acknowledges reality.

4) They practice humility in their daily interactions

Humility gets misunderstood sometimes. It’s not about thinking less of yourself, it’s about thinking of yourself less.

People who treat everyone with equal kindness have usually learned somewhere along the way that their current position could change tomorrow. I saw plenty of executives get laid off during those corporate restructures I survived. Some of them had burned bridges with “lower level” employees on their way up, and those chickens came home to roost.

Intellectual humility research shows that recognizing the limitations of one’s knowledge and acknowledging that one’s beliefs might be wrong is associated with better social relationships and less authoritarian tendencies.

5) They extend empathy broadly, not selectively

One thing I noticed during my Thursday chess games with my neighbor Bob is how some people can be incredibly kind to their friends but cold to strangers. The quality that sets apart those who treat everyone well is their ability to extend empathy beyond their immediate circle.

Research on empathy and altruism has established that empathic feelings drive prosocial behavior toward others. But some individuals have developed the capacity to feel concern for people regardless of their social proximity or perceived similarity.

This doesn’t mean you have to be best friends with everyone. It simply means recognizing that the person restocking the break room snacks deserves the same basic courtesy you’d show your department head.

6) They possess strong character and moral consistency

Character, as I’ve come to understand it, is what you do when no one’s watching. Or more accurately, when the only people watching are those who can’t do anything for you.

The people who treat janitors and CEOs equally have developed a consistent moral framework that doesn’t shift based on who’s in the room. They’ve internalized values about how humans should treat one another, and those values don’t have exceptions for “unimportant” people.

During my years mentoring younger employees, I always told them: pay attention to how someone treats the receptionist, the custodial staff, the cafeteria workers. That tells you who they really are when the polish comes off.

7) They understand that every role serves a purpose

Let me share something that opened my eyes years ago.

One winter, our office building’s heating system broke down. The temperature inside dropped to near freezing. All of us managers and executives were completely helpless. You know who fixed it? The building maintenance supervisor and his team. For two days, we realized that his expertise was far more valuable than any VP’s PowerPoint presentation.

People who treat everyone with equal respect understand that an organization, a community, or society itself functions because of contributions at every level. The person who empties your trash enables you to focus on your work. The security guard keeps everyone safe. No role is beneath dignity.

8) They’ve likely experienced humility-building moments themselves

This one comes from personal experience and observation.

I’ve noticed that people who’ve faced their own struggles, setbacks, or moments of vulnerability tend to be kinder across the board. When you’ve been unemployed, when you’ve needed help, when you’ve felt invisible or dismissed, you remember that feeling. It changes how you treat others.

After I took early retirement at 62 during a company downsize, I felt lost initially. That experience of suddenly losing the identity I’d built over 35 years taught me something valuable about not defining people by what they do for a living.

9) They practice mindful awareness in their interactions

Have you ever noticed how some people move through the world on autopilot? They don’t really see the people around them unless those people are directly relevant to their immediate goals.

Those who treat everyone equally have developed a different approach. They’re present in their interactions. They make eye contact. They remember names. They say good morning to the security guard with the same genuine warmth they show their colleagues.

During my morning walks with Lottie, my golden retriever, I make it a point to greet everyone I pass. You’d be surprised how many people seem startled by a simple “good morning” from a stranger. We’ve lost something in our rush through life.

10) They understand that kindness costs nothing but means everything

Here’s the thing that really gets me. Being kind doesn’t require money, power, or status. It requires only the decision to see another person as worthy of basic human decency.

Research on empathy and altruism suggests that empathic concern for others can drive genuinely altruistic motivation, leading people to help others even at a cost to themselves. But simple kindness doesn’t even require sacrifice, just awareness and choice.

The people I’ve most admired over my years weren’t always the ones with the biggest titles or bank accounts. They were the ones who made the receptionist smile, who learned the janitor’s name, who said thank you to the person who held the door. Small gestures, enormous impact.

Conclusion

So what does all this tell us about ourselves and the people around us?

The way someone treats those who can do nothing for them reveals their true character. It shows whether they view kindness as transactional or as a fundamental way of moving through the world.

The next time you’re in a position to interact with someone society deems “less important,” pay attention to how you respond. Are you fully present, or are you already looking past them to someone more “useful”? That moment of honest self-reflection might tell you more about who you are than any job title or achievement ever could.

What have you noticed about how people treat those they perceive as having less status or power?