I’m in my late sixties now, which puts me squarely in the boomer generation. And I have three adult children: Sarah is thirty-eight, Michael is thirty-six, and Emma is thirty-three. Over the years, I’ve gradually become aware that certain things I do or say make them exchange looks or bite back smiles.

At first, I was defensive about it. I thought they were being disrespectful or that they didn’t appreciate the wisdom I was trying to share. But as I’ve gotten older and hopefully a bit wiser, I’ve realized that some of our generation’s habits genuinely are outdated or tone-deaf, even if they come from a good place.

The hard part is that we don’t always see it. We grew up in a different world, with different expectations and different rules. What seems perfectly reasonable to us can come across as oblivious or out of touch to our kids. And they usually don’t tell us directly because they don’t want to hurt our feelings or start an argument.

But I’ve been paying attention. I’ve caught the eye rolls, noticed the subject changes, heard the stories they tell about us when they think we’re not listening. And I’ve started recognizing the patterns, both in myself and in other people my age.

This isn’t about mocking boomers or suggesting we should all transform into different people to please our children. But a little self-awareness goes a long way. If you recognize yourself in any of these, join the club. I’m guilty of most of them.

1) Refusing to learn basic technology and expecting them to fix everything

I’ll start with the one I’m most guilty of. For years, I’d call my kids every time something went wrong with my phone or computer. Sometimes multiple times in a day. I treated them like my personal tech support department.

“The internet isn’t working.” “My email won’t open.” “Where did all my photos go?” Half the time, the solution was something simple I could have figured out myself if I’d just looked for the settings menu or restarted the device.

My daughter Sarah finally told me, gently, that she didn’t mind helping but I needed to at least try to solve problems myself first. She said watching me refuse to learn basic functions and then immediately call her was frustrating, especially when she was in the middle of work or dealing with her own kids.

That was a wake-up call. I started actually reading error messages instead of panicking. I learned to Google solutions. I asked my kids to teach me how to do things rather than just doing them for me. And you know what? I can handle most basic tech issues now.

The eye roll comes from the learned helplessness, the refusal to even try because it’s easier to just have them fix it.

2) Criticizing how they raise their children

This one is huge. I made plenty of mistakes as a parent. I was too controlling with Sarah’s choices, I missed too many of Michael’s soccer games, I struggled to understand Emma’s learning disabilities. My parenting was far from perfect.

Yet somehow, I still found myself wanting to comment on how my kids were raising their children. They let the kids have too much screen time. They were too strict about bedtime. They weren’t teaching them proper manners. On and on.

The irony is not lost on them. Here I am, a person who made countless parenting mistakes, acting like I have all the answers. Every generation raises children differently, and unless something is genuinely dangerous, it’s not my place to criticize.

I’ve learned to bite my tongue. When I see my grandchildren doing something I wouldn’t have allowed, I remind myself that these aren’t my children to raise. My job is to be supportive, not to second-guess every parenting decision.

3) Complaining about “kids these days” and their work ethic

Oh boy. How many times have I heard someone my age launch into a speech about how young people don’t want to work hard anymore? How they expect everything handed to them? How they’re too soft or too entitled or too whatever?

Meanwhile, my kids are working harder than I ever did. Sarah is juggling a demanding career and two children. Michael works long hours in a competitive field. Emma is building a business while managing student loan debt I never had to deal with.

The world they’re navigating is completely different from the one I entered as a young adult. Housing costs have skyrocketed relative to wages. Education costs have exploded. The job market is more unstable. Yet somehow, we act like they’re lazy for not achieving the same milestones at the same ages we did.

When I catch myself starting a “kids these days” comment, I try to stop and actually think about what my children are dealing with. It provides some perspective.

4) Forwarding dubious news articles and conspiracy theories

I never thought I’d become that person, but I caught myself doing this a few years back. I’d see something alarming or interesting on social media and immediately forward it to my kids without checking if it was true.

My son Michael finally sent me a link to a fact-checking website and politely asked me to verify things before sharing them. I was embarrassed. Some of the stuff I’d been forwarding was completely false, and I’d been spreading misinformation without even realizing it.

Our generation didn’t grow up with the internet. We learned to trust newspapers and television news. We didn’t develop the same skepticism about sources or the habit of verification that younger people have. So we’re more vulnerable to believing and sharing things that aren’t true.

Now I check things on Snopes or other fact-checking sites before I share them. It takes two minutes and prevents me from looking foolish or spreading nonsense.

5) Giving unsolicited advice about finances and life choices

“You should buy a house.” “You need to save more money.” “Why are you spending money on that when you could invest it?” I’ve said all of these things, usually without being asked.

