My grandson asked me the other day why his school has so many rules about playground equipment. “Back in my day,” I started, and I could see his eyes begin to glaze over. But here’s the thing: there really were some stark differences in how kids grew up in the 1960s and 70s compared to now.

I’m not here to romanticize the past or claim everything was better back then. It wasn’t. But those of us who grew up during that era faced certain realities that, looking back, definitely built a particular kind of resilience. Some of these experiences were character-building. Others were just plain hard.

Let me walk you through ten harsh realities that shaped my generation into the tough-minded folks many of us became.

1) Physical discipline was the norm, not the exception

This one’s uncomfortable to talk about, but it’s the truth. When I was growing up in Ohio as the middle child of five, spanking wasn’t just accepted, it was expected. Teachers could paddle you at school, and your parents would paddle you again when you got home for getting in trouble in the first place.

I remember my father working double shifts at the factory, coming home exhausted, and still having the energy to discipline us when we stepped out of line. There was no discussion, no timeout corner, no negotiation.

Now, I’m not advocating for this approach. As a grandfather, I’ve learned gentler, more effective ways to guide children. But did it make us tougher? In a way, yes. We learned quickly that actions had immediate, uncomfortable consequences.

The fear of physical punishment kept many of us in line, though it also taught some kids to simply not get caught rather than not misbehave. That’s not exactly the lesson we want to pass down, is it?

2) You entertained yourself or you were bored

There were three television channels. Three. And they went off the air at midnight with a test pattern.

No tablets, no smartphones, no YouTube, no video games until Pong showed up in the mid-70s. If you were bored, that was your problem to solve. Your parents weren’t going to drop everything to entertain you.

Growing up sharing a bedroom with two brothers, I learned to create my own fun. We built forts, played outside until the streetlights came on, and used our imaginations because there simply wasn’t another option.

This forced creativity and self-reliance. You learned to sit with boredom until you figured out something interesting to do. These days, kids reach for a device the moment they feel understimulated, and I wonder what we’re losing in that instant gratification.

3) Injuries were treated with ice and a Band-Aid

Break your arm? That warranted a doctor visit. But scrapes, bruises, bumps, and minor cuts? You got a cursory inspection, maybe some mercurochrome that stung like fire, and you were sent back outside.

I remember falling off my bike and skinning my knees so badly I could barely walk. My mother cleaned it up, told me I’d live, and that was that. No trip to urgent care, no follow-up appointment, no real concern unless bone was showing or blood wouldn’t stop.

This wasn’t neglect, it was just how things were. Parents had bigger worries, and kids were expected to be resilient. We learned our bodies could take a beating and bounce back, which built a certain physical confidence and pain tolerance.

Looking back, some injuries probably should have gotten more attention. But we certainly didn’t grow up fragile.

4) Bullying was something you “dealt with” on your own

This is one of those realities I’m genuinely glad has changed, even if imperfectly. When I was in school, if you complained about being bullied, you were often told to stand up for yourself or stop being sensitive.

There were no anti-bullying programs, no school counselors dedicated to the issue, no real intervention. If someone picked on you, you either fought back, learned to avoid them, or endured it silently.

I witnessed some kids go through absolute hell, and the adults around us largely shrugged it off as “kids being kids.” Did this make us tougher? Some of us, maybe. Others it damaged in ways that lasted decades.

The expectation that you’d handle social cruelty alone, without adult support, forced a kind of self-reliance. But it also left a lot of emotional scars that my generation is still unpacking.

5) Your family’s financial struggles were visible and unfiltered

My family didn’t have much money. We never pretended otherwise, and my parents didn’t shield us from that reality. When times were tight, which was often, we knew it. My mother managed the household budget during those lean times, and we kids understood we couldn’t have things we wanted.

There was no explanation about “making good financial choices as a family” or softening the blow. It was simply, “We can’t afford that.” End of discussion.

This directness taught us that life includes financial limitations and disappointment. We learned to live within our means because we had no choice. We wore hand-me-downs, ate leftovers, and never expected our parents to buy us everything we wanted.

Did it feel harsh sometimes? Absolutely. Did it teach us gratitude and resourcefulness? Without question.

6) Danger was everywhere, and you navigated it alone

Remember those metal playground structures that got scorching hot in summer? The merry-go-rounds that could fling you off if you weren’t holding tight? The tall slides with no safety rails?

We played on all of it, unsupervised, for hours. Our parents sent us outside in the morning during summer and expected us back when the streetlights came on. They had no idea where we were or what we were doing.

We rode bikes without helmets, played in construction sites, explored woods and creeks, and generally put ourselves in situations that would give modern parents heart attacks. We learned to assess risk on our own, to pick ourselves up when we fell, and to understand that the world could hurt you if you weren’t careful.

Some kids got seriously injured. That was seen as unfortunate but inevitable. The freedom came with real danger, and we learned to respect that danger through experience.

7) Academic struggles meant you failed, period

If you couldn’t keep up in school, you repeated the grade or got pushed through anyway, unprepared for what came next. Learning disabilities often went undiagnosed. Kids who needed extra help were simply labeled as “slow” or “not college material.”

I watched my youngest struggle with what we now know were learning disabilities, and back then there was virtually no support. The message was clear: keep up or get left behind.

There were no individualized education programs, no tutors unless your family could afford private help, no real accommodation for different learning styles. You either figured it out or you didn’t.

This created a sink-or-swim mentality that certainly made some kids tougher and more determined. But it also left countless others behind, convinced they were simply not smart enough when they actually needed different teaching approaches.

8) Emotional expression, especially for boys, was actively discouraged

When I was a young father, I’m ashamed to say I probably used phrases like “boys don’t cry” with my own son. It’s what I heard growing up, and what every boy I knew heard constantly.

Sadness, fear, anxiety? Those emotions were weaknesses to be hidden. Only anger was somewhat acceptable for boys, and even that was supposed to be controlled. Girls had slightly more latitude but were still expected to keep their feelings in check.

This emotional suppression created a generation of adults who struggle with vulnerability and expressing feelings. Many of us men spent decades learning what we should have been taught as children: that emotions are normal and healthy.

Did it make us tougher on the surface? Sure. But underneath, many of us were dealing with unprocessed emotions that eventually caught up with us. Real toughness, I’ve learned, includes emotional intelligence.

9) Adult problems filtered down to children without much buffering

Parents in the 60s and 70s didn’t hide their struggles from kids the way many parents try to today. Marital problems, financial stress, work troubles, all of it happened in front of us.

I remember my parents arguing about money at the dinner table, my father coming home and complaining about his boss, the tension when extended family had falling-outs. Nobody thought to protect children from adult stress.

This early exposure to life’s difficulties meant we understood from a young age that adults don’t have all the answers and that life includes serious problems. It killed any illusion that adulthood meant having everything figured out.

Some might call this a loss of innocence. Others would say it was realistic preparation for life. Either way, it definitely contributed to developing a thick skin and realistic expectations.

10) Healthcare and safety standards were shockingly lax

Seatbelts weren’t mandatory in many places until the late 70s. Kids rode in the back of pickup trucks. Smoking was allowed everywhere, including around children. Lead paint was in our homes, asbestos in our schools.

Medical and dental care was often delayed until problems became severe because of cost or inconvenience. Preventive care wasn’t emphasized. Mental health support was virtually nonexistent for children.

We survived exposure to things that are now known to be harmful, not because we were tougher, but often just through luck. Many of my generation deal with health issues now that stem from those lax standards.

This reality taught us that life includes risk and that our bodies are more resilient than we think. But it also meant we normalized dangers that we now know were completely preventable.

Conclusion

These harsh realities shaped a generation that values self-reliance, has high pain tolerance, and doesn’t expect life to be easy. But they also created adults who sometimes struggle with emotional expression, may not seek help when needed, and can be dismissive of others’ struggles.

Were we tougher? In some ways, yes. But toughness isn’t always the measure of a well-adjusted person or a healthy childhood.

As I watch my grandchildren grow up in a different world, I sometimes miss the freedom and resilience-building of my own childhood. Other times, I’m grateful they’re growing up with better emotional support, safety standards, and understanding of children’s needs.

Maybe the question isn’t whether kids today are softer, but whether we’re raising them to be strong in ways that actually matter?