Navigating the world of friendships isn’t always easy.

Sometimes, it’s tough to tell if a friend is truly supportive or subtly toxic. You might feel drained or uncomfortable after hanging out, but you’re not sure why.

Psychology offers us some clues, however. There are classic signs that indicate a friend might be toxic.

In this article, I’ll walk you through 8 classic signs of a toxic friend. By the end, you’ll be better equipped to recognize and handle these situations.

Let’s dive in.

1) Constant negativity

We all have our ups and downs, but a toxic friend seems to live in a world of constant negativity.

Toxic friends have a knack for turning even the most positive situations into negative ones. They might find faults in every achievement, or diminish your joy by pointing out potential problems.

This isn’t just a downer— according to psychology, it can actually affect your mental health. 

If you find yourself feeling drained or down after spending time with a certain friend, their constant negativity might be to blame.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward addressing the issue. And always remember, it’s okay to distance yourself from people who bring you down.

2) They’re not there for you

Good friends support each other through thick and thin. But a toxic friend? Well, in my personal experience, they’re often missing in action when you need them the most.

I remember a time when I was going through a rough patch. I was dealing with a breakup and I needed someone to lean on. I reached out to a friend who I thought would be there for me.

But instead of offering a shoulder to cry on, they brushed off my feelings and changed the topic to their own problems. It was clear that my issues didn’t matter to them as much as their own.

According to experts, friends who frequently dismiss your feelings or are consistently unavailable, especially during tough times, are exhibiting toxic behavior.

You deserve friends who can offer mutual support and understanding.

3) Jealousy and competitiveness

In a healthy friendship, your successes are celebrated, not envied. However, a toxic friend might show signs of jealousy or competitiveness when you’re doing well.

Rather than feeling happy for you, they might make negative comments or try to one-up you with their own achievements. Their aim is not to share joy but to keep the spotlight on themselves.

Psychology suggests that this behavior stems from deep-seated insecurities. The green-eyed monster is not just a myth, it’s a real psychological phenomenon that can turn even the closest of friendships sour.

Research has shown that people who are frequently jealous have lower levels of self-esteem. It’s not about you—it’s about their own feelings of inadequacy. Recognizing this can be the key to understanding why your friend behaves the way they do.

4) They’re overly critical

Constructive criticism is one thing, but constant critique is another.

A toxic friend often has a knack for pointing out your flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings. They might disguise it as ‘joking’ or ‘being honest’, but the truth is, it’s hurtful and damaging.

Over time, this kind of behavior can seriously affect your self-esteem and confidence.

Friends should lift you up, not bring you down. If someone in your life is constantly critical of you, it might be time to reconsider the friendship.

5) They’re not happy for your success

One of the most beautiful aspects of friendship is sharing in each other’s joy and success. It’s a feeling like no other when a friend genuinely celebrates your victories with you.

But in a toxic friendship, this is rarely the case.

A toxic friend may dismiss, belittle or even ignore your achievements. It’s as if your happiness somehow threatens their own sense of self-worth.

This can be incredibly hurtful. You deserve to be surrounded by people who are genuinely happy for you and who can celebrate your successes without feeling threatened.

It’s okay to protect your peace and distance yourself from those who fail to see the joy in your success.

6) They break your trust

Trust is the foundation of any good friendship. But a toxic friend may not respect this sacred bond.

I once confided in a friend about a sensitive issue I was dealing with. I trusted them with my secret, only to find out later that they had shared it with others. This betrayal left me feeling hurt and violated.

When a friend breaks your trust, it’s not just about the secret they’ve spilled—it’s about the disrespect they’ve shown towards your feelings and boundaries.

Breaches of trust can obviously cause serious harm to a relationship. If you find yourself unable to trust a friend due to their past actions, it’s a big sign of a toxic friendship.

7) They use guilt to control you

A toxic friend may often use guilt as a tool to manipulate you into doing what they want. They might make you feel bad for not spending enough time with them, not doing them favors, or for having other friends.

It’s a subtle form of control that can leave you feeling obligated to meet their demands even when it’s inconvenient or against your wishes.

Experts warn that this kind of emotional manipulation can be damaging to your mental health. It’s important to recognize these tactics and assert your boundaries.

You have the right to live your life on your own terms without being guilt-tripped into meeting someone else’s demands. If a friend frequently makes you feel guilty, they’re displaying a classic sign of toxic behavior.

8) They don’t respect your boundaries

The most important thing to remember is that every healthy friendship requires respect for personal boundaries.

A toxic friend, however, might repeatedly cross these boundaries, disregarding your feelings or comfort. They may make unwelcome comments, invade your personal space, or make demands that you’re uncomfortable with.

Breaking boundaries is not just disrespectful—it’s a form of control. It’s their way of asserting dominance over you.

Respect is a two-way street. If a friend can’t respect your boundaries, it’s a clear sign that they’re not treating you with the dignity you deserve. It might be time to reevaluate the relationship and prioritize your own well-being.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-love

At the heart of this issue is a profound truth: recognizing and dealing with toxic friendships is ultimately a form of self-love.

A toxic friend can drain your energy, lower your self-esteem, and leave you feeling unhappy.

It’s essential to remember that you have the right to surround yourself with people who respect, value, and genuinely care for you. Parting ways with a toxic friend doesn’t make you a bad person—it signifies that you are prioritizing your well-being, which is always a commendable decision.

Just as psychologist and author Dr. Brene Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”

So, take a moment to reflect on your relationships. You deserve friendships that bring joy, support, and positivity into your life. Don’t be afraid to let go of those that do the opposite.