The problem is my financial advice is based on an economy that doesn’t exist anymore. When I was young, you could work a middle-management job and afford a house, a car, and a family on one income. That’s not reality for most young people now.

My kids have tried to explain this to me. That housing prices in their area are astronomical compared to wages. That student loans eat up a huge portion of their income. That the cost of childcare is staggering. But I kept giving advice based on my own experience, which wasn’t relevant to their situation.

Unless they specifically ask for financial advice, I keep my opinions to myself now. They’re adults. They know their own circumstances better than I do.

6) Talking about the “good old days” like everything was better

I’m as guilty as anyone of romanticizing the past. “Things were simpler when I was growing up.” “People were more polite back then.” “We didn’t need all these safety regulations and still survived.”

But here’s the thing. The past wasn’t better for everyone. It was better for some people, sure. But it was also a time of more discrimination, fewer opportunities for women and minorities, less awareness of mental health, and plenty of other problems we’ve since recognized and tried to address.

My kids don’t want to hear about how great things were before they were born. Especially when “the good old days” included things like leaded gasoline, widespread smoking, casual sexism, and ignoring serious social problems.

Nostalgia is natural, but constantly comparing their present unfavorably to our past gets old fast.

7) Oversharing on social media and tagging them in embarrassing posts

Social media is still relatively new territory for many of us, and we don’t always understand the unspoken rules. We’ll post things that are too personal, too political, or too revealing. We’ll share photos of our adult children without asking permission. We’ll tag them in things they’d rather not be associated with.

I learned this lesson when I posted a childhood photo of Emma that she found mortifying. She politely asked me to take it down and to please check with her before posting photos of her in the future. I thought I was just sharing a cute memory. She felt like I’d violated her privacy.

Now I ask before posting anything that involves my kids. It’s their image, their story, their choice whether it goes online.

8) Insisting on phone calls instead of texts

I prefer talking on the phone. It feels more personal, more connected. But I’ve had to accept that my kids often prefer texting, especially for quick questions or logistics.

For a long time, I’d call them instead of texting, even for simple things. “Just wanted to see what time you’re coming over on Sunday.” That could have been a text. Instead, I’m calling them while they’re at work or busy with their kids, forcing them to either answer or feel guilty about not answering.

I’ve learned that text is perfectly fine for most communication. We can still have phone calls when we want to actually catch up and talk, but for quick information exchanges, text is more respectful of their time.

9) Dismissing their mental health concerns

When I was growing up, you didn’t talk about anxiety or depression. You just dealt with it. Therapy was for people with serious problems, not for everyday stress. You toughened up and moved on.

My kids’ generation approaches mental health completely differently, and for good reason. They’re more open about struggles, more willing to seek help, more aware that mental health matters as much as physical health.

But I’ve caught myself minimizing their concerns. “Everyone feels anxious sometimes.” “You just need to get out of your own head.” “In my day, we didn’t have time to be depressed.” These comments, even when well-intentioned, dismiss real struggles.

I’ve learned to listen instead of immediately trying to fix or minimize. If one of my kids says they’re struggling with anxiety or depression, I take it seriously and ask how I can support them.

10) Expecting them to drop everything for family obligations

For my generation, family came first, period. You showed up for holidays, gatherings, obligations, no questions asked. But my kids have complicated lives with multiple competing demands on their time.

I used to get offended when they couldn’t make it to every family dinner or had to leave events early. I’d make comments about priorities or how families are supposed to be together. I wasn’t considering their jobs, their children’s schedules, their own need for downtime.

Now I try to be more flexible. If they can’t make it, I accept that without guilt-tripping them. If they need to adapt traditions or celebrate on different days, we work it out. Being together matters, but so does respecting their autonomy and their full, complicated lives.

Conclusion

Look, generational differences are nothing new. I’m sure my parents did things that made me roll my eyes too. It’s the natural order of things. The world changes, norms shift, and what made sense in one era doesn’t always translate to the next.

The question isn’t whether we’ll sometimes be out of touch. It’s whether we’re willing to notice when we are and maybe adjust a little. Not abandon our entire worldview or pretend to be someone we’re not, but just stay open to the possibility that our way isn’t the only way.

My kids are generally patient with me. They put up with my quirks, they help me with technology, they politely ignore my outdated references. The least I can do is be aware of the behaviors that drive them crazy and try to moderate them a bit.

Will I still mess up? Absolutely. Will I occasionally fall back into old patterns? Without question. But at least I’m trying to see things from their perspective. And that’s something.