Wherever you are in your healing journey, heartbreak still sucks.

In a society obsessed with romantic love, if you’ve been hurt, it can be tough to find people who truly understand your pain.

More often than not, people assume you’re wallowing when you’re really just putting the pieces of yourself back together.

And that healing takes time.

So how exactly do you know when you’re finally…healed?

Read on to find out more about the 10 clear signs you’re finally over someone who hurt you.

(P.S. Remember, healing isn’t linear – it’s okay to have good days and bad days, even if you tick off most boxes on these list!)

1) You enjoy your own company

A telling sign that you’re finally over someone who hurt you is that you genuinely enjoy your own company.

Romancing yourself with solo-dinner dates, movie excursions without having to share your popcorn, hikes in your own company…

You’ve learned to appreciate solitude rather than fearing it. Because spending time by yourself brings you peace and happiness, more than seeking someone else’s company.

Moreover, you also use this alone time to reflect on your personal growth and to focus on self-love after having been through a painful breakup.

You’ve actually discovered a bunch of new interests, and you’re finally rebuilding your life without the person who hurt you!

2) You’ve picked up old hobbies again

A clear indication that you’re moving on from someone who hurt you is when you start to reconnect with your passions and hobbies.

Mid-break-up, everything lost its appeal.

Reading books, watching Netflix, even eating food. None of it seemed fun anymore.

But you picked up a paintbrush/gardening glove/a pen, and suddenly, you remember who you were before the hurt…

And who you could be beyond it.

Being able to engage in your hobbies again not only distracts you from your pain, but also helps you rediscover yourself.

It’s a big sign that you’re starting to prioritize your happiness over your hurt.

3) You no longer feel the need to check on them

Be honest – when was the last time you typed their name into social media to have a quick stalk?

If it wasn’t this morning, and you’ve actually forgotten the last time you did an online survey of what they’re up to, good news!

When you’ve truly moved on, their life becomes just that – their life, separate from yours.

You’re not interested in what they’re doing, who they’re with, or where they are.

This lack of interest isn’t about bitterness or resentment; it’s about indifference.

You’ve finally come to realize that their actions no longer dictate your emotions, which signifies a significant step forward in your healing process.

4) You’ve stopped blaming yourself

Breakups involve a great deal of what-ifs.

What if you didn’t start that argument?

What if you didn’t send that message?

What if you said nothing at all?

In the aftermath of a painful breakup, it’s natural to replay scenarios in your head, wondering if there was something you could have done differently. But dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ only prolongs your suffering.

When you’ve truly moved on, you understand that it takes two to make or break a relationship. You’re no longer weighed down by guilt or regret.

You accept that just like successes, failures are also a part of life. You’ve learned from your mistakes and are ready to move forward; free from self-blame and self-doubt.

5) You allow yourself to feel the pain

We tend to stick our heads in the sand and hide from real, tangible pain.

But if you’ve made it this far on your healing journey, you’ve likely learned not to shy away from nor repress it.

And let’s be honest; you certainly don’t pretend it doesn’t exist.

Instead, you let yourself feel every bit of it, the sadness, the anger, the disappointment, and even the occasional bouts of self-pity.

You understand that these emotions are part of the healing process and that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.

Yes, it’s messy and uncomfortable. But this raw honesty with yourself is a sign of emotional maturity. It shows that you’re not just trying to quickly bandage a wound but are allowing it to heal properly.

6) You wish them well

Forgiveness and moving on doesn’t have to be a two-person conversation.

But what’s likely is that at some point in this whole journey, you let go.

This doesn’t mean forgetting the hurt or pretending like it didn’t happen at all. Instead, it’s about acknowledging the pain, learning from it, and then letting it go.

You understand that holding onto bitterness or resentment won’t bring you peace; on the contrary, it’ll just keep you chained to the past.

So, you decide to let go of the grudges. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight, but eventually, you find yourself hoping that they find happiness, just as you hope to find yours.

By wishing them well, you’re not only setting them free but also setting yourself free from the chains of the past.

7) You laugh more than you cry

How many bad days have you had over the past week? (Be honest).

Compare them to the first week after your break up.

You know – those initial days when even the smallest things would remind you of them and bring tears to your eyes. One song on the radio had you balling your eyes out in seconds.

But now, you find yourself laughing at the silliest jokes, enjoying a movie, or just having a good time with friends. Sure, there are still moments of sadness, but they’re becoming less frequent.

The world doesn’t seem as gray anymore. You’re beginning to see the colors around you again, to enjoy life’s simple pleasures without that one person constantly clouding your mind.

This shift from tears to laughter isn’t just about feeling happier; it’s about regaining control over your emotions.

It’s about realizing that your happiness is not tied to one person but is within your own hands.

8) You’ve started noticing other people

Remember how for the longest time it felt like they were the only person in the world? 

Faces seemed blurry, auras pale. You could barely hold a conversation.

But something has changed. You’re starting to see that the world is full of interesting, occasionally attractive people.

You might even find yourself flirting a bit, and guess what?

It feels good!

This doesn’t mean you’re ready to jump into a new relationship right away, but it’s a sign that you’re slowly opening up to the idea of what lies ahead.

9) You’ve stopped making excuses for them

One of the tougher love signs that you’re over someone who hurt you is when you stop making excuses for their behavior.

We mentioned forgiveness, and how that doesn’t need to include justifications.

In much the same way, you might have spent your relationship justifying how they hurt you and the reasons that (semi) made it okay. At least in your head…

But now, you see things for what they are.

You acknowledge that their actions were not okay, that you didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

You stop romanticizing the past and start focusing on the reality of what happened.

And let’s be honest, it’s about time. No more sugarcoating, no more excuses.

You deserve someone who treats you with respect and kindness, not someone for whom you have to make excuses for.

10) You’ve learned to love yourself

The most vital sign that you’re over someone who hurt you is when you’ve learned to love yourself.

After everything you’ve been through, you’ve come to understand that self-love isn’t just about pampering yourself or saying positive affirmations.

It’s about setting boundaries, demanding respect, and prioritizing your well-being.

You’ve realized that before you can truly love someone else, you need to love yourself.

Not the idealized version of what you think you should be, but the real, authentic you, with all your strengths and flaws.

It’s not an easy journey, and it takes time.

But once you’ve reached this point, know that you’re not just over them – you’re actually stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

And most importantly, ready for whatever comes next.