Ah, the holidays—a time for joy, laughter, and… family drama.

Let’s be honest, no matter how festive the season gets, there’s always that one family member who seems to stir the pot.

Maybe it’s their snarky comments, their constant need for attention, or their uncanny ability to turn the tiniest disagreement into a full-blown argument. Whatever their specialty, they’re practically a holiday tradition themselves.

But instead of dreading their antics this year, why not prepare yourself with a few clever strategies to handle them? After all, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed, not overshadowed by someone else’s drama.

Let’s dive into seven ways to keep your cool, protect your peace, and maybe even diffuse the tension before it starts. Because this year, the drama stops with you.

1) Establish boundaries beforehand

Setting boundaries is a lot like setting a course for your ship before you sail into that storm.

You’re well aware of your relative’s penchant for drama. You’ve seen it unfold before, and you know the telltale signs.

It’s time to use that knowledge to your advantage.

Before the holiday gathering, think about what topics or situations usually trigger this relative’s dramatic flare-ups. Once you’ve identified them, make a conscious decision not to indulge these triggers.

This is not about ignoring or avoiding the person altogether. It’s simply about establishing certain lines that shouldn’t be crossed, for the sake of everyone’s enjoyment of the holiday festivities.

Remember, you’re not trying to control their behavior – you can’t. But you can control how you respond to it, and establishing boundaries is a crucial part of that response.

2) Use humor and distraction as a tool

Now that we’ve established some boundaries, let’s talk about a strategy that’s helped me quite a bit – distraction.

During one holiday gathering, my Uncle Bob, the usual drama stirrer in our family, started to veer towards his favorite controversial topic – politics.

I could see the tension starting to build in the room. Without missing a beat, I casually brought up a funny story about my recent travel mishap.

Everyone laughed and the mood lightened instantly. Uncle Bob, momentarily distracted, moved away from his political rant and even joined in on the laughter.

The key here is timing and subtlety. The distraction should be natural and not seem forced or it may backfire and create more drama. 

The idea is to steer the conversation towards safer, lighter topics whenever you notice it heading towards choppy waters. A well-timed joke or funny anecdote can diffuse tension and put everyone at ease.

It isn’t about manipulating or controlling the person; it’s simply a way to redirect the energy in the room towards something more positive and enjoyable for everyone.

3) Embrace the power of patience

There’s a famous quote by Joyce Meyer that goes, “Patience is not the ability to wait, but how you act while you’re waiting.” Wise words, especially when dealing with family drama over the holidays.

I’ve found that the key to handling a family member who’s prone to creating drama is maintaining patience. 

When Uncle Bob (yes, him again) starts his tirade, I remind myself to be patient and not react impulsively. I remember Joyce Meyer’s words and try to act in a way that doesn’t fuel the drama.

It’s not always easy, I’ll admit. There are times when my patience wears thin and I want to react, to argue back. But I’ve learned that this only adds fuel to the fire.

Instead, I take a deep breath and remind myself that this too shall pass. Patience truly is a virtue in these situations.

This brings me to the next point…

4) Practice empathy

Behind every dramatic family member, there’s often a story. Perhaps they’re feeling neglected, or they’re dealing with personal issues that they don’t know how to express properly.

I’ve found that practicing empathy can make a world of difference in these situations. Instead of getting irritated or upset by their dramatic behavior, try to understand where they’re coming from.

This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or justify their actions. It just means acknowledging their feelings and treating them with kindness and respect, even if you find their behavior challenging. 

One holiday season, I made an effort to genuinely listen to Cousin Lisa’s incessant complaints instead of brushing them off as usual. To my surprise, I discovered she was dealing with some serious personal issues.

By giving her a platform to express herself and showing her that she was heard, the drama significantly toned down. We ended up having one of the most peaceful holiday gatherings in years.

So yeah, you can’t go wrong with empathy. As psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein explains, “Empathy helps you to connect with family members in a real and authentic way. It helps you diffuse your emotions, and those of others, effectively.”

5) Encourage group activities

Family gatherings, especially during the holidays, are about togetherness. And nothing fosters this feeling more than engaging in group activities.

I’ve found that planning and executing some fun group activities can significantly reduce the chances of drama. It keeps everyone occupied and focused on a common goal, leaving less room for tension and disagreements.

Once, during a particularly tension-filled family gathering, I decided to initiate a game of charades. Everyone got involved, even the usual drama-causers. The laughter, teamwork, and friendly competition took center stage while the drama took a backseat.

When everyone’s involved in a shared experience, it’s harder for anyone to dominate the spotlight with negativity or stir up unnecessary conflict.

Whether it’s a fun game, a collaborative cooking session, or even a group walk after dinner, these activities create moments of connection that leave little room for drama.

Plus, they can help lighten the mood and remind everyone why they came together in the first place—to celebrate and enjoy each other’s company.

6) Prioritize self-care

While it’s important to manage the drama for the sake of the group, don’t forget to take care of yourself as well.

Let’s face it, dealing with a dramatic family member can be stressful and exhausting. But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is crucial. Whether it’s taking a few minutes for yourself during the gathering or ensuring you get enough rest before the big day, every little bit helps.

7) Maintain an attitude of love and forgiveness

At the end of the day, family is family. Despite all the drama and tension, there’s a bond that ties us together.

Remembering this can make all the difference in how you handle a dramatic family member. Sure, their antics can get on your nerves, but beneath it all, there’s a shared history and love that’s worth preserving.

I’ve found that maintaining an attitude of love and forgiveness has helped me the most. Instead of holding onto resentments or grudges, I choose to forgive their dramatic behavior and remember why I love them.

This doesn’t mean I ignore or condone their actions, but instead of letting it ruin my holiday experience, I choose to focus on the positive aspects of our relationship.

So this holiday season, try to view your dramatic family member through a lens of love and forgiveness. It’s not always easy, but it can make your holiday gathering a much more pleasant experience.

After all, the holidays are all about love, joy and togetherness – let’s not let drama overshadow these beautiful values.