8 counterintuitive signs that you’re growing as a person, according to psychology

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | October 31, 2024, 10:23 pm

Personal growth can often come with unexpected feelings and experiences.

This article highlights eight counterintuitive signs that indicate you might be evolving as a person.

From feeling uncomfortable to making more mistakes, these signs challenge the notion that growth is always a smooth and joyful process.

Instead, they reflect the realities of self-discovery and transformation.

By understanding these signs, you can gain insight into your personal development and embrace the changes that come with it.

1) You’re feeling more uncomfortable

Here’s a surprising truth: growth often feels uncomfortable. It’s not always wrapped in the warm, fuzzy feelings of accomplishment and contentment.

In fact, it can feel downright unsettling at times. You may find yourself questioning your decisions, feeling unsure of your path, or even doubting your own abilities. And that’s okay.

Psychology suggests that this discomfort is a sign that you’re pushing beyond your comfort zones, challenging old patterns and beliefs, and stepping into unfamiliar territory.

This might seem counterintuitive, but it’s actually a positive sign of personal growth.

It means you’re taking risks and trying new things.

You’re not just sticking to what’s comfortable and safe — you’re stretching yourself to become better.

2) You’re making more mistakes

In a world where perfection is often praised, making mistakes isn’t exactly something we strive for.

But here’s the thing: mistakes are an integral part of personal growth.

No one likes to fail or make errors, but these missteps are often our greatest teachers.

They provide us with valuable insights about what works and what doesn’t. They help us refine our strategies, enhance our skills, and deepen our understanding.

After all, growth doesn’t come from doing the same things flawlessly, but from learning and evolving through our imperfections.

3) You’re letting go of old friendships

It might seem like a negative thing, losing friends. After all, friendships are supposed to last forever, right?

But as we grow, we start to change – our interests, our mindset, our goals – and sometimes, our friends don’t change with us.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it is quite normal. As we mature, our social circles often shift to reflect the changes we’re undergoing.

You may find yourself connecting more with people who align with your current interests and values, and less with those who don’t.

If you’re noticing that some of your friendships are naturally fading away while others are deepening or new ones are forming, it’s a sign that you’re evolving as a person.

4) You’re not as busy as you used to be

In our fast-paced society, being busy is often worn as a badge of honor.

But have you noticed that you’re not as busy as you used to be? That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

You see, personal growth isn’t just about doing more. It’s also about understanding what truly matters to you and focusing your energy there.

It’s about creating space for what brings joy, fulfillment, and meaning into your life, rather than just filling your time with endless tasks and commitments.

5) You’re questioning yourself more

There’s a common misconception that as we grow, we become more certain of who we are and what we want. But have you ever found yourself asking more questions about your life and choices lately?

That’s actually a good thing.

The truth is, growth often involves a lot of self-reflection and introspection.

It’s about questioning your beliefs, your decisions, your goals. It’s about continually reassessing if the path you’re on aligns with the person you aspire to be.

It can be scary to question ourselves and unsettling to not have all the answers.

But this process of questioning is not a sign of weakness or confusion. Instead, it’s a testament to your desire to understand yourself better and make conscious choices that reflect your true self. 

6) You’re embracing solitude

There was a time when the thought of spending an evening alone would make me feel uneasy.

The silence, the lack of distraction, the sheer presence of my own thoughts – it all seemed a bit too much. But now, I find myself cherishing these moments of solitude.

It might sound strange, but embracing solitude is often a sign of personal growth. It’s about being comfortable in your own company and enjoying your own thoughts.

It’s about learning to value your own presence, just as much as you value the presence of others.

Solitude gives us the chance to reconnect with ourselves, to reflect on our lives, and to simply be.

7) You’re not always happy

Here’s a hard pill to swallow: being happy all the time isn’t a sign of growth. In fact, it’s the opposite.

Life is full of ups and downs. It’s a mix of joy, sadness, anger, fear, excitement, and a myriad of other emotions.

And personal growth means acknowledging and experiencing all these feelings, not just the pleasant ones.

If you’re going through a phase where you’re not feeling particularly joyful, don’t be too quick to judge yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re failing or falling behind in your growth journey.

Instead, you might be digging deep into the layers of your emotions and exploring different aspects of your being.

Experiencing a full range of emotions is part of being human. It’s what makes us real, what makes us genuine.  

8) You’re becoming your own best friend

Here’s the most important sign of growth: you’re learning to become your own best friend.

This means you’re learning to show yourself the same kindness, understanding, and respect you’d give to a dear friend.

You’re recognizing your worth, celebrating your victories, and forgiving yourself for your mistakes.

Becoming your own best friend isn’t about being self-centered. It’s about developing a healthy relationship with yourself.

In short, it’s about acknowledging that you, too, deserve love and respect – from yourself first and foremost.

Conclusion

The signs of personal growth may not always align with conventional expectations.

If you’re feeling more uncomfortable, questioning yourself, or even experiencing less happiness, know that these feelings can indicate meaningful progress.

Embracing solitude and letting go of old friendships can be difficult, yet they are often essential steps toward a more authentic self.

As you learn to be your own best friend, you create a foundation for continued growth and self-acceptance.

Ultimately, these experiences contribute to a deeper understanding of yourself and pave the way for a more fulfilling life.