You know the feeling, right? You’re at a family gathering, and Aunt Bertha throws a sharp comment your way.

Or maybe it’s Uncle Frank, who’s always quick with a judgmental remark. It can be hard, I know, but sometimes you need to put them back in their place.

Now, I’m not suggesting you start a family feud. Luckily, there is a different approach to this.

I’m pretty sure you heard the age-old saying, “Kill them with kindness,” haven’t you? That’s precisely what we are gonna do.

In this article, I’ll reveal 7 classy phrases you can use when faced with those judgmental jabs from family members.

1) “I appreciate your viewpoint.”

Picture this. Your cousin says something judgmental about your career choice, and it stings. Here’s where you take a deep breath and respond with, “I appreciate your viewpoint.”

Why does this work?

Firstly, it shows that you’re listening. You’re acknowledging their perspective without agreeing or getting defensive.

Secondly, it gives you the power. By responding calmly and maturely, you’re showing that you’re not rattled by their comment – even if it might have stung a little.

This phrase is all about taking the high road. It’s about understanding that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but so are you.

You don’t need to win an argument, but you can always win respect.

2) “That’s an interesting perspective.”

Let me share a personal anecdote here. A few years back, my brother-in-law made a snide remark about how I was always “wasting time” on my hobbies.

I felt a pang of annoyance, but I bit back the retort that instantly came to mind.

Instead, I looked at him, smiled and said, “That’s an interesting perspective.”

I could see he was taken aback. He was expecting me to get defensive or argue. But by using this phrase, I had diffused the tension and asserted myself without causing a scene.

This phrase is powerful. It tells them that you’ve heard their opinion, and you’ve considered it.

But without agreeing or disagreeing with them, you’re subtly communicating that it’s merely their perspective, not a fact.

After that incident, the snide remarks dramatically decreased. 

3) “We may have to agree to disagree.”

Sometimes, no matter how composed you try to stay, certain opinions can push your buttons. It’s human nature. We all have our limits.

I was at a family reunion when my aunt decided to express her rather outdated views on parenting.

As a new mother, I was taken aback. Her words were judgmental, her tone condescending.

In that moment, it would have been easy to lash out, to let my emotions take control. But that wouldn’t have solved anything. Instead, I took a moment. I looked at her and said, “We may have to agree to disagree.”

It was like a sudden pause in an ongoing movie. You could see the surprise in her eyes. But more importantly, I saw respect.

This phrase is your go-to when you’re dealing with deep-rooted beliefs or controversial topics where finding common ground seems impossible.

It’s not about admitting defeat or avoiding confrontation. It’s about understanding that people can have different views and that’s okay. What isn’t okay is letting those differences disrupt your peace.

4) “Let’s focus on what brings us together.”

Family gatherings can sometimes become a minefield of judgmental comments.

And in my experience, these situations can be quickly diffused by shifting the focus.

Last Christmas, a heated debate about politics was brewing at our family dinner. Tensions were high, and I could see judgmental remarks being passed around the table.

Before things could escalate further, I interjected with, “Let’s focus on what brings us together.”

And just like that, the room fell silent.

Everyone looked at me, and then slowly, the conversation steered towards shared memories, family traditions and laughter-filled stories. The tension melted away.

This phrase is a gentle reminder that despite our differences, there’s a lot that connects us:

• Love for each other
• Shared history
• Common values

It’s an effective way to steer the conversation away from potentially divisive topics and towards unity and positivity.

5) “We all have our unique journey.”

Did you know that there are approximately 7.8 billion people in the world, each with their own unique story and path in life? It’s a staggering thought, isn’t it?

So, when my sister-in-law decided to criticize my decision to switch careers, I decided to put this piece of wisdom into practice.

With a calm smile, I responded, “We all have our unique journey.”

Her eyebrows shot up, and she was quiet. The judgmental comment hung in the air, but it no longer had the power to affect me.

This phrase is a gentle reminder that we are all different. What works for one person may not work for another.

It’s a classy way to assert that you are the author of your own story and no one else gets to dictate how it should unfold.

6) “I understand where you’re coming from.”

It was during a family brunch when my cousin voiced his disapproval about my decision to move abroad. His words were judgmental, and I could sense the tension rising.

Instead of getting defensive, I opted for empathy. “I understand where you’re coming from,” I told him.

His expression softened, and the tension began to dissipate. By acknowledging his viewpoint, I had taken the wind out of his sails.

This phrase is about empathy. It’s about showing that you understand their concerns or fears, even if you don’t agree with them.

It’s a kind way of saying that their judgmental comment comes from their own perspective, fears or insecurities and not necessarily from a place of truth about you.

7) “Let’s respect each other’s choices.”

At the end of the day, respect is a two-way street. If we expect others to respect our choices, we must be willing to extend the same courtesy to them.

So, when my father voiced his disapproval about my decision to adopt a minimalist lifestyle, I could feel a wave of frustration washing over me.

But instead of losing my cool, I looked him in the eye and simply said, “Let’s respect each other’s choices.”

The room fell silent, but I could see understanding slowly dawning in his eyes.

This phrase is a powerful assertion of your individuality and a request for mutual respect.

It’s about acknowledging that everyone has their own path in life and that we should respect each other’s choices, even if we don’t always understand or agree with them.

The final word

These 7 classy phrases are not just your shield but also your sword – helping you defend your choices and assert your individuality while maintaining the peace.

They’re tactful, respectful but oh-so-effective.

The goal isn’t to engage in a battle of words but to protect your peace while commanding respect.

Next time a family gathering takes a sharp turn toward criticism, you’ll be ready—armed with the perfect response that leaves no doubt about where you stand.