6 conversation starters only confident people use, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | August 6, 2024, 10:42 am

Starting a conversation — it sounds simple, yet it can feel like an uphill battle, especially if you’re not naturally confident.

But have you ever noticed how some people just seem to have a knack for it? They walk into a room and effortlessly start engaging, meaningful conversations.

These confident individuals use specific conversation starters that set them apart.

In this article, I’m going to share with you 6 exclusive conversation starters that only confident people use.

Let’s uncover the secrets of these eloquent conversationalists and help you bring your A-game to any social situation.

1) “Have you heard about…”

Every confident individual understands that knowledge is power, especially in conversations.

What sets confident people apart is their ability to engage others in meaningful discussions about a wide range of topics, and they do this by starting with, “Have you heard about…”

This conversation starter isn’t just about flaunting knowledge but it’s an open invitation to a dialogue, allowing the other person to share their thoughts or learn something new.

As Carl Jung famously said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

This quote embodies the essence of this conversation starter. The goal isn’t just to share information but to create a transformative exchange of ideas.

The key here isn’t to make yourself look smart or superior. It’s about fostering a genuine connection and engaging conversation. So, ensure you use this phrase appropriately and respectfully.

2) “What’s your take on…”

If there’s anything I’ve learned from my experiences, it’s that people love to share their opinions.

One time at a networking event, I found myself in a conversation with a complete stranger. Instead of trying to fill the silence with small talk, I decided to ask, “What’s your take on the trend of remote work?”

Suddenly, the conversation took a turn. He shared his experiences working from home, the challenges he faced, and how he overcame them. The conversation flowed naturally, and we connected on a level that wouldn’t have been possible with just small talk.

Remember what famous psychologist William James once said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” By asking for someone’s opinion, you’re not only giving them a chance to express themselves but also showing them that you value their perspective.

This phrase is a powerful tool in your conversational arsenal, and using it effectively can help you connect with people on a deeper level.

3) “I need your advice on…”

Here’s the thing: we all struggle. We all have moments of doubt, and it’s okay to admit it. Confident people understand this and aren’t afraid to show vulnerability.

One conversation starter I’ve found incredibly useful is, “I need your advice on…” This phrase doesn’t just start a conversation; it opens a door to mutual understanding and respect.

Asking for advice is a powerful way to engage someone. It shows that you value their opinion and trust their judgement. It’s a sign of respect.

Famed psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.” By asking for advice, you’re acknowledging the struggle but also showing resilience by seeking solutions.

Confidence isn’t having all the answers – it’s being secure enough to admit when you don’t. So don’t be afraid to ask for advice. You might be surprised by the insightful conversations that follow.

4) “How does that make you feel?”

One of the most powerful conversation starters at your disposal is, “How does that make you feel?”

This question goes beyond surface-level chit-chat, diving into the realm of emotions and personal experiences. It shows that you are genuinely interested in the other person’s perspective and feelings.

The renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!”

By asking someone how they feel, you’re creating a safe space for them to express themselves without judgement. This can lead to deeper connections and more meaningful conversations. 

5) “I disagree with you on…”

Here’s a conversation starter you might not expect: “I disagree with you on…”

While it may seem confrontational, confident people understand that healthy disagreements can actually pave the way for stimulating discussions and deeper understanding.

This phrase is not about starting an argument, but rather expressing a different viewpoint. It invites the other person to present their thoughts and engage in a meaningful dialogue.

Disagreeing with someone can actually lead to a greater understanding of their perspective and the topic at hand.

But it’s crucial to be respectful and open-minded when using this conversation starter. It’s not proving who’s right or wrong, but understanding different perspectives.

6) “I recently learned that…”

I’ve always been a curious person, and I love sharing new things I’ve learned. A conversation starter that I frequently use is, “I recently learned that…”

This phrase is a great way to share knowledge and ignite curiosity in others. For instance, the other day, I mentioned to a friend, “I recently learned that our brains are more active when we sleep than when we watch TV.” This led to a fascinating discussion about brain health and the importance of good sleep.

Psychologist B.F. Skinner once said, “Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.” By sharing something you’ve recently learned, you’re not only educating others but also fostering a love for learning.

Every piece of knowledge you share contributes to a broader conversation. So don’t hold back when you learn something new; share it!

What will your next conversation look like?

Now that we’ve uncovered these unique conversation starters used by confident people, it’s time to reflect on how we can apply them in our own interactions.

To guide your reflections, consider the following:

  • Which of these characteristics do you already possess?
  • Which ones can you work on improving?
  • How can you incorporate these techniques into your next conversation?

Remember, being a skilled conversationalist isn’t about having the perfect thing to say at all times. It’s about being authentic, showing genuine interest in others, and creating a space where meaningful interactions can occur.

So, as you move forward, consider how you can use these conversation starters to not just initiate dialogue, but to truly connect with others.

And every conversation is an opportunity for growth and learning. So go ahead, embrace the silence, ask the open-ended questions, be vulnerable and curious. After all, isn’t that what makes a conversation truly worth having?