When you think of a great leader, certain traits might come to mind—but some of the most effective leaders succeed because of less conventional qualities.

From being great listeners to showing vulnerability, these counterintuitive traits often make the biggest difference in how they lead.

Brace yourself; you’re about to rethink everything you thought you knew about leadership.

1) Embracing vulnerability

We often associate leadership with strength and invincibility. The idea of a leader being vulnerable can seem paradoxical, even counterproductive.

Yet, according to psychology, vulnerability is a powerful trait in exceptional leaders. It’s not about presenting oneself as weak or fragile, but about the willingness to expose one’s limitations and uncertainties.

Brene Brown, a renowned psychologist, has extensively explored this concept. In her research, she found that leaders who embrace their vulnerability are more relatable and trustworthy.

They create an environment where their team members feel safe to take risks, voice their opinions, and make mistakes.

So contrary to conventional wisdom, vulnerability isn’t a leadership flaw. It’s an asset. Exceptional leaders know this and aren’t afraid to show their human side.

2) Willingness to fail

This might sound odd but stick with me. Many of us grow up with the notion that failure is bad. We’re taught to avoid it at all costs. However, exceptional leaders see things differently.

As counterintuitive as it may sound, leaders who aren’t afraid to fail tend to be more successful. It’s not that they aim for failure, but they understand its value as a stepping stone to success.

Let me share a personal example. Early in my career, I was leading a project that unfortunately didn’t go as planned. Despite our team’s best efforts, we failed to meet our objectives.

I was devastated and worried about the impact on my reputation as a leader.

However, instead of dwelling on the failure, I chose to learn from it. I analyzed our mistakes, identified areas for improvement, and used the experience to grow both personally and professionally.

What I realized was that this failure wasn’t a setback but an opportunity for growth. It made me a more resilient, empathetic, and effective leader.

So, don’t be afraid of failure. Embrace it. Learn from it. Grow from it. Exceptional leaders do.

3) Introversion as a leadership strength

When we think of leaders, we often picture charismatic extroverts who command the room with their energy. But did you know that some of the most successful leaders are actually introverts?

Indeed, introverts like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Elon Musk have achieved remarkable success in their respective fields.

They may not be the life of the party, but they possess qualities that make them exceptional leaders.

Introverted leaders are often great listeners. They process information deeply, focus on long-term goals, and excel at empowering their teams. They thrive on solitude, which promotes deep thought and innovative ideas.

In a world that often celebrates extroversion, it’s easy to overlook these strengths. However, psychology tells us that introversion can indeed be a powerful leadership trait.

So if you’re an introvert, don’t underestimate your potential for exceptional leadership.

4) Comfort with uncertainty

Most of us crave certainty. We like things to be predictable, planned, and within our control. However, exceptional leaders understand that uncertainty is a part of life and leadership.

Leaders are often faced with unpredictable situations and unknown outcomes. They have to make decisions with incomplete information and navigate uncharted territory.

Being comfortable with uncertainty doesn’t mean they enjoy chaos. Rather, it means they have the ability to remain calm, composed, and decisive even when things are unclear or unstable.

They can adapt to change, manage risks, and find opportunities in challenges.

5) Patience over action

In a fast-paced world, we often associate leadership with action. Leaders are expected to make quick decisions, drive change, and get results. But sometimes, the best course of action is inaction.

Exceptional leaders understand the value of patience. They know that not every problem requires an immediate solution and not every opportunity should be grabbed instantly.

Patience allows leaders to take a step back, assess the situation thoroughly, and wait for the right time to act. It helps them avoid hasty decisions and cultivate strategic thinking.

In fact, some of the most successful business strategies were borne out of patience.

Take the case of Apple Inc., under the leadership of Steve Jobs, they were notorious for their slow and meticulous approach to product development. The result? Revolutionary products that changed the world.

So while it may seem counterintuitive, patience can indeed be a powerful leadership trait. 

6) Prioritizing empathy

Leadership is often associated with authority, power, and control. But at its heart, leadership is about people.

It’s about connecting with others, understanding their perspectives, and making decisions that benefit everyone.

This is where empathy comes in. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about seeing things from their point of view and recognizing their needs and concerns.

Exceptional leaders prioritize empathy. They don’t simply dictate orders from a distance; they connect with their teams on a human level.

They listen, they understand, and they care. They acknowledge the struggles and challenges their team members face and offer support where needed.

Empathy fosters trust, encourages open communication, and promotes a positive work environment. It makes team members feel valued and appreciated, which in turn motivates them to do their best work.

In essence, empathy isn’t just a soft skill or an emotional trait. It’s a fundamental aspect of effective leadership. Exceptional leaders know this, and they strive to lead with empathy every day.

7) The power of humility

Humility is often overlooked in discussions about leadership. It’s not as glamorous as charisma or as tangible as strategic acumen. But in my experience, humility is a cornerstone of exceptional leadership.

I remember a time when I was leading a team on a major project. We had worked hard, and I was confident in our success.

But as the project unfolded, it became clear that we were off course. The strategies I had championed weren’t working.

It was a humbling experience. I had to admit my mistakes, reassess our approach, and listen to the team’s feedback and ideas. It was tough, but it made me realize the true value of humility.

Humility allows leaders to acknowledge their mistakes, learn from their failures, and appreciate the contributions of others. It fosters a culture of learning and growth rather than blame and defensiveness.

8) Choosing service over self-interest

Leadership often comes with perks and privileges. But exceptional leaders understand that it’s not about them. It’s about the people they serve.

This concept, known as servant leadership, flips the traditional leadership model on its head.

Instead of focusing on power and control, servant leaders prioritize the needs of their team. They aim to serve rather than be served.

Servant leadership is about fostering growth in others. It’s about creating an environment where every team member can thrive and reach their full potential.

It involves listening to your team, understanding their needs, and making decisions that benefit them. It means being a leader who empowers, supports, and serves.

While it may seem counterintuitive, choosing service over self-interest can lead to greater team satisfaction, increased productivity, and ultimately, more effective leadership. 

9) Valuing authenticity above all else

In a world full of expectations and pressures, it’s easy for leaders to lose themselves.

To conform to a certain image, to adopt a certain style, to play a certain role. But exceptional leaders resist this. They value authenticity above all else.

Being an authentic leader means being true to who you are. It means leading with your values, your beliefs, and your unique perspective. It means being real, honest, and transparent.

Authenticity fosters trust and respect. It makes you relatable and approachable. It encourages others to be authentic too.

So if there’s one thing you take away from this article, let it be this: Be yourself. Because in the end, the most effective leadership style is your own. Authenticity is the cornerstone of exceptional leadership.