8 clear signs your friend doesn’t value you as much as you value them

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | July 24, 2024, 9:27 pm

Friendships should always be a two-way street. But sometimes, it might feel like you’re driving alone.

There’s a big difference between a friend who’s just busy and a friend who doesn’t value you. It’s tough to admit, but some people aren’t as invested in the friendship as you are.

Recognizing the signs can be challenging, and it often hurts. But it’s important to know where you stand.

 In this article, I’ll share 8 clear signs your friend doesn’t value you as much as you value them. I hope it can help you reevaluate relationships that leave you feeling undervalued.

1) They’re always “too busy”

We all have times when life gets wild, and we struggle to catch up. But if your friend always seems too busy to spend time with you, it could be a sign they value the friendship less than you do.

It’s different when they’re genuinely swamped with work or personal issues.

However, if the “too busy” excuse comes up every time you try to make plans, they’re not prioritizing you.

And there’s a big difference between being truly busy and simply needing to make time. True friends find time for each other, even in the most active schedules.

When your friend is always “too busy” for you, it might be time to reassess the value they place on your friendship.

2) They never initiate contact

I remember having a friend whom I was always reaching out to. I was the one to text, call, and arrange plans. After a while, it started to feel one-sided.

I decided to conduct a little experiment. I stopped reaching out, and eventually, a month passed; the silence was deafening.

That’s when it hit me – if your friend never initiates contact, they don’t value the relationship as much as you do. 

It’s a tough pill to swallow but a vital indication to recognize. Friendships should be balanced, with both parties making an effort. 

3) They only talk about themselves

In a healthy friendship, the conversation should flow both ways. 

If your friend only talks about themselves and shows little to no interest in your life, they don’t cherish the companionship as much as you do.

It’s natural to enjoy sharing our experiences and achievements. At the same time, it can be emotionally draining for the other person when it becomes one-sided.

 It could indicate a lack of respect or value for your friendship if your friend constantly talks about themselves without showing interest in your life. 

4) They never share your successes

Friendship is about mutual support and celebration. If you’ve achieved something, big or small, your friends should be among the first to cheer you on.

However, if your friend downplays your success or never seems genuinely happy for you, it shows they don’t treasure the company.

 A friend who values you will celebrate your wins with you, not make you feel like they’re insignificant. This is an apparent indication of where their priorities lie.

True friends stick with you through the good and the bad. They don’t just show up when things are tough; they’re there to share in your joy and success.

 If they can’t share in your joy, it might be time to evaluate their place in your life.

5) They don’t respect your boundaries

Respect is a fundamental cornerstone of any friendship. And part of that respect comes from acknowledging and honoring each other’s boundaries.

Suppose a friend consistently crosses your boundaries, whether sharing your secrets, making unwanted comments, or not respecting your time.

A friend who values you will respect your boundaries because they care about your comfort and well-being. 

They understand that crossing these lines can hurt you and damage the relationship.

If you find yourself constantly uncomfortable because your friend fails to respect your boundaries, they may not value you or the friendship as you thought.

6) They break promises

I once had a friend who would make grand promises. Plans were always on the horizon, adventures were always in the making, but when the time came, they would always fall through.

Promises were broken, excuses were made, and disappointment became a regular feeling. 

It made me question the worth of their words and, in turn, the value they placed on our friendship.

If your friend frequently breaks promises, it’s about more than just their lack of reliability but also their lack of respect for you. 

It sends a message that your time and feelings aren’t important to them.

You’re constantly left hanging by a friend who doesn’t keep their word, which means they may not value your friendship as much as you do.

7) They take more than they give

Friendships, like any relationship, should ideally give and take. It’s natural for the scales to tip one way or the other occasionally. 

Whether it’s your time, energy, or resources, if your friend is always on the receiving end and rarely reciprocates, it can leave you feeling drained and undervalued.

A friend who appreciates you will strive to maintain a balance. They’ll ensure their actions don’t leave you feeling like you’re being taken advantage of.

So if your friend takes more than they give, it’s time to reevaluate your friendship.

8) Your intuition tells you something is off

Never underestimate the power of your gut feeling. Paying attention to that is essential if something feels off in your friendship.

Your intuition can often pick up on subtleties your conscious mind has yet to process.

 Your friend may value your friendship less if you consistently feel undervalued or taken for granted.

Trust your instincts. They’re your internal guidance system and can help steer you towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Final thought: Self-worth

The concept of self-worth is at the heart of any relationship, including friendships.

 Recognizing your value is crucial in understanding how others should treat you.

It can be a painful realization if a friend doesn’t value you as much as you love them.

 But remember, it’s not a reflection of your worth but rather their inability to appreciate it.

Your value doesn’t diminish based on someone’s inability to see your worth. You deserve friendships that are mutually respectful, supportive, and balanced.

So, take a moment to reflect on your friendships. Do they uplift you or bring you down? Are they balanced or one-sided?

 It’s better to be surrounded by fewer friends who genuinely value you than many who don’t.