Moving in together is a big step for any couple. You’re excited, in love, and everything seems perfect.

But then, the spark starts to fade.

Why is that?

Often, it’s not the big things but the subtle, everyday habits that creep in once you start sharing a space. These seemingly minor behaviors can slowly but surely extinguish that initial spark.

As a relationship expert, I’ve spent years observing these shifts. I’ve found that couples who lose their spark once they move in together usually adopt these 7 habits without even realizing it.

Understanding these habits is the first step to preventing them and keeping your relationship vibrant and fulfilling.

1) Ignoring the small things

When you first move in together, everything is exciting and new. You’re in love and the small things don’t seem to matter.

But over time, these small things start to add up.

The dishes left in the sink, the socks on the floor, the way they leave the toothpaste cap off – all of these can slowly chip away at the spark.

One of the habits that couples often adopt when they move in together is ignoring these small things. Instead of addressing them, they let them pile up until they become a big issue.

The key is to communicate about these small things early on. Don’t let them fester.

Talk about what bothers you and find a solution together. This way, you can keep the spark alive even when you start sharing a living space.

2) Over-communicating

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t communication the key to a healthy relationship?

Yes, but there’s a line between healthy communication and over-communicating.

When couples move in together, there’s a tendency to share everything. From the mundane details of your day to every single thought that crosses your mind. After all, you’re together all the time now.

But here’s the thing: over-communication can actually smother the spark.

Constantly being in each other’s space and thoughts can lead to a sense of boredom and predictability.

A little mystery can go a long way in keeping the spark alive. So it’s okay to have parts of your day or thoughts that are just yours. It keeps things interesting and gives you something new to talk about at the end of the day.

3) Becoming overly codependent

When you move in together, it’s easy to start doing everything together. You eat together, sleep together, watch TV together, and sometimes even work together.

Over time, this can lead to a form of codependency where you start losing your individual identities.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about how important it is to maintain a certain level of independence even when you’re living together.

Spending time apart, pursuing your individual hobbies and interests, and having your own friends are all crucial for a healthy relationship.

It allows for personal growth and brings new experiences into the relationship to keep it fresh and exciting.

Becoming overly codependent is a habit that can slowly kill the spark in your relationship. So make sure you both have space to be individuals as well as a couple.

4) Forgetting to date each other

Just because you’re living together doesn’t mean you should stop dating each other. In fact, it’s more important than ever to keep the romance alive.

I’ve seen many couples fall into the routine of daily life and forget the butterflies they used to feel when they went on a date.

It’s easy to swap date nights for Netflix marathons on the couch. But that won’t keep the spark alive.

So, make a habit of dating each other even after you move in together:

• Go out for dinner
• Surprise each other with small gifts
• Spend some quality time together without distractions

It’s the little moments of connection that make a big difference in a relationship.

5) Taking each other for granted

This is a big one. When we first move in with our partners, we appreciate every little thing they do. But as time passes, we start taking these things for granted.

I’ve seen it happen time and again.

The kind gesture of making coffee in the morning or the loving way they tuck you in at night becomes expected, even overlooked.

But let me tell you, it’s these little acts of kindness that keep the love alive and the connection strong. So always remember to say ‘thank you’, to show your appreciation and not take your partner for granted.

The spark in a relationship continues to glow when we appreciate our partners for who they are and what they do. Make it a habit to show gratitude and appreciation every day.

6) Letting negativity creep in

It’s natural to have disagreements and arguments when you’re living with someone. However, it’s how you handle these conflicts that matter.

I’ve observed that couples who start focusing more on the negatives rather than the positives in their relationship often find their spark diminishing. Because let’s face it, negativity is draining.

So even when things get tough, try to focus on the positives in your relationship.

And remember, it’s okay to seek help if you feel negativity overwhelming your relationship. A fresh perspective can often work wonders.

For more tips and advice on maintaining a healthy relationship, make sure to follow me on Facebook. I regularly share my latest articles and insights there.

7) Avoiding tough conversations

Some conversations are hard. Discussions about finances, future plans, or personal insecurities can be uncomfortable.

But avoiding these tough conversations can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.

When you move in together, you’re merging your lives. This includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s essential to have open and honest communication, even when it’s tough.

Sure, these conversations might be uncomfortable. They might even lead to arguments. But they also lead to understanding, compromise, and growth.

Final thoughts

Understanding these seven subtle habits is key to keeping your relationship vibrant after moving in together. They might seem harmless, but these behaviors can slowly erode the excitement you once had.

By recognizing and addressing these habits, you’re taking proactive steps to maintain the connection and joy in your relationship.

To delve a little deeper into the complexities of relationships and how we can navigate them better, I highly recommend this insightful video by Justin Brown.

He explores the problem with using the law of attraction to try to find the perfect partner and suggests a more realistic approach to relationships